This is a fanfic.

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Pre-ramblings: For those who are curious, I was inspired to make this fanfic series after watching a music video of Evangelion by the song of 'Pretty Fly For A White Guy' by Offspring, 'Nuf said.


Shinji Huntin' Season


**Lemon-lime warning!**

Another frigging Eva fanfic by Raiden_X_

For those who haven't realized it by now, the speech patterns are now standardized like this:

"text " = Speech

*text* = Effects

text = Thoughts

^text^ = Whispers

{text } = Telephone or other mechanical communication.

Name: text = Email/Chat room/Whatever

(text ) = Author's additional notes or comments and whatevers

= Flashback enter

= Flashback exit

******** = Something "special"


Chapter 5 - God hates me! (or is it the other way around...?)


[Asuka's Lair]

"............." The red-haired girl was crouching on the floor, wielding an empty pen to prod at a green dyed underwear.

She had already finished dinner with her fellow apartment dwellers, bought a new alarm clock, organized for another slumber party for tomorrow night and the only other thing left to do right now was to sleep. But there is still the issue of what she's going to do with her male roommate's briefs...

Asuka held the piece of cloth up with her pen, examining it with morbid fascination as would a scientist examine an orangutan's excrement sample with a pair of tongs.

I was hoping that I would snatch a more decent apparel than this... She grimaced.

"But then again, I got to make do with what I got." Asuka sighed.


[Asuka's dreamscape]

"Oh yeah!!!" The German pilot was obviously elated at the site of her dream.

Asuka gazed at the sparkling white-sanded beach. The sun was warm and the temperature was just right for sunbathing, and she's the only one there. Soon, she sat down under a beach umbrella and stretched over the towel. She pulled out a sun lotion from her bag and started applying it over her skin.

Suddenly, the mood of the atmosphere changed. Even with sunglasses on, she could feel a shadow on top of her besides that of the large umbrella.

"You do know, that even with that slinky thong bikini you're wearing, it won't give you a perfect tan." The person behind the umbrella spoke with a slight hint of amusement.

"SHINJI YOU HENTAI!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!!!" The Second Child screeched as she pulled another towel to cover her nearly naked figure.

Shinji sat down in front of her.

Asuka's jaw dropped loose. The boy before her was shining like an Adonis. The sun played around his muscles, making it more obvious to anyone that Shinji does have the power to defend himself; a requirement for his current occupation (he hasn't worked out before he became a pilot. And now, he is forced to do some exercises whether he liked it or not).

The girl was mesmerized. She didn't move an inch as the boy came near.

"The small patches of your so-called clothing would still block the sun, making you look as if you were cooked unevenly." He stated as he smoothly pushed her back down on the beach towel and began to remove her bathing suit.

"N-no!" She squeaked in surprise and tried to flee, but the Third Child proved to be quite forceful.

Asuka was pinned down, unable to escape. Shinji grabbed the lotion bottle and started applying it on Ms. Sohryu's skin. He massaged her with the sun lotion as she basked under his amazing ministrations. Her mind wanted to resist, but her body remained passive.

"Wh-What are you doing?!!" She managed to whimper to the young man that was hovering above her.

"I'm helping you get a perfect tan." The boy replied with an honest smile.

Lotion was rubbed against the young Sohryu's chest, his slightly callused palms caressed her ample breasts with the ointment's protective coat. The word 'Rape' came up to to the Second Child's mind; Yet, it doesn't really fit the situation. The pleasures of the flesh and the voice of reason wagged war against each other to gain dominance in her cranium. Her arms wrapped onto Shinji's shoulders, clinging desperately for dear life. The gel is now being applied on her thighs. Asuka moaned louder while the Third Child worked his way up to her nether region. He caressed her crotch as she grazed his back with her nails. Blood trickled down along his spine, but they were obviously enjoying themselves too much to notice. Asuka bit her upper lip as a wave of orgasmic fury hit her quivering flesh.

"Hey! What's this?" Shinji smirked as he removed his soaked wrist from between her thighs.

"I-I...uh...ha..." She huffed and puffed rapidly, her heart was threatening to leap off her bosom.

The young Ikari stood up, gazing down at the naked lady on the beach towel before him. The same serene, honest smile was still evident on his face.

"Maybe, you need something to stop the flow..." He suggested, wickedly.

"......??!!" Her eyes transfixed upon his crotch as he began to remove the green-dyed brief that he was wearing...

*Riiiiiiiiiiing!!! Riiiiii--!!!*


[Asuka's Lair]

*--iiiiing!!! Riiiiiiiiing!!! Riiiiiiiiiiing!!!*

The girl groaned in rage as she smacked her palm on the alarm button, real hard...

"Ow! That stings!" Asuka rubbed her sore hand, cursing to herself for buying another alarm clock.

*Knock, knock!!*

"Asuka? Are you alright?" Shinji inquired. He was passing by at the hallway when he heard her cry loudly (something near 'orgasmic', actually) before her alarm clock went off.

