Detective Files Unlimited

Case 1 - An act of God

Author: girl-intrruptd

Disclaimer: I don't own this show

Chapter 1

Huntress stormed down the corridor, passing the weight room, where Booster Gold and Stargirl were working out. She entered The Question's room without knocking and tried to control her fury. As usual, he was typing away on his computer, his back towards the door.

"Yes, Helena?" The Question asked calmly, without turning around to look at her.

"Take your eyes off that monitor this instant and look at me!" Huntress said, losing her grip. Her face was contorted with rage. The Question obeyed and looked blankly at her.

"Would you mind telling me what the problem is? Am I too eager? Too hairy? Not enough meat on my thighs? The fact that I don't believe in the side effects of using Windex?" she stammered, unable to stop the words from coming out.

"Of course not. You and I both know those minor faults can easily be solved," The Question replied, turning back to the computer. Huntress lunged across the room and violently spun him around to face her.

"You know, I can sue you for harassment," he said, though not affected in the least.

"Oh, please, Vic. You trust satellites more than you trust the American Justice System."

"Actually they have the same purpose; Therefore, I hate both of them the same."

"Seriously. Why do you keep standing me up? If there's a problem, you need to tell me," Huntress said, calming down slightly.

"Helena, the government is using tuning forks to control the mind of hobos, and I am the only one who can prevent it," The Question replied, turning around again.

"So if the government is controlling the minds of people who refuse to work, why doesn't the government force them to get jobs?" she muttered, her hands on her hips.

"Because then the government will have an excuse for keeping poor immigrants outside of the country."

Huntress stared at him momentarily before shaking her head in disbelief.

"Alright, it's obvious you're not ready for a relationship. From this day forward we are no longer a couple. Good-bye," Huntress said, turning to leave.

"Where are you going?" The Question asked, without looking at her.

"I have a headache, so I think I'll go punch a few heads in."

"Will you take painkillers?" he inquired.

"The hospital will give them painkillers," she replied, casually.

"Not for them, for you."

"Geez, Mother, I had no idea you cared so much."

"Whatever you do, don't take Slicicol," he warned.

"Why, will the farting side-effect surrender my current position to the NSA?" Huntress said, mocking him. She left without hearing his reply. Goodness, he pissed her off. She walked back to the monitor womb without thinking straight, and stepped into the synthesizer.

"There's a call for you, Master Bruce. It's a man by the name of Henry Bontrada."

Alfred contacted Batman while he was in the Batmobile, and transferred the call from the Manor.

"Thank you, Alfred. Hello?"

"Bruce! How's life, you sly devil, you?" a voice that was anything but surly burst into Batman's ear piece.

"Absolutely the same, Henry," Batman said, casually.

"Knock-out party last week, eh? You should've seen how smashed you were," Henry guffawed.

"It's a shame I don't remember anything."

It had been ginger-ale.

"Ha ha. You're more fun when you're drunk, Bruce. We need to get you in a drinking contest."


"Anyways, I know you're busy ordering people around, so I'll make this quick, ha ha! I was wondering if you'd like to have a meeting with my associates and I…and we would like to discuss a business proposition." Henry's voice did not turn the least bit serious.

"Henry, you know that for any business handling you talk to Mr. Fox," Batman said, politely.

"Yes, I know that. But I think that you'll find personal interest in this proposal. You won't regret coming, Bruce," he insisted. Batman pictured Bontrada in a spa getting his toes massaged.

"Well, I'll have to check my schedule..."

"Right. You might have a date with Charlize or Jessica or Halle," Henry laughed.

"Or all three."

"HA! You sly devil, you. Let me know, ok? I'll be expecting your call." Henry hung up.

"Harder, Lola," he ordered to the woman massaging his toes.

Batman cut the call and sped around the corner towards the entrance of Little Japan.

"Going down?"

Shayera nodded as Vixen stepped into the elevator. Both avoided the other's eye as the metal doors closed.

"John and I broke up."

Shayera's eyes widened. She finally looked at Vixen, who was busy watching the numbers above the doors change as the elevator descended.

"What happened?"

"He's a loser."

"But you already knew that."

"He's been acting differently lately."

Just then, a voice came into Shayera's ear through the comm.-link.

"Shayera. It's Batman. How fast can you get to Gotham?"

To be continued

A/n: Um, yeah…kind of a crappy first chapter. I didn't really reveal much, but I have a good reason for that.

Reviews would be much appreciated!