Five

Denial.

The bar thing was just the product of Cox's drunkenness and JD's sleepiness. When Dr. Cox had showed up at his apartment in the wee hours of the morning, JD hadn't stopped to think. He'd hit on girls that night in his onesie, girls he had no interest in dating, and girls who had no interest in dating him. All the while, Dr. Cox had watched him over each rim of beer, eyes tawny with drink.

"If you don't toss that shot back I'll throw you up on the bar and make you sing the theme song from Endless Love."

The first time he had tried that, it had worked. The second time…

Dr. Cox had thrown him up on the bar, but he hadn't made him sing the theme song from Endless Love.

"Why do you think we're here, J.D?"

"Honest to god, I've got nothing."

It was all lost in a blur of alcohol and noise and the scent of sex and dusty clothes.

In the wee hours of the morning…it hadn't meant a thing.

Anger.

"Buster Brown…"

"Buster Brown."

Dr. Cox was often angry with him, it seemed, and the time in the closet had been the most interesting display of such anger. It probably, J.D reasoned, had something to do with having just found out about he and Jordan's tryst. Still, it was an odd way to react upon finding J.D hiding in the closet, stepping in and locking the door. And pressing him up against the wall, hard. J.D's arms were bruised when Cox was finished, but their lips never touched. After, J.D couldn't decide if he had preferred the time in the bar. Angry Perry Cox was just as sexy as the drunk, desperate one.

So when Dr. Cox pressed his mouth to J.D's neck, the hands J.D brought up to defend himself actually tugged the man closer.

Bargaining.

"So what about this hug thing? Would you like to be standing up, sitting down…?"

Dr. Cox had only done that because he felt guilty. And also, it wasn't exactly J.D's fault, even though this time, he'd been the one to initiate it. In his defense, the doctor had hugged him while J.D was still seated. Legs inched in between his and chest against his in the process. How was he meant to react?

It was just a bargaining tool, something to clear doctor's conscience. With one fine distinction – here Perry gave, and J.D took.

Depression.

J.D had already hooked up at a funeral before, but this time it was different. For an instance, he wondered if Dr. Cox had thought he looked handsome in his black suit with his hair all wet, but the truth was that Dr. Cox hadn't been thinking at all.

A hand on his shoulder after Ben's death had apparently been too much to take.

"Where do you think we are?"

Pressed against the ground and breathing hard, he'd taken in blindness and desperation. It was worth it, J.D thought as the older man rumpled his hair even more. It was worth it to make Dr. Cox feel better, however he could. Even if it involved something…something J.D had told himself they wouldn't do again. But he couldn't hide how much it healed him as well, and Dr. Cox saw it in his eyes as he buttoned up his shirt, and took it to mean they were equal.

Acceptance.

And here, standing outside the hospital in the snow, J.D smiled as Dr. Cox shook some of the stray flakes out of his hair. This time, there was no debt to be paid off, no need to make the air between them heavy. He pulled on the other doctor's scarf, leaning against the warmth of his body against the cold.

"J.D," Perry warned.

"Yes?"

A pause, and a sudden, deep breath in. "Nothing."

Dr. Cox closed his eyes and let J.D place his lips on his mouth, pressing back softly and cautiously as if it was there first kiss.

It was.

Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.

Five.

Author's Note: Edited thanks to a very kind suggestion from 'purerandomness', who could not be more adorable, flattering, and helpful. Whilst making this minor change, I also went through a fixed a few other things. Quick thankyou to everyone who reviewed and enjoyed this, and an insulting hand gesture to the reviewer who suggested the only good part of JD/Cox is the amazingly hot sex. It isn't, you know. smirk