"Shut up, you nosy dummkopf!!! Stop prying into my business!!!" She yelled her frustrations at him out of reflex, throwing a random stuff toy at the door.

"......Anyway, breakfast will be ready shortly..." The sound of his footsteps trailed towards the kitchen.

".................." Sohryu slumped back on her pillow.

She felt damp. Her sheets ARE Very damp.

"Mein Gott! Not again..."

Don't tell me that I'm starting another "boys' underwear" fetish! It was ok then... when I hit this phase about Kaji (and I still haven't quite recovered from being caught 'red-handed', trying to steal his boxers from his laundry...), but SHINJI'S?! That's insane! I do NOT want to get caught like that again! She shivered at the last part of that thought.

She stood up from her dripping wet futon and removed the green underwear that she wore on top of her panties...

~~~5 hours later...


[School swimming pool]

"Hey! Why are there boys on our pool?!" Asuka was really pissed off today, and this new scenario isn't calming her mood down, not by a long shot.

"Their Gym instructor is out for today and next week, Mrs. Yoshida (the girls' P.E. instructor) agreed to combine our classes together for the meantime." Hikari replied, a frown gracing her freckled face.

"This stinks! It's bad enough that they peel our clothes with their eyes from below the basketball court!"

"By the way, Is the party still on?" Sakura, the girl beside Hikari inquired.

"But of course! Can't start disappointing my friends now, won't I? " Asuka answered with great pride.

Excellent! The group of girls that were hanging out with the red-head thought in sync. They all smirked deviously beneath their facade of gentle smiles, praising Asuka. Somewhere in a different universe, Montgomery Burns felt that someone used his "Excellent!" (tm) without his consent. After all, only he could do an excellent "Excellent!".

On the other side of the pool, Shinji was busy watching the clear-blue sky from near the edge of the pool, the volume on his SDAT is set on max. Touji and Kensuke took this rare opportunity of change in Gym schedule to ogle at girls with their scuba diving gear, from underneath the pool. In short, Shinji is a sitting duck. And his specie of sitting ducks are usually the prime targets in these hunting grounds.

He's alone... Mana observed from a north east corner of the pool.

She also noticed that the other girls were ogling at him too. The only thing preventing them to get near the young Ikari was that they wanted to avoid the acid-like criticisms that they might invoke from Shinji's feisty roommate.

I'm not afraid of her! So what if I get ridiculed? At least I'll have the best chance with him if I go now! She surmised.

With great confidence, she swam towards the target. Some of the young ladies noticed her approach, and they tensed up in response.

"Hi, Shinji!" Mana greeted to the somber boy.

"Oh! Uh, hello!" Shinji removed the earphones from his ears.

"Why are cooping yourself over here? Let's swim!" She smiled as she playfully sprinkled water on the young man's face.

"I'm sorry,'t swim..." Shinji replied with his face beat-red in embarrassment.

The water gave a super imposed view of her submerged bosoms, which Shinji seemed to be drawn to.

"No problem! I'll be your sensei!" She winked.

"No, I really can't..." He continued to protest, yet his eyes still wandered over to her 'swimming' assets, no matter how much he wanted to look away.

What's wrong with me? Shinji felt captivated, and that's a bad thing. If the girl before him was Asuka, he'd be at the intensive care in the hospital by now (or be probably proclaimed dead, on the way there... most likely).

"C'mon! It'll be fun!" Mana laughed as she rose up from the pool and dragged him by the arm.

The young ladies, who saw Ms. Kirishma flirt with the taciturn lad, gritted their teeth in rage.

Why, that bitch?!!!


Whore! They swore inwardly.

Asuka wore a blind eye towards the budding couple. For some reason, she didn't want anything to do with Shinji, especially when he's 'putting the moves' on Mana.

That ecchi bastard! She thought.

Soon, the boy was busy trying to keep himself afloat (actually, his motions prove the opposite. The only thing keeping him afloat was survival instinct). His arms were rigid and swaying about in mild panic.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Mana reassured.

"Uh, yeah...*Gulp!*"

He was in a deep (well, not really so deep... he just felt it that way) pool, he doesn't know how to swim, and a beautiful girl (with an awesome rack) was giggling beside him. He would probably scare her off if he drowned while being taught how to swim. Plus, his senses are way past on full-alert mode, making him look like he was high on paranoia-inducing drugs. This situation couldn't possibly get any worse, could it?

Of course it could! I'm the one writing this fic, aren't I?

"Now's our chance!" A boy pointed at Shinji, who was being dragged off slowly by the small waves towards the middle along with Ms. Kirishma.

"Akira! Go for it!" His friend hollered to the guy on the other side.

"Hai!" cried the boy.

After taking a deep breath, he then dived in. Making sure to avoid the underwater stooge duo (which was quite easy, considering that their attention was directed entirely at some babes) with the stealth that would make an elusive virus blush, he made a bee-line towards the Third-Child.

