Disclaimer; This fanfiction uses existing ideas, characters and or worlds, but is an independent work of art. I own nothing, hence the reason for publishing my writings here instead of in real books where I could make some money.
It was late in the morning when the collection of females in the Koki apartment woke next … and it was to an official-sounding knocking on the door.
Ranma, being the one that was the closest, and the fastest to change into somewhat decent clothing, answered.
On the other side of the door stood two men in formal black business suits, one had very slick hair combed towards the back of his head, the other wore shades and hardly had any hair at all.
"Ms Koki," said the one wearing sunglasses. "I am Akouda Shibi, this is Kaji Tazuna, we are representatives from the divine Emperor and the Government, may we please enter so that we may conduct our business with you in private?"
There was no sign of malice in the two, and the clumsy manner they moved betrayed the fact that they had no training in the Martial Arts, so it was impossible for them to betray her by masking their intentions. The scan took less than a second, after which, she stepped aside and gave a semi-polite bow, gesturing for the men to enter.
Inside, Nodoka had gotten enough time to get decent, and greeted her unexpected guests politely before heading off to the kitchen to make some tea.
"Now, gentlemen," said Ranma after the two government agents had taken a seat around the table. "What can I help you with?"
With a shared look, the men placed the previously unnoticed briefcases on the low table, and opened the lids.
"I am from the Department of the Supernatural," stated the man in sunglasses and pulled out a plain folder from his briefcase, which he placed on the lid of his briefcase as he closed it. "It would be Japan's answer to … oh, Area 51 … only we do not have aliens stashed away, but rather choose to focus on eliminating malicious ghosts, monsters, demons and such … we have for some time been aware of your Jusenkyo Curse, and it has brought nought but headaches, as we got reports of supernatural beings in Nerima destroying public and private property with no discrimination. Of course, while a curse is magical, having one hardly makes you a supernatural being, hence the headache, as there is no other department set to handle events such as your collapsing a mountain, both here and in China …"
With the stern lecture over, the man handed the folder to Ranma.
"These are your identification papers, for both forms," he explained even as Ranma opened the folder. "Passport, social security number, birth certificate … anything to prove you are who you say you are, and it should be legal internationally."
"I don't know …" started Ranma, surprised that the government knew and accepted what she had done in the past. She was not about to correct them by stating her current species, as this would more than likely be suspicious in some way or another. She didn't know how they would react if they discovered that she actually was a supernatural being now. "Thank you."
"It's the least we could do," replied the man. "We had meant to do it for the past month, but your whereabouts were unknown until last night."
Ranma nodded, understanding their reasons.
"As for me," started the other man, Mr Kaji. "I am one of the Emperor's aides, and was sent to ask what you wish for as your reward for apprehending your father for us before any serious damage could occur."
"It was no trouble," assured Ranma. "When I heard what my no-good pops had done, I couldn't let him roam free … so I did what any self-respecting Martial Artist would have done …"
"Surely, not every Martial Artist is capable of performing your feats, eh?" asked Akouda jokingly. "Discounting Happosai and Khu Lon, of course."
"Oh, I could think of at least one or two …" mused Ranma. The wife of her current Sensei sprung to mind, along with her Sensei. They would most likely be able to do what she had done … Of course, she had yet to battle either of them, and did therefore not have an accurate reading of them, but judging from what Sensei was teaching, and the kata she had seen his wife perform, they would be either at her level, or more likely above her. Thinking of Saffron and Herb, she added, "And a couple more that aren't even Martial Artists …"
There was an awkward silence as the two government agents swallowed and digested this information.
"Well …" started Kaji. "Maybe we should get on with the reason I'm here … what do you desire for your reward?"
"I don't need-"
"Don't listen to her!" interrupted Nabiki hastily, having stormed into the room upon hearing what her client was about to say. She got ten percent of any transaction she helped Ranma through, so she wasn't about to let an opportunity like this pass her by. "There are a few things that could be agreed upon!"
Ranma looked at the middle Tendo sister, who did not look her normal self, being ruffled from having just awoken and dressed in a hurry. Her barging in also revealed that she had been dropping eaves on the meeting that was taking place.
"Why don't you go freshen up, Ranma," suggested Nabiki, and pulled the weredinictis in human form to her feet, pushing her towards the bathroom. "I'll handle this."
