If I had never been born… Roger would be happy, Mark would be making films instead of dealing with my shit, Benny would be faithful, Collins and Angel would be perfect, and the Catscratch dancers wouldn't be druggies. If I had never been born the world of my friends would be much happier. Mimi thought to herself dejectedly. She watched Roger come into the room and pick up his guitar. He's so happy. I love him. She thought half-heartedly. I wish I could tell him that. Why can't the words "I love you, Roger Davis. You are my life and I'm glad we're together. If I hadn't met you on Christmas Eve I'm not sure I'd be alive today. You complete me and I'm sorry I'm such a bad person. I wish I hadn't done what I had with Benny, but I can't change the past. What's done is done, but, if it makes a difference, you are my everything and Benny was nothing. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you." Holy shit. Did I just say that?
Yup. That was me. Those words were out loud. I'm screwed.
"I love you too, Mimi Marquez," Roger replied. Mimi let out a sigh of relief. A slight moment of ecstasy before Roger continued. "but you broke my heart. I'm not sure I can ever fully forgive you for that. I'm willing to try, because without you I'm nothing. Still, what you did was horrible. It's hard enough that you're a stripper but if you go around sleeping with my ex-roommates it's almost too much to bear. I don't think you're a bad person. At least, I don't think so a lot of the time. I just wish you knew that. I wish you thought more of yourself, because if you did you'd do so much less that you regret."
If I'd never been born…Roger would still be without April, Mark would have shit to deal with for Roger, Angel wouldn't be a woman, and Collins wouldn't have Angel. The dancers at the Catscratch wouldn't have a friend to talk to. The world would be…different.
True, I do bad things, but if I didn't I wouldn't learn. Roger wouldn't have met me and he'd still be in the house all the time. Mark would have to deal with all that from Roger, I don't think anyone deserves more than a year of Roger like that. Angel wouldn't have met me…she would still be a man. Mimi giggled thinking of first really getting Angel into her femininity. They had worked for hours on her makeup, Mimi had taught her the walk. When Angel was ready for the world, they had run through Tompkins Square Park together. If Angel weren't a woman I'm not sure that she and Collins would be such a perfect match. The dancers need a shoulder, I'm happy they trust me like they do. I'm hungry. "Rog?"
"Get your own damn food, woman"
"I love you."
Mimi giggled and jumped on Roger's lap.
"Shit! That was my guitar!"
"Ooooohhhh! I'm sowy! Does it need a kiss?" Mimi gave Roger a pout.
"Fine, but only if you kiss me!"
"What else do I do?" He replied, and kissed her tenderly.