Trashing around like the idiot that Asuka usually berates, Shinji made Mana think that they were actually playing a splashing game.

"Shinji! You big meanie! Hahaha!" She stuck her tongue out at him as she splashed him back. She was having too much fun that she failed to notice his discomfort.

"*Gasp!* Gropleh, sfssglble! *Choke!* H'lph mih, glrk!!!" Shinji gurgled in between waves of chlorine-mixed water.

Suddenly, the boy sank in a blink.

"Shinji?" Kirishma looked around, searching for her reluctant playmate.

"Shinji?!!" She cried again.

Everyone who still doesn't have their eyes fixed on the two before, locked their gazes now at the frightened Mana.

Touji and Kensuke had just returned from their 'deep-pool' diving and noticed the growing commotion. Shinji seemed to be drifting underneath the water. Diving back in, the two saw a guy who was swimming away from the drowning boy. Unfortunately for the 'Idiot Duo', they can't move as fast with their diving gear on.

Shinji-kun! Rei, who was watching the weird spectacle at the benches, stood up and ran towards the pool. She dived in with her usual flawless and graceful maneuver and proceed towards the Third Child like a hot dagger through a slab of butter.

Everyone was stunned to see Ayanami lunge to save the young Ikari. The shock intensified when the crowd realized that Shinji seemed to be missing his swimming trunks. Dragging the unconscious boy towards the pool's eastern side, Rei called for help. Asuka was frozen on her seat. Just when she had decided that she should save the boy who haunts her recent dreams, the freaking doll had to get to him first! She feels confused whether to be thankful or to be spiteful towards the First Child. The young lady then charged towards the circle of students that was helping the 'blue-haired wonder' haul the boy out of the pool, feeling guilty for procrastinating.

What she and everyone else saw made her stunned at the scene.

Rei was giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a 'half' naked Shinji ('half'-meaning that Shinji still had his shirt on, but not his swimming trunks). What's really more surprising was that the young Ikari seemed to carry a very 'masculine' package, the type that 'Art-class' Adult male models (and Kaji) would envy to the core. The others just had their jaws hit the floor.

Some girls jumped in the water to cool down their 'intensely' rising body temperature.

*Splurt!* Cough! Cough!* the victim wheezed as his brain switched on, although momentarily.

The boy woke up to see Ayanami and Kirishma hovering above him, their swimsuit-confined breasts swaying and jumping near his face.

He also saw that Kirishma was a sobbing wreck.

Shinji (with his nose starting to bleed) passed out again as Mana hugged (squeezed) his face into her bosoms in relief.

Rei had to fend off some of the drooling ladies so that she could clear a path to drag the boy towards the Nurses' office. Mana tagged along with the missing swimming trunks (Which Rei forgot because she's in a hurry to drag him off), with tears of joy and relief flowing freely from her blue-green eyes. The other boys didn't help; No males liked to go near naked guys (with the exception of homosexuals and such...), especially outside a public bath. Sohryu sneaked stealthily behind, making sure that they didn't do anything 'wrong' with the 'Baka-Hentai'.


[Nurses' office]

Shinji was hauled into the bed by the two on-duty nurses. Kirishma and Ayanami grabbed a seat to wait for the Third Child's recovery. Everyone in the room knew that the boy lacked some 'cover' for his exposed genitals, yet nobody prompted Ms. Kirishma to return the trunks (I wonder why...).

A very stiff 'hard-on' graced his crotch, a testament that he's probably having wet dreams (or is it just cold in here?). The two nurses watched in awe at the majestic sausage, wondering why their boyfriends have smaller ones...

Asuka fumed, while peeking from the door.

They're all waiting for him to wake up, and they're all (even the nurses) staring at his... 'you-know-what' to pass the time! This is disgusting!

Taking a deep breath, she stepped in to set things right.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE?!!!" Asuka yelled out loud, enough to scare birds from a skyscraper, 5 miles away from the school (let alone the principal).

All except Rei were startled.

"Uh......Hi Asuka! Is...he he...there something wrong?" Mana asked nervously.

"Why didn't you cover his..... thing?" Asuka pointed to the unconscious lad's crotch.

"We,, actually...uh, the thing" Mana and the two nurses fumbled for words, trying to think of an excuse.

"We didn't want to disturb his peaceful slumber." Ayanami declared nonchalantly, eyes still transfixed at Shinji's 'bologna pony'.

"Hahaha! Well, we uh... also didn't want to go near his......" Mana added.

"Mein Gott! You all are such disgusting perverts! Give me that! I'll put it on him myself!" Ms. Sohryu declared and snatched the swimming trunks, obviously not fully realizing what she had just proclaimed.

Once the errors of her words hit, she blushed deeper than Shinji's patented 'blush-shade#34'(the color he always emit during a naked sync test).