Normally, Ranma would not dare leaving Nabiki to handle this kind of responsibility, but considering her good behaviour since she picked her up at the airport, Ranma decided to give her one last chance to prove she could trust her. In that capacity, Ranma accepted the urging of her "agent" and went to take a shower.
When Ranma got back from her shower, she found that everyone but her had gathered in the living room with the two men, steaming cups of tea in their hands, as Kaji was reviewing what they had agreed to.
"Let's see if I've gotten it all," he started. "You have asked for a small cash prize, no more than a million yen, but no less than a hundred thousand."
"Right," agreed Nabiki.
"You have asked for a moderately priced piece of land, upon which your … client, can live and do with as she wishes without prior permission or approval of the government."
"Right, but I can't do the choosing of the property for my client," confirmed Nabiki professionally.
"And lastly," continued Kaji. "You have asked that your client be exempt from certain laws … marriage laws in particular, and to narrow it down even further, it increases the number of legal spouses, which will not be limited beyond capacity of support. This is also supposed to be internationally acknowledged and accepted, correct?"
"YES!" erupted Nodoka, waving victory fans in the air and doing a little dance of joy. "GRANDBABIES!"
Ranma was speechless … but Lydia and Beebee were not. They were nearly bouncing in place with excitement, though they gave each other jealous scowls when they caught each other at it, accurately guessing what the other was so happy about. They were not about to share Ranma willingly, but if need be … well, it was unavoidable given Ranma's past history in deciding between fiancées …
"Ah, Ms Koki," exclaimed Kaji happily. "We have come to an agreement, and now all that remains is for you to pick out the property you wish to have … I brought up a map of the available lots of land in the area on my laptop, and limited the choice to those below a certain price limit." The man turned his briefcase around and showed the monitor of a laptop, which had a map of Tokyo and its immediate surroundings covering the entire thing … red dots spread across the map at large intervals. "Don't worry about the cost, this is on the government's tab."
Ranma knew that if she hesitated any longer, Nabiki would choose for her despite what she claimed, so after a moment of thought, she pointed to a red dot in the outskirts of the city, far enough from the centre of it to be able to train in the wild without long journeys to and fro, but close enough to easily acquire parts for her inventions without a similarly long journey.
"An excellent choice, Ms Koki," said Kaji. "A larger piece of land than the others, certainly, but the owners have lately fallen on bad times and have been forced to sell it. Seeing as they have not even set foot there in over a decade it was the logical solution to their money-woes. This is the reason the price is within the agreed limit. The paperwork should normally take months, but as this is a special case, it will be expedited and you will receive your copies by currier in the morning."
"Well, that concludes our business," said Akouda. "We have other duties to take care of at the office … have a good day, and than you for the exquisite tea, misses Koki." This title was directed at Nodoka, who blushed in modesty at the praise as traditional housewives oddly enough tend to do, and accepted the empty cups without question.
"Yes, thank you, and have a good day," added Kaji with a bow.
Though still in a slight daze, Ranma followed the men to the door and bid them farewell.
This property couldn't be all that big, could it? If it was as big as it sounded, the price would have been so exaggerated that even billionaires would think twice before buying it, but this was only expensive enough to keep students from renting it, but cheap enough to fall within the price range Nabiki had talked them into.
It was actually odd that it had not been sold already … certainly, with such a relatively cheap price half the country's population should be battling for the right to buy it … unless it had not been put up for sale before this morning … in that case, had the government anticipated which property she'd choose before she realised she wanted one?
On top of an office building in the centre of Tokyo, a McDonnell Douglas 500N helicopter landed on the VTOL pad built there.
Before the blades even stopped their rotation, the cabin door opened, and a buxom, blonde woman hopped out, holding on to her fedora, and set off for the only door up there.
"Get a hotel for the night, guys!" the blonde called out over the dying motor din. "I'll find you in the morning!"
As she opened the door, she had to slip past several angry men in suits and uniforms that were yelling about them not having gotten permission to land. Ace could handle these guys, and if not, Penny was more than a little persuasive when there was something she wanted … like getting out of a ticket for speeding, or a fine for landing a helicopter on a private pad without prior permission.
In the cockpit, Ace was holding his headset at arms' length, trying to keep the loud Japanese profanities from damaging his hearing.
This place was a dump.
Ranma had decided to inspect the property she had gotten, and managed to sneak away from the others to do so.
