Title: Taxes

Rating: PG

Summery: Gaara pops the question, and the question is quite surprising.

Disclaimer: Now Really

Quote: What were you doing down by the river! Fondling her yum-yums! BUNDLING HER CUPCAKES! -- Mochon (FLCL)

A/N: My editor didn't see or approve this, so don't be surprised if this last chapter sucks.


Horror. Pure unadulterate horror. Shock, confusion, and horror. He felt like bursting into tears.

Kankuro stared at his younger brother. Gaara was just standing there with his teddy, looking up at the older boy.

"W-what did you just say?" Kankuro managed to stutter out.

The red head looked up innocently and Kankuro and the older boy suppressed a shudder of revulsion. How can something that looks so cute be so evil.

"Where do babies come from?" Gaara said again, just as easily as the first time. Then he stuck his thumb in his mouth.

For a few sick moments Kankuro entertained the idea of telling the young boy to go ask father. But then he came to his senses and realized that he would eventually get in trouble for it. "Follow me." He said, grabbing his brother's arm. The older boy dragged his little boy around by his hand until they had reached Temari's room. Kankuro knocked urgently on the door.

"I'm coming, geez!" Temari yelled from the other side of the door. She opened the door and scowled out at her younger brothers. "What do you want?"

"Gaara has a question for you." Kankuro said pushing the younger boy forward.

"What is it?" She demanded, pretending that he didn't scare her.

"Where do babies come from?" The youngest asked. Temari's eyes widened for a split second.

"What do ya' want to know that for?" She asked.

Gaara shrugged. "At school, Junichi-san was talking about how he's going to have a new baby at his house and I wanted to know where the baby would come from."

"Oh, well, you know they teach you about it in school, when you're older." Temari said. Gaara scowled.

"I want to know now." He insisted. Temari swallowed rather forcefully at this. Kankuro sniggered at her.

"O.K." she muttered quietly. She opened her door wider. "Come in." Gaara walked into his sister's room calmly, but when Kankuro tried to follow he found the door slammed in his face.

"Hey!" The boy yelled, he banged on the door.

"Go away." Temari yelled from the other side.

"Humph." Kankuro crossed his arms over his chest and stalked off.


Temari led Gaara over to her bed and sat down on it. "Get up here." She ordered. The small boy climbed up onto the bed and sat there with his teddy. "What is it exactly that you want to know?"

"Where do babies come from?" Gaara asked for the fourth time that day, he was really getting tired of this.

"They come from Finland." Temari said. Gaara looked confused.

"Where's Finland?" He asked.

"Um... sort of northwest of here." Temari said.

"How do they get to Suna?" The boy asked.

"The stork brings them." Temari said. "He takes all the babies to the hospital and gives them to the nursery."

"But Father said that I killed mother when I was born." Gaara said.

Temari had to think about that one. "Well, you see, when the stork brought you he accidently landed on your mother."

"He landed on my mother?"

"Yes. He's quite large you see." Temari assured him.

"So he squashed her?"

"Yes, but quite by accident."

"I'll kill him." Gaara said quite calmly. His sand flared up around him.

"But if you kill him there won't be any more babies." His older sister waved away the sand.

Gaara said nothing but he pulled his sand back into it's gourd. "Let me get this straight. The stork takes all the babies from Finland and brings them to the hospital. And he squashed my mother."

"That's right." Temari said.

"O.K." He jumped off of her bed. "Goodbye then." And he left.

"Well that was strangely easy." Temari muttered.


Thirteen Years Later

Gaara was quite in awe. He had a wife. It was a bit overwhelming. The strangest part of it was that he was deadly frightened of her. He Shock Wave was very painful if it hit the right spot.

The two of them were at the moment preparing for their first night as husband and wife. Gaara entered the bed room to find her brushing her long purple hair. She noticed the movement and looked up at him. He realized he must've been frowning because she was looking at him strangely.

"What's wrong with you?" She demanded.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked quietly.

"Hurry up then."

"Where do babies come from?" He asked.

She turned around sharply. "Are we really having this discussion?"


"You don't know where babies come from?"

"Well, Temari told me when I was younger, but I don't think she was being completely truthful."

"Where do you think they come from, Gaara." The red head flinched. For some reason he got the felling that this discussion was annoying her.

"Finland?" He said uncertainly.

"My God Gaara!" She exclaimed. "Get over here and sit down you poor man."

He sheepishly walked over to the bed and sat down. His wife took his hands. "You do know about sex don't you?"

"Of course, I'm Naruto's best friend!" Gaara said.

"Good, at least you're not a complete idiot." He bristled at this but said nothing. "It all starts when a man and a woman want to have a baby..."


30 minutes later

Gaara was very embarrassed for not having known this. His tomato red face showed that.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" His wife asked. She had gone into a very detailed description of everything that happened before a baby could be born. And then she had also gone into the birthing process as well. The Kazekage felt a bit queasy.

He nodded.

"Alright, time for bed. And don't bother wearing anything." She got up patted his knee and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

I think that Temari and I need to have a nice long talk.


All done.

I'd like to thank KonKon-Chan for this idea.

Thank you to all my reviewers. You all rock!