"Oh! Great! It's settled then! I have to go back and... er, do some paperwork!" Said Nurse Ann, taking the opportunity to run away.

"Hey! Wait! I'll help ya!" Nurse Nadia ran off too.

Mana scowled at the red-head's blunt remarks. She wanted to do it herself, but she's embarrassed to do it especially with Rei and the nurses where around. Rei remained unfazed by the Second Child. She let the red-head approach the naked boy, yet she can't help thinking-

What will I look at now? I don't have my pocket book with me... Rei thought, now staring at the window.

She told the everyone that she wasn't interested in Shin-chan! What's that stuck-up bitch trying to pull?!!! Mana seethed from her seat.

Now how am I supposed to do this? Ms. Sohryu sweat dropped as she held the garment towards it's owner.

After a few minutes of fumbling and stuff (especially that she has a very big and erect obstacle to cover), Asuka managed to accomplish her small mission.

"Asuka! I came as soon as I-" Unfortunately, Misato had just arrived in time to see the German girl remove her hands from Shinji.

What came next, was an awkward silence....



(Somewhere in between this scene, a tumbleweed managed to infiltrate the room through the window and roll out of the door)



".......................................Don't worry, I didn't see anything." Ms. Katsuragi wisely declared, knowing full well that her female roommate will go ballistic unless treated with extreme caution.

"You better not be spreading this! That also goes for the both of you, Wondergirl and Green-eyes!" Asuka threatened.

*Yawn!* a petite sound came form the patient's bed.

Everyone froze (except for Ayanami, she's been frozen on the spot for quite a while now).

"Familiar ceiling..." the patient whispered softly, his deep blue eyes starting to focus on the first scene of his wake.

Then, Shinji felt very uncomfortable. He felt a thousand eyes glaring at him as if he was a freak in a circus. Sitting up straight, he rubbed his eyes of residual drowsiness. When the blurriness has faded, everything fit into place...

"Whaaaaaaa!!!" The Third Child shrieked utter mortification.

His thought patterns were:

1. I'm in another detergent stinking room; my fourth time in two weeks... maybe more, I lost count.

2. There's Rei, as usual to such cases... she's been there for me all the time. That's very sweet of her...

3. Mana, Asuka and Misato are here also.

4. Why are Asuka, Rei and Mana still in their bathing suits?

5. I think that my shorts are giving me a wedgie...


6. ASUKA IS HERE!!! Did she come here to destroy whatever that is left of me?

7. MANA IS HERE!!! Is this a joke? This can't be real...

8. MISATO IS HERE!!! My injuries can't be that serious, could it?

9. Why are they all red on the face? Did they all get sun burnt?

10. Where's my SDAT when I need it?

"Uh, hi Shin-chan! Had a good rest?" Misato sweatdropped.

"Wha, wha, what's going on? What am I doing here?!" He babbled.

"I'm so sorry Shinji-kun!" Mana broke down again and hugged the young man with all the passion she could muster.

Oh yeah! I forgot! I made a fool out off myself...

"It's ok...I'm the one who should be apologizing... I should have learned to swim before." He consoled the sobbing Kirishma.

*Sniff!* *Sob!*

"Please don't cry! It's really my fault, I'm such an idiot." I can't Handle this! For the love of God, will somebody save me from this?

"Heh! You finally said something right!" Asuka berated, walking away so she could avoid further inquiry upon her motivation for why she's there.

Misato moved towards Rei and whispered.

^Rei! Make sure that Mana never tells him that he got dragged in here without his pants on! I'll go out and make sure that nobody spills the beans either! This will really kill his sync rate if he ever learns of this!^

^Hai.^ The First Child replied with the same volume.


[Outside the cafeteria]

"Hey! Come back here!" Touji and Kensuke were chasing after the perpetrator who caused Shinji to drown rapidly than previously anticipated.

Soon, they cornered him on an alley.

"Ok, punk! Why did you drown Shinji?" Suzahara came forward and lifted Akira by the neck and he was hauled onto a wall.

"*Cough!* Hey, I'm sorry! *Puff!* I didn't mean to *Hack!*, OK?! *Cough, cough!* It was just a prank! He wasn't suppose to *Wheeze!* drown..." the apologetic kid managed to explain without air supply..

"Let's get things straight. NOBODY messes with Ikari. Or else, they have to answer to Us! Right Kensuke?"

"*Huff!* Did you just get me *Wheeze!* into trouble with you?" Kensuke replied nervously, still trying to catch his breath.

"C'mon, Ken! Shinji's your buddy too." Suzahara scolded.

"Fine, but I'll blame you if I'd get cornered like this guy and beaten to a bloody pulp!"

Akira smirked silently as he looked past behind his captors. From the outside the small alley, the captive's co-conspirators are looming towards them. Fortunately for the Hentai duo, the gang got chased away by an angry mob of girls (gee, I wonder why?). Akira's smirk got wiped and was replaced with a look of sheer dread and embarrassment instead. These things happened so fast that Aida and his jock friend failed to notice anything. After slamming the kid on the wall again, the two friends set off to the Nurses' office...