Sneaking away went against common sense, granted, but this could not be done with an entourage, as this entourage would take up time commenting, suggesting things or complaining about the state of the property and the distance of the journey to get there.
The moment she had hopped over the tall compound wall of bricks and mortar, she had been assaulted by the sight and smell of garbage.
Covering the grounds close to the outer walls of the property were sacks of garbage, and loose garbage.
Diapers, rotting food, used contraceptives, broken toys, compressed cans or plastic bottles of emptied refreshments, scattered pieces of shattered bottles, even parts of a broken motorcycle had somehow gotten over the ten feet tall wall.
This was, unfortunately, not the biggest problem … significant though it may be judging by the number of rats that scurried away when she landed …
The building, which seemed to have been an Inn of some kind, had started to fall apart.
A section of the roof was sagging under its own weight … several tiles had cracked and fallen apart, leaving dark openings for the elements and beasts to enter through.
The front doors were in no better condition, one barely hanging on by the bottom hinge, and the other having already fallen off.
Several windows had shattered from natural and inflicted damage, and those that remained intact were in a bad need for a wash. For some reason, the storm shutters had been removed, whether by the owner or the scoundrels that had also spray painted colourful slogans and illustrations across the wall was uncertain.
Ranma moved her inspection closer, and found the inside to be as messy as the outside. There were signs of people and animals having lived here, and some had even thrown a wild gathering, if the discarded and ruined containers of beverage and food were anything to go by. In a couple of corners, soiled futons had been left behind, evidence that life may have been started here even if the place was dead … and it also explained why there were used contraceptives thrown around on the grounds.
The structure itself showed strain from water damage, and if left unattended or repaired, the entire thing would collapse on its own in a matter of months. Ranma actually thought it unsafe to enter as it was now.
'Round back, Ranma found what she could only guess was an artificial hot spring.
The grounds for a large part of the back had been made to look like a mountain hot spring, but there was no mountain for over a mile. The water was non-existent in the filthy pools that could fit an elephant each, and the rocks did not look like they belonged … clear give-aways that this was artificial.
The door set into the men's side also gave away the level of authenticity. Inside the door was a machine room with boilers and heaters, as well as pumps. This was obviously where the water was heated, filtered and pumped into the pools, though the machinery looked very old and broken.
Rust was the dominant colour and metal condition.
Ranma knew that this was about the only part of the entire property that was in best shape, and was fixable, unlike the house. It would be far easier to tear down the building and start from scratch than it would be to replace the damaged parts.
Exiting the machine room, Ranma did a quick calculation of the materials and time this task would demand, and came up with a month at the most, a week at the best, so she could count on somewhere in between, depending on how much of a help or hindrance her friends and mother would be in the process.
"Hmmm … wonder where I can get a tent big enough to cover the entire property …"
Said weredinictis jumped in surprise when she was assaulted by four worried women, one of which was her mother.
"Where were you?" asked Nodoka sternly. "You left no note, no message or anything about leaving or when you'd be back!"
"Oh," answered Ranma nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. She would have explained herself if she had not recognised a familiar face. "Hey, Gina! When'd you get here?"
"Just about an hour ago," she chirped, forgetting momentarily to be upset.
"How was your expedition? Did you get that tablet for Madrid and Dao?"
"We saw it, but the guardian removed the entire building to somewhere unknown … we were told to find it and come back later if we really wanted it," sighed Gina. She hated being that close to success, then foiled by some buffoon or event. Well, at least this time she had a chance to try again, unlike other finds that were snatched out from under her nose.
"Stop evading the question!" barked Lydia. If she couldn't be colourful, she could at least be loud. "Tell us where you were!"
"Oh," sighed Ranma, disappointed that they didn't lose track of the question. "I went to have a look at my new property, estimate how much and how long it will take to make it usable …"
"HOW MUCH? HOW LONG?"
"Oh, not much … 'bout five million yen … and a month of labour at the most …" replied Ranma. "That is if you guys try to help yourselves … alone, I'd make it for five hundred-thousand yen and a week of work, if I don't make any clones …"
"How about I just have a couple of SCVs flown in, and then they could to all the work, while we spend some time getting to know each other better," suggested Gina in a purr, her eyes half drooping in a seductive way that has been better known as bedroom-eyes by all who have seen this look immediately after the woman's release.
