A/N: Ok if ur looking for an action packed fic..then i suggest u click back, cuz this is one hell of a hopeless romantic fic. hehe. See i was looking around the other day for a nice Clotif fic, but couldn't find a decent one. or the ones that were good, i already read lol. So, i said "Heck," theres no more lol. I've read all the good ones, so i thought, ah what the heck, I'll just write one. lol. it's not like I hav anything to do, granted two weeks of easter hoildays from school. yay! so here it is.. enjoy and Happy Easter!
His eyes lowered as he stepped up onto the steps of Seventh Heaven. It was always around winter that he found himself at this door step. It wasn't the cold air that made him do this, but the fact that he would get to see her again. Every so often he would make it a point to come back home, to see his little family. To have a clean update on things around Midgar just so that he can pick up and leave again.
He entered the house with the key in his hand and quietly shut the door behind him. It was still morning and they must all have still been asleep. It wouldn't be long before Marlene comes running down and Denzel close behind her. They would always smile at him but quietly give him slight remarks on his fast disappearance the last time when he left unexpectedly.
'You don't care much do you?' Denzel asked him occasionally whenever he'd return to Seventh Heaven. Those words haunted his mind like the shrill voice of Marlene's when she greets him. What exactly did the boy mean anyway?
You don't care much do you? Care for what?
They didn't haunt him as much as her face. Her smile, her eyes. They continuously radiated in his mind. Almost like a tape recording gone wrong. It was when he rode his Fenrir that her face would appear in his mind. Then just as he fixes his mind onto his thoughts, it'd fade away. Just like it did in his dreams. When he reached for her, she'd turn and walk away.
His arms loosened with the sudden warmth of the house. The door was long shut and the cool air finding no way to escape but to blend with the heat around him. Tifa must have left the fire running in the chimney. The chimney that they built together a while ago. Not too long after the defeat of Kadaj, he stayed for a while with them to get things back together. Then not to long later, it was back on the road again. There was no good bye to that ending, only a beginning. He placed his keys onto the bar table and looked up the steps. If he walked them would it creek? What if Marlene heard and screamed like she usually did when she saw him? He wasn't exactly ready to face the children just yet. The last time he left wasn't exactly pleasant. It had left him distraught after the argument he had with Denzel. It seemed that the boy grew more and more distant each time he left.
The steps to the top were short and surprisingly quiet as he walked them. His eyes stopped at Tifa's slightly open door and he stood there. A strenuous line of questions entered his mind as he stared at the door. Why was the door open? Was she even asleep? What would she say after seeing him back again? Would she tell him off for arguing with Denzel and leaving like that?
He lowered his head and took a step. His eyes peeked through the crack of the door and he saw her there. She was on the bed with her back to him. The soft noises of her sobbing made him shrink further into his hole of pain. He reached forward but lowered his hand as if defeated. What could he do? Why was she crying?
His blue eyes were drained of colour as he continued watching her sob. He turned away and had his back to the door now. The drip of water touched the surface of the floor as he stared blankly through the hallway. His tears they dripped down his face and onto his clothes, his shoes, the floor.
"Cloud where are you?" he spun around and saw her and her hopeless sobs. His heart burned at the very words that escaped her lips. Cloud where are you?
So it was him, the one who was making her cry. It was him who made her cry so painfully and heart wrenchingly. It was him who caused her pain, who was the very core of her broken heart.
It was him, always him.
He drew back away from the door and walked to his room as if defeated. He left the door open, but stood at the window and overlooked the city. The tears never left his face as he continued to stare.
This was it, he would tell her. Just how much he felt, how he wanted to do so much. How he wanted to build a life with her and be with her as more than just a friend. Those days of being best friends were no longer, because he wanted more. But what would she say? Rejection, it haunted him just as much as Denzel's words.
"Cloud you're home," Denzel said softly as he entered the room.
Cloud wiped his tears away before spinning around and greeting the boy.
"You left pretty abruptly last time," the boy stated disgustingly.
'I know, I didn't mean too.'
"Sorry," he told the child.
"Sorry doesn't heal peoples hearts Cloud," the boy looked up at him, "Her heart breaks every day, you really don't care much do you?" he shook his head and walked out of the room.
'I do care, just I don't know how to express it.'
He stared blankly out at the city, for so long that he now smelt the smell of Tifa's fresh cooked breakfast. He smiled and noticed that Tifa's door was now fully open and so was Marlene's.
"I had the best dream ever, I was in this beautiful garden with so many trees, then there was this-" he heard Marlene giggling away at her own words.
"Hi," he said as he entered the kitchen.
Tifa spun around with wide eyes. "Cloud," she gasped. "When did you get in?" she asked.
"This morning," he answered and sat down on the stool beside Denzel and Marlene.
"Oh, okay," she smiled. "Here I'm sure there's some for you too. Sorry I just didn't think you were coming," he swore he saw a blush forming on her cheeks.
He nodded, "Thank you."
Marlene was quiet this time around, she gave the blonde a smile and left upstairs with Denzel close behind. There was no hug or proper greet, just a smile and a nod. It was then that his heart broke, if no one here would accept him what more was there in life anymore? Would Tifa still accept him?
"You okay?" her soft voice startled him from his thoughts.
He nodded. "Yeah," he answered.
"Don't worry about the kids," she answered his thoughts. "They're just a bit angry at you, that's all."
"Oh," he gasped quietly. "They are?"
"I don't know why actually," she laughed and placed the pan into the sink. "I'll talk to them if you want," she walked to the steps and sent him a smile before walking up the steps.
He looked down at the food on his plate. Then looked back up again, "Where do I belong?" he asked and pushed the plate further into the table. He stood up and reached forward for a paper and a pen. Once he finished, he left the note on his plate and walked.
"Cloud I still don't know why the kids are-" she paused when she saw the paper on the plate.
The kids they do not
want me anymore and I do not think that they are wrong with thinking
that. I know I cause you pain and I want it to stop now, so I'm
going. Some place where I belong, I don't know where exactly but
when I find it, I'll call you and let you know.
Don't worry for me Tifa, you've had enough of worrying. Just smile