~~~6 hours later...



Shinji felt the same feeling he'd been having for days; the world was watching him, deviously I might add...

Stupid tea, giving me strange side effects! Maybe I should switch to orange juice like Asuka... I'm getting suspicious lately! I got a right mind to sue that tea company for selling those paranoia inducing beverages! Shinji mused, typing away as the sensei droned on something new (it's about time he did!)... about Second impact (figures...).

From the corner of their eyes, they were silently staring at him like he was an attraction in a zoo. Usually, the kids would be restless this time of the day, yet something must've happened to make them clam up so suddenly.

Probably due to the accident I had earlier... I had worse accidents before (believe me, there's tons where Asuka is involved!), it didn't seem to get serious enough to make ALL of them care... Shinji thought.

He tried asking his two comrades back when he was at the nurses' office, yet they could only say what he already knew. Kensuke thought that there was a conspiracy. After a hearty laugh from the Third Child, he dismissed Aida and Suzahara off so he could change to his uniform (and there's also the mystery of why his Swimming trunks are worn backwards...) and get back to class.

Class, however, seemed to be the most awkward place to be right now. He could literally feel the evil-eye gaze of his roommate, and he didn't want to verify it in fear of the resulting "accident(s)" it might promise.

He did notice Rei look back at him whenever he gaze his eyes idly at her. This part is DEFINITELY not normal. The routine was supposedly that Ayanami would keep staring at the stupid window, and he would keep wondering why. Now that Rei has started to reciprocate his stare, he found it most uncomfortable to continue this habit of his. Another problem was Mana, who was seated beside him. She seemed anxious to talk to him, yet she keeps shying away. He also noticed that most of the class was emitting a crimson color on their cheeks.

Why are they all so red? Did everyone get sun burnt as well? Shinji mused as he stealthily glanced around to see deeply blushing faces (especially the ladies in the room).

He shivered suddenly out of unknown causes.

Something bad is gonna happen soon, I could feel it in my blood! Maybe it's because I'm meeting father again later....

~~~Hours later...

It's dismissal time.

Most of the class are preparing to leave for the festival later in the afternoon. Touji got in to be a judge (I know how, but I wonder why...). As always, Hikari hosted the festival (Hmm...). Kensuke was hired to record the events.

Shinji left earlier than previously anticipated.


[School festival]

Mana placed her entry on her designated space. She felt rather uneasy being situated beside Ayanami, who seemed to be quite confident and proud with the 'thing' she baked. There was an awkward silence between them, and neither attempted to cross it. As luck would have it, Touji passed by.

"Have you seen Shinji-kun around?/ Have you any information upon the the whereabouts of Ikari-kun?" both ladies asked him at the same time.

"Huh?" Suzahara finds this rather puzzling, yet interesting...

"Where's Shinji?/Where's Ikari-kun?" They asked again, pretending that the other doesn't exist.

"Oh! Uh, He said that he has other important business to attend to, I'm here to replace him."


"It's the anniversary of his mom's death..."


Then what am I doing here? This is a waste of time... Mana fumed.

If Ikari-kun won't be here, there is no purpose for me to remain here any longer. Perhaps, I should visit him at the cemetery instead... Rei decided as she left without a word.

"Suzahara!!! Get to your post!!!" Hikari hollered from the stage, obviously peeved at Touji doing chatting with another girl.

"I'm goin' already! Quit yelling, alright?!" the jock dutifully obeyed his class rep.

Realizing that Rei had already left, Kirishma ran off too, hoping she could get to Shinji first (and maybe lend a 'shoulder' to cry on *Wink, wink!! Nudge, nudge!!*).


[At the park]

Asuka was out window-shopping and was now resting at the park. She wanted to be at the festival with her best friend, but she didn't want to be in the middle of the growing 'Shinji-fan' battleground. The lady didn't want to be near the 'wimpy dolt' either. She had already prepared for the slumber party tonight so she had plenty of time to kill right now. The only thing left to do is to visit the video rentals. What's a party when you don't have good entertainment of some sort? At least Hikari has a heavily outdated Playstation 2, although there are better versions around the market like PSX-6 and X-Box IV.

Sitting down at a bench with an ice-cream to snack on, she felt like being in a temporary nirvana.

"*Slurp!* Life is good..." She sighed wistfully as she basked in the flavor.

Her good mood had a violent stroke once she saw Shinji pass by around the corner.

"What's that Baka doing here? Isn't he supposedly flirting around with those floozies at school?" She asked none in particular.

She noticed that the gloomy boy was extra-downcast this afternoon, he also carried a music instrument with his right hand.

He didn't learn about the 'accident' now, did he? And why did he bring his cello along with him anyway? Asuka tried to deduce.

Feeling an overwhelming desire to know what's going on, she stood up and investigate...


['Second Impact Memorial Park' cemetery]

"Now, where did that dummkopf ran off to?" Asuka mused.

She was so caught up on trying to follow Shinji as discretely as possible that she didn't realize that she had entered the cemetery until she almost tripped over a tombstone.

Aha! There's he is! Somehow, she felt glad and relieved that she found him. She quickly destroyed that feeling once she realized it.

There was something strange going on. There was someone else beside the Third Child on the mostly barren field.

Why is the commander with him? She thought as she hid behind the nearest tree to eavesdrop from. Soft music soothed her, even in such distance...

