"Do these pants make my ass look big?" Ed twisted and waggled around, attempting, Roy assumed, to get a better look at said ass.

Roy stopped dead. Before, he had assumed that this was a pitfall question with women. Not true. With women, a glib response might work. With Ed, he was doomed. If he said 'no' he would be implying that some part of Ed, and therefore the rest of him, was small. The opposite response would just as quickly earn him a fist to the face. He sighed.

"They look fine, Ed," he said in the carefully crafted tone of an audial eyeroll. "They're just pants. Shiny pants. ...I like the shiny."

"You just like my ass," Ed said.

"True." Roy smirked.

In the end, they were terribly late to the debriefing, but Ed and Roy both agreed that they really liked the new pants.

(A/N: This was written as a sentence-by-sentence by three of my friends and I while at an annoyingly wanky fic reading gathering at SakuraCon. It was much more amusing than Gundam-tastic crap. Credit also goes to friends. )