time can't heal
Summary: You can write anything in your LJ. Aki, a son abandoned by his father, decides to write about his parents. He's only 12 and yet he has a lot to say and he'll have more to say when something unexpected happens.
Disclaimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Seed/ Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny or anything related to it is has no ownership of mine.
1 – a glimpse
Aki (fallenchild) wrote,
September 19, 2006 current mood: lethargic current music: none
My Angst For View
For as long as I can remember, I was the only man in my family. Well of course there was my uncle but aside from him I have always put up to the duty to protect my family. My name is Aki. Aki Nara Athha. My uncle, Kira Yamato, lives with us or should I say me and my mom live with him.
I have a blonde mess on my head and people always mistake Kira to be my father, well it's an honest mistake really, he and my mom are twins. You may wonder how can they be twins with different surnames.
You see my grandmother divorced and married this guy named Uzumi Nara Athha when they were young. My grandmother took custody of my mom. I have always seen Kira as my father. I don't call him uncle; I just call him Kira, no special reason really. I live with Kira and my mom in a house that used to be an orphanage. Kira's an engineer and my mom's a waitress. I don't really look like my mom really. Sure, I have her hair, ears and skin tone but there was something else too.
I looked also like my father.
And…honestly, I hate it.
Sure, people say I have striking green eyes that not even the loveliest jade can match or I have such a sculpted nose and a strong jaw line but I hate it.
Why, you may ask?
It really goes way back and I don't really like how the story goes. My father was the reason for my mother's hardship and the reason why my uncle remained a bachelor. He was every reason why I hated him. I was just four when he left me.
I would be skinned alive and dipped into the saltiest ocean than call him father in his face. I will never forgive him for what he did to my mother and for what he did to me.
I was fatherless as far as I'm concerned, he left us and even if he didn't die, he left my mother a widow and me an orphan.
Even if it's been eight years, I could still see the hurt flashing sometimes in the eyes of my mother. Oftentimes, I can't even bring myself to look at her straight in the eyes, because I know what she sees in my eyes.
Aki stared at what he had just typed. After what seemed like a long pause, he clicked on the Update button, and another entry had made it's way to his journal.
His journal was pretty simple; it was a Generator layout with a deep blue scheme. He sighed and decided to take a break from the computer. He logged off after closing some browsers.
He stretched his arms and felt his joints released from the tension of slumping by the computer all day. He got off his chair and headed downstairs. He arrived to the kitchen where his uncle was brewing some coffee. His back was to him. Aki feigned a cough and Kira jolted.
"Aki? Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" Kira asked as he turned off the percolator. His eyes not betraying his young nephew for a second, his hand took the coffee mug he had placed near.
"I could say the same to you." Aki chuckled.
He joined his uncle to the table. Kira was contentedly drinking his russet drink carefully as not to burn his tongue.
Kira was a very attractive man to the opposite sex. Even when he was dressed like a ne'er-do-well, his physical features always made him look good in whatever he wore. Aki, before, was always curious as to why he wasn't married or didn't have a girlfriend until he told him a story that made him shut up.
"So how's school?" Kira inquired before refilling his mug with steamy coffee once more.
Aki smirked. "It's fine. Though I don't really want to talk about it," he then added immediately "not that I have a problem or something" when he saw that inquisitive yet concerned expression flashing in Kira's face.
"Oh, for a moment I thought…well you know me." Kira gave a yawn before gulping down some of his drink. Kira was a first rate worrywart, always putting other people before him.
"So why are you up so late, Kira?" Aki questioned as he took a grape from the fruit bowl and popped it in his mouth.
"I thought that I should wait for your mom, she's working a late shift at the diner again. And I had expected you to have dozed off by now." That explained a lot. Kira naturally cared for his sister.
Aki snorted. "I came down for a glass of water, didn't expect you to be up so late. You should also be in bed. Mom does have her house keys."
Kira yawned. Aki watched him finish off his coffee. Kira glanced at the clock on the wall.