~~~somewhere nearby...

"If I were Mrs. Ikari, where would I be buried?" Mana deliberated, trying to find Shinji.

Hmmm... If I would be Shinji's wife, I'd be 'Mana K. Ikari! That would be a such a sweet title! She smiled wistfully as the thought passed her brain.

Searching over the horizon of similar grave marks, she found what she's been looking for. Although, something was amiss. She decided to observe the stranger and the boy from afar. From there, the melody of a sad soul sang it's heart out and it called out to it's audience of the nether realm...

~~~somewhere nearby...

Ikari-kun and the Commander... Rei saw the two Ikaris near the hill top, where the speculated grave of Yui Ikari resides.

Serene, yet sad music spilled across the burial grounds. The music beckoned her to step closer...

~~~At Mrs. Yui Ikari's grave mark...

The sun was at it's cruelest point of the day. Thankfully, it was a blessing instead; as it overided the cold winds. There were trees surrounding the area from the near distance, It's only appropriate due to the fact that, the hallowed grounds were situated within the commercial zone; the trees helped diminish the disrespecting view of cars, establishments and their noises.

The two lone figures are in front of a tombstone of their most beloved. Both knew that beneath the cement and soil, there were no remains... only memories. In Shinji's case, they were fading away. Shinji was sitting on a discarded crate (I don't know where he got it from, it's just there I suppose...) and played "Suiten Fur Violoncello"; hoping that somewhere out there, his mother would be proud that he has accomplished and mastered such a difficult piece, Yui's favorite piece. Gendo smirked at the young man's noble gesture.

Heh! The boy took his mother's sensitivity. Yui... you would have groaned in irony! You thought that he would take after me... perhaps, there might be hope for the last Ikari after all... The grim commander mused.

The melody also revived forgotten memories; both regretful and happy scenes. He savored whatever memory he has recovered while the music lasted. It will probably keep him going sane until the next few months.

Soon, the melody had sang it's final note. Shinji remained silent. He wiped a tear covertly, not wanting to be seen crying by his own father. Shinji may never remember his mother's pretty face, nor her beautiful voice and kind soothing words, but he will always cherish whatever he has left of her, even though they are just mere fragments of the past. The only solid artifact that he could connect to his departed loved one is the old cello. He may not be very talented with music, but as long as nobody ever ordered him to stop, he will keep trying his best.

Mom would have liked that... he would reflect.

Both Ikaris were startled from their reverie when a very faint clapping sound was heard from behind.


The two loners felt a weird sense of 'De-ja vu' with this change of scenario.

Gendo was definitely surprised. But due to his highly trained and jaded demeanor, he only stifled a flinched.

The First Child was evidently impressed by his musical prowess. She gave the same wide smile that Shinji had requested from her, back after the defeat of the 5th Angel.

"Uh... Hi Ayanami-san....." Shinji attempted to initiate a conversation.

"Ikari-kun, I-"

"Rei... It's time for your testing. Let's depart." The older Ikari interrupted.

"................Hai......." She acquiesced. Duty comes first, it's the policy she was brought up to...

"........................................Good-bye, Ayanami-san, Father..." The younger Ikari looked down on the floor in dismay.

Shinji felt slightly betrayed, but he understands her predicament.

The blue haired albino nodded in acknowledgement.

"...............It was a magnificent piece......" Gendo complemented the boy.

The Third Child was taken aback. This is one of those times that you finally get a break, especially when you never seem to do anything right in the eyes of others. Or maybe this is just a bait for a bigger disaster trap? But, Hey! This is Shinji we're talking about! Who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

"Um... Thanks...." Came his reply of gratitude.

"No, Thank you." The older man insisted.

Rei and the older Ikari turned to leave.

The lady however, stood behind for a few moments. After a quick peck on Shinji's right cheek, she left to catch up with the Commander.

The boy was petrified. He watched like a statue as a VTOL aircraft came to pick up the two figures at the horizon. He pressed his hand over the cheek that was bursting in the most embarrassing blush. From out of nowhere, a small stone hit him squarely at the back of the head...

~~~Somewhere nearby...

BAKA-SHINJI!!! Asuka raged on.

As much as she wanted to cause more chaos unto the Third Child, she still had reputations to uphold (like not getting caught stalking a boy into a cemetery for example). As stealthily as she came, she left with twice the speed. Teardrops were evident on her uniform...

~~~Somewhere nearby...

DAMNIT! Rei got to him first?!!! Mana fumed.

Who's that guy anyway? Another Nerv personnel?" She pondered as she watch the aircraft fly away with the the person in question.

She felt that she had already lost. Then a thought hit her.

He's alone now! Get him, you wuss!!! Screamed the voice in her head.

She inhaled deeply as she willed herself to approach the taciturn teen.

After a few confident steps, another person walked up to the boy before her.

she turned around and ran away.