"Uhm," stuttered Ranma, surprised as the buxom blonde wrapped herself around her, leaving her face mere hairs' widths from hers.
"No!" interrupted Beebee and Lydia simultaneously.
"We'll help," imputed Beebee, grabbing onto one of Gina's arms.
"And we won't be in the way," added Lydia, grabbing hold of the other of Gina's arms.
Together, the two started the delicate task of removing the amorous blonde from their joint love-interest.
Standing a little away, Nodoka sniffed and dabbed away a tear of joy from her eyes. "My daughter is so Manly!" she sniffed happily. Visions of blonde and dark-haired grandbabies started dancing around in her head. A few with red hair joined them, along with some with dark blonde … oh, what a bright future lay ahead …
That night, Ranma got no sleep at all.
It was not because she was excited about getting an impressively large piece of land, paid for by the Emperor … or because the government had known about her curse and had made it possible for her to travel all over the world without worrying about forging a passport, she wasn't certain which of the two was the actual case, but would not worry about it.
It was not because she had been exempted from the laws stating how many spouses she could have … which would surely mean that she would not lose any of her current admirers any time soon. It was in fact quite possible that the number would increase, given her history …
It was not because her bank account was increased a little in size with the donation she was given in reward for apprehending her father … it wasn't all that much compared to what was already in the account after Iwo started bargaining for certain industries to manufacture the Stuff-Space generator in return for royalties and percentages.
No, this was partially because Gina now stayed the night.
It wasn't this fact that was the main reason, but the fact that the women had half-jokingly suggested a slumber party … the suggestion had been well accepted, and Nabiki had run out to rent a few movies that they could enjoy, as well as purchasing low-fat snacks for them to enjoy with the entertainment.
So there they were … six women in their sleep-wear, sitting together on the sofa while watching a movie, the third one so far, that caused their eyes to water, and noses to run. Thankfully, there were no adult movies … given the gender of the crowd, Nabiki might have gotten tempted to get some of the shonen-ai kind … -shudder-
In short, it was a nightmare for a guy stuck in a woman's body …
And to top it all off, they were all sitting on her bed, and holding her in place so she couldn't borrow the other beds.
At the time, a movie about small women was on … only Ranma couldn't see any midgets anywhere in it … if it hadn't been for the wet eyes surrounding her, she would have expressed her displeasure about the false advertising the title of the movie proudly displayed. Where was the action? Where was the mindless explosions and violence? She was a guy, and she expected at least some percentage of every movie she watched to have this, but the most dramatic scene, in her opinion, was when one of the sisters the movie centred around fell through the ice … that was basically it. It was boring. But she would have to admit that it was somewhat amusing when one of them nearly burned off her hair trying to look pretty.
Apart from this small scene, it was torture.
The only thing that kept Ranma going was the knowledge that somewhere out there, someone was in greater misery than her.
On a tropical island in the Pacific, a big event was taking place.
"All right, girls!" announced a cheery, if not too deep feminine voice over the Speaker System scattered all over the resort island. "It's time for our third event of thirty in the Miss Trans Competition! It's the Swimwear modelling! Remember to check everything is in place before taking your places!"
A few cheers rose up in anticipation.
"And our most special guest, the groper himself, will be there to judge!"
The cheers returned, only louder this time. So loud was the cheering that the rasping, mentally tortured screams of the heavily restrained Martial Artist was drowned out.
In an Okonomiyaki restaurant in Hokkaido, a heartbroken scream shocked its neighbours from their dreams.
"You baka duck!" screamed an incensed woman. "I'll have you fixed for putting me this way, I swear it!"
What was talked about would remain a mystery, but the police was called, and after a patrol car stopped by, the screaming ended until morning when the noise would return in the form of a complaining duck and the woman justifying her locking it in a cage.
Had anyone been able to understand duck, they would have heard something along the lines of "CURSE YOU, SAOTOME! BECAUSE OF YOU, I'VE SEEN HELL!"
Somewhere in the Andes, Ryoga sneezed, setting off a minor avalanche that nearly buried the two travellers, but instead pushed them along with the flow.
As he and Akane were swept down the insanely steep mountain side, Ryoga could not help but blame this on the usual culprit of his woes.
"DAMN YOU, RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
In a forest in the outskirts of Atlanta, mid afternoon, the sounds of an excited woman could be heard along with the cheering of a few of her friends.