"I might have to wait longer than I thought…Aki, go to bed already otherwise your mom will blame me for letting you stay up late."
"She won't." Aki insisted. "Let me wait with you."
"You still have school tomorrow. So get to bed." It was an order and not a request and Kira had used his stern voice.
"Fine, fine!" Aki grunted, as he stood up and headed out to the staircase. Giving Kira, a goodnight before climbing up.
That night, Aki dreamt of aviatrix and giant robots. But he had weirder dreams than that before. But in this particular dream, he dreamt he was an aviator piloting a product of steel technology of the 1930's. He was zooming through the clouds with his plane.
Making thrilling swirls and loops in the air.
Then out of nowhere, a huge red robot appeared. It had this huge weapon that aimed at his plane. It fired a missile and two but Aki was able to dodge it. Aki flew up higher; the robot pursued him.
Of course it was a dream because for one reason, if this did happen in real life, Aki's plane would've been falling out of the sky by now as a huge fireball. Aki accelerated his speed to the limit but it failed miserably as his enemy was still too close from comfort.
Then the robot's arm reached out to grab his plane. Then a voice…
"Aki, please listen to"—
A white light blinded everything so suddenly.
Then it was over. At least the dream was. He woke up with his messy blonde of hair looking more muddled than usual. He yawned as he reflected on the dream while he still had the chance because he'd often forget about his dreams later on.
"…Maybe I should check about this in the Internet later." He told his self, as he got ready for breakfast.
He was zipping up his pants when he caught himself in the mirror. He stared. He stared at his green eyes. His eyebrows knit together in frustration and a frown placed under his nose
How he hated those eyes. He remembered the entry he made to his LJ just last night and he felt his hands clenched into fists.
Those green eyes…Athrun Zala came to mind. His supposed father, that wretched man who made everything hell for his mother and uncle and to him.
Aki had hid himself behind the couch as his parents had their fight by the foot of the stairs. They were shouting so loud that Aki couldn't make sense of their words.
What was more devastating was that his father had hit his mother. Not just in the cheek, but also in the stomach and he had yanked her hair a lot.
For the first time in his life, he had seen a grown-up cry. At his age, it was normal of him to think of grown-ups as very smart people who could anything that they desired.
At that age, he thought grown-ups were invulnerable. In his state of mind, he thought grown-ups were strong and never cried since he never saw one cry. How wrong he was, when he saw what his father did to his mother.
He had watched at how his mother struggled from her father's abusive ways, he watched horrifically at how his mother climbed the stairs limply all the while crying her heart out.
He heard the door slam upstairs in his parents' bedroom and he heard his mother weep to no end.
His father punched the wall hard. So hard, it bruised and bled. He shouted incoherent words that Aki was always taught were bad words. His father plopped to the couch, his hands over his face, his hands muffling the sounds of his cry.
Aki bravely came out from his hiding place. He gently tugged his father's shirt. His father took his hands off his face.
Aki had never felt more scared in his life. He couldn't sense his kind father anymore. His father's eyes scared him.
Aki quaked, his own little eyes spurting tears. "Daddy… you still love mommy, don't you?"
He didn't get the proper answer he wanted. Aki fell down the floor, crying. His father had pushed him hard. His father that he loved with his heart…had pushed him with his both hands.
His father watched him cry, with a cold and uncaring expression. Aki was so hurt and confused but too be more honest he was more scared than the two. "Mommy!" Aki shouted in horror. "Mommy!" His cries grew louder. His father still just watched him. He wasn't a father but a stranger. "MOMMY!"
No sooner before the fourth cry, his mother rushed to him and carried him in her arms and quickly retreated away to the room again. But while she was still on the steps, she glared at Aki's father. "I hope you rot in hell!"
Then it was over.
The next day, his father was gone. He never saw him again…
Aki remembered the days that followed that terrible night, his mother always cried herself to sleep. It was then he had resolved to hate his father forever. Forever was such a long time to hate someone. But no matter, he decided on it. He would hate that man no matter what.
A/n: Decided to revise this chapter. You're okay with this, right?