I'm such a loser! She berated herself as she passed by the gate, tears leaking meagerly from the corners of her eyes...

~~~At Mrs. Yui Ikari's grave mark...

Shinji rubbed the lump on his head.

"What...Did someone threw that? It felt familiar somehow..." He peered at the direction of the source of the projectile.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder...

"Excuse me?" A mid-aged man's voice spoke.

Shinji got startled and turned around abruptly, in defense position# 163 (arms covering his head, blocking any assault to the face).

"Whoa, hey kid! I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just here for a business proposition..."


[School festival]

Almost every girl in the festival were angry. Here they were, bringing succulent dishes that they had worked so very hard for, only to find out that their favorite food critic was out, and a glutton replaced him instead.

Touji was having a great time eating home-cooked stuff, he didn't notice that some of those dishes were drugged with viagra and such. Hikari was the only judge who ever gave reasonable scores. Touji kept ranking stuff with a range of 8-10, 8 being too sweet or salty. Soon, the festival was over, and the first place went to someone (nobody seemed to care anymore when Ikari wasn't around).

Touji wasn't feeling very well.

"Suzahara-kun! Are you alright?" Hikari came over to the jock, who was retching on a dumpster.

"..........." The boy was too buzzed out to answer.

"I should help you get back to your place..." Hikari concluded, her cheeks were blushing as the drugs that she had received from the entries flowed freely in her veins. The two left the site.

~~~~Somewhere nearby...

A group of girls were conspiring while retrieving their pots and plates

"...and that's about it." Sakura explained.

"So, what about the 'You-know-what'? Did you guys bought some?" Ruri asked.

"Yup, and I also bought one of those 'thingies' just in case..." Miki replied.

Meimi shifted a bit.

"Are you all sure about this? There's the problem of Asuka and Hikari in the way..."

"Don't worry about that, I made sure Hikari is out of the way! The only obstacle we have left is Asuka. I'll find a way to make her leave, then we can push the plan into action." Kiyomi answered confidently

"Everything's settled then?" Aki inquired.

All nodded in agreement.


['Second Impact Memorial Park' cemetery]

Shinji was playing 'Air' with his trusty cello. The man he met earlier had commissioned him to play something at the eulogy of a newly deceased grandfather. The poor old geezer had been living for more than 93 years. Now, the soul was finally at ease. Shinji envied the dead. They had nothing to worry nor fear about anymore. At least he got 12000 yen for his services. There was supposed to be a band of bagpipe players, but they cancelled at the last minute. The young Ikari became the backup player. After the whole occasion was over, A cemetery manager offered him a job to play some morose music at such scheduled events for the next 4 weeks.

"Why not?" Shinji took the offer, he needed money to buy new SDAT tapes anyway.


[Streets of Tokyo-3]

Shinji was very happy.

He haven't felt this way since... well... never, actually. He must've been happy when his mom was around to cuddle him, but that was a memory long gone. Things might be looking up from now onwards, or so he thinks...

To celebrate his good fortune (and the small fortune he received from other people's misfortune), he bought himself a 'mocha chino' at a nearby cafe.

This'll get me hyper all night! I really deserve this one! He smiled as he let the hot and sweet liquid flow down his throat and give him an added warmth. Winter seemed to be returning for an encore of one of it's sporadic episodes, a little hot cocoa really helped keep the frost away. As the Third Child savored being idle, he reminisced on recent events.

Touji's dubious warning...

"He must've wanted to pull another joke."

That beautiful maiden at the Swimming pool... which he drowned in front off...

"Urk!" He almost choked to death on his hot beverage with that thought.

"I think she only came to me because she pitied my loneliness... at least, I got a new friend..."

The tension-free meeting between his father and he...

"That was... unusual... maybe I should play the cello around him more often?"

That Blue haired albino's sweet little peck at his undeserving cheek...

"...........Rei... will I be able to solve the mystery, that is you?"

He takes another sip.

"Heh!" The young Ikari shrugged.