"Nooo!" screamed a man in horror. "I can't do it any more! I'm getting dehydrated!"
"Silence, husband!" shushed five women at once. "We give you fluids, you won't get dehydrated anytime soon!"
"But this is the third round!" complained the man. "I'm tired!"
"Yes, and you've cost us a lot of money in natural potency remedies to keep it up, but we need to be satisfied before you can rest!" countered the Amazon who happened to be next in line. The few giantesses in the group chuckled at the antics of their smaller allies, but were somewhat disappointed that they hadn't captured a mate for themselves … the man didn't know how lucky he was to have Amazons interested in him, let alone married to him.
Ryan Tabbot regretted ever knowing Ranma, and personally considered the boy to be on the top of his very short "to-kill" list. The list was composed of only one name, so it couldn't really be called a list …
In the past, having half a dozen beautiful women fawn and lust for him was a dream never to be achieved … now, it was a living nightmare. They would not let him rest until he had satisfied them all, and thanks to their numbers, they got easily excited from watching, so he would have to go another round just as soon as he had finished one.
To counter the dreaded deflation of their favourite member, the women, his wives, had to buy a few roots and herbs from the ancient woman named Cologne, mixed together to create a powerful potency drug that could easily outlast the infamous Viagra pill. It was very expensive, and the Amazons suspected the Elder was padding the price a bit to compensate for the money the tribe lost trying to capture Ranma.
Ryan blamed this on only one individual …
"CURSE YOU RANMA!"
In one of the sub-level labs of the junior Diggers' home, Romeo Ellis cowered in a corner, shivering in dread.
This was a worse punishment than anything Gothwrain could think up.
It was worse than weapons-training with Zero.
It was worse than the burning sting to his soul at the touch of silver.
It was worse than the feared Gaze of Doom.
He was trapped in a cell with a fashion freak!
Out in the open, it was all well and good as he had a chance to ignore or escape such talk or demonstrations, and she had other people to talk with about it, but in here, she had nothing to do, and therefore took it upon herself to educate him in the Way of the Stylish.
Having nothing to do himself, Romeo had initially shrugged the idea off as acceptable before giving it much though … better to listen to the woman rant than sitting there staring at a glowing sheet of energy covering the only exit to this cell, the only thing to look forward to apart from eventual release in some form being the next meal.
If only he had known …
He now knew more about fashion and colour coordination than any man ever should … he was feeling too feminine for his own good and there was nothing to do in there to make himself feel more manly, apart from groping the massive globes of flesh that were attached to his cell-mate's chest, and that had been made abundantly clear as a no-no during the first day. He still had the phantom pains of the bruised eye to prove it.
He blamed it all on their elusive target …
"CURSE YOU, WERECAT!" he yelled at the ceiling in frustration, unwittingly mussing up his hair, which Moisha had spent nearly an hour fixing.
This resulted in a cabin-fever enhanced beating for destroying her work. The good news was that he was a wererat, and therefore healed faster than normal men … the bad news was that so was Moisha, and injuries inflicted by magic, silver or other werecreatures took twice as long to heal than it would for normal humans.
In the Kuno mansion in Nerima, Kuno Kodachi was in too foul a mood to sleep.
The family manservant, Sasuke, had informed her of her brother's departure into the world.
She was most surprised to learn that the drugs she had fed him had somehow burned away at the mere sight of the redheaded witch.
Tatewaki was searching for a cure to the hold her beloved Ranma-sama still had over the witch from the grave … it was obvious that it was her beloved Ranma-sama who had been under a spell by the witch, and now she had taken Tatewaki under it as well.
Kodachi would have to find a way to rid her brother of the spell he was under, and destroy the witch in one fell swoop.
But there was only so much she could do … her father had just fled back to the tropical American islands of Hawaii, and taken with him a majority of control over the family fortune, thus limiting her options somewhat.
Now, what was the name of that shop her twit of a brother had bought the phoenix egg in?
Author's Notes; Another chapter reread, and yet again, only cosmetic changes were made, such as exchanging some words for better suited ones and rearranging a few sentences to make more sense.
Translation; VTOL Vertical Take-Off & Landing, I think. "Shonen-ai" is directly translated into "boy love" … 'nuff said … SCV Super Construction Votoms. "Baka" is translated into "idiot" or a "stupid person".