It's almost late... good thing I won't be cooking today, Asuka ordered some pizzas and party subs... I'll eat the scraps when they're done.

~~~~An hour later...


[Misato's apartment]

The apartment was filled with j-pop music. Asuka's 'friends' had just arrived 30 minutes earlier. Maj. Katsuragi was still at Nerv Hq, she had already informed her roommates yesterday that she will most likely return tomorrow due to the heavy load of papers she has to tackle. Everyone was lounging around in the living room eating some candies and playing with the Major's pet penguin (who looks like a poster-penguin for an abused and overly-pinched-and-pulled mascot).

Hikari called in to say that she won't be coming to the party. Sohryu was very upset.

"Why?" She argued on her cell phone.

{I'm busy... um... helping ... Suzahara with er... something...} Ms. Horaki explained.

"You're with that jock?" the red head felt betrayed.

{I'm so sorry... but, I really got to go! He's going to pass out anytime soon...Hey! Touji! Not so rough!-} And the phone hanged up suddenly.

"Well? Is she coming?" Sakura asked ever-so 'innocently'.

"No..." What the hell was she doing with that ecchi? Asuka brooded over her brain.

"That's a shame..." the other girl replied.


After a bit of silence, Miki bravely asked a question.

"What about Ikari? Will he be here today?" Everyone except Asuka hoped that he is going home tonight.

"Unfortunately, yes. But I made sure he'd be locked up in his room. We'll have the TV all to ourselves!" The Second Child beamed.

"When will he arrive?"

Asuka furrowed a brow at this question.

Why is she concerned about that Hentai? She asked herself.

"The Dummkopf will be home in a minute or so..."

Perfect! Sakura thought deviously.

Kiyomi, switched on the TV.

"Uh... There's nothing good in TV lately..." She stated to nobody in particular.

"Do you have any videos?" Sakura inquired.

"......unfortunately, no." Asuka confessed.

Now that's what I forgot to do! Baka Shinji! I was supposed to visit the Video rentals before I got back home! Now, this party is going to be lame... I got to do something before they start gossiping in school about this!

"I know! I'll go out to rent some movies!" the red haired girl proclaimed, trying to diminish her tone of uncertainty.

"Oh, you don't have to do that..." Meimi cooed to her host with false modesty.

"Nah, It's alright. The store is not that far anyway...Hehehe!" Sohryu reassured, running back to her room to change her clothes.

Soon, Asuka left the apartment, leaving Penpen to baby-sit those six beautiful ladies...


Shinji was practically skipping towards the apartment building. He thought that the bad luck he had, which started during gym class, was going to ride his ass and last the whole day. Even his own father's presence didn't damper anyone's mood (Yes! It's a miracle!). Something still bugs him though...

He arrived at the elevator with his cello at hand, only to find that the elevator had just left and was already heading upwards to the top floors.

"Heh!" He chuckled.

"That's life, I suppose..." He sighed without a care...

Since he felt like a million bucks today, he felt like taking the stairs instead. This strategic move allowed him to savor the calm air that he oh-so-deeply deserved, which he also feared that would probably be distorted once he arrive at the apartment, where a red-haired typhoon resides. But, then again, he was to happy to walk. The Third Child ran up the flights of stairs like there was a rabbit to chase. Soon after, the boy arrived at the front door of Misato's apartment...


[Misato's apartment]

Aki was peeking at the eye-piece at the door. They had changed their dress code from pajamas into something more erotic...

"He's here!" She hollered to the others.

"Let's go! Move it!" Sakura ordered.

All six girls left Penpen in the living room and dashed towards 'Shin-chan's lovely suite'

"Wark! (good riddance!)" It uttered in relief. He's kind of jaded, being poked, pinched, tossed and toyed around by girls all day.


Author's super-special whatever!


He-he-he! I'm a real bastard, I know. If you've been reading my song-fics, you'd probably know that this segment is cut off to be separated as a side-'song-fic' or some shit...

Heh! *Smirks!* What are you gonna do about? 'Flame' me? It's my fic, not yours.

It's not really that bad... but whether you like it or not, you can only read the events designated for this space only at my side-'song-fic': "I smell Sex and Candy here..."

You like that title, don't ya? *Wink, wink!*



[Streets of Tokyo-3]

Asuka was striding back towards the apartment as fast as she could. She felt lucky that she got the last copy of "I Want To Be Your Canary!" (If you have played Final Fantasy 9, this would be very familiar to ya); the hottest new movie right now. She also grabbed some other romance films, just in case. The young Sohryu also happened to pass by Rei at the video store. Asuka saw that the blue haired girl was returning some porn and cooking films.

I always knew that Wondergirl was a closet freak! I got to keep an eye on her when we change our clothes at the lockers... she might pull something perverted! she mused to herself, grimacing on the possible outcomes.

And that thought linked to a different subject.

I hope Shinji hasn't arrive yet. I have to make sure he doesn't embarrass me in front of my guests! Asuka thought as she entered the building...


End of crappy chapter 5

Next chapter 6 - It's time to duel!!!(Bring it on!!!)

Author's Jibah-jabah 3/10/02:

I don't have an omake on this episode, but you might as well consider "I smell Sex and Candy here..." as one. As usual, I'm so sorry about the delay. I got hooked up on Chrono Cross and Final Fantasy IX, which I used to evade writing my Term paper for English class (resulting in a bad grade...), I'm supposed to be done with my note cards and my outline, and my teacher's been bitchin at me to finish them. Maybe I should change my nickname as "The Ultimate Procrastinator"? Nah... I already have a stupid one. If you think that there will be a flood of my new chapters coming, then you're dreaming. I can't write that fast... I even type with only two fingers! I also have a hard time thinking up stuff into my chapters to make them worthwhile... I'm such a whiner. *sigh!* If you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work now...

----------standard crap------------------

I'm sorry if there are any grammatical or spelling errors (I'm always on a rush to finish things, you see?), I'm real flunky when it comes to grammar. I'm not really a writer but I'm the kind of guy that likes to draw. Sometimes you can't draw something but you can do it in writing (only that it's really hard to picture stuff with words), that's why I started writing these pathetic excuses for fun.

Please send any comments or suggestions at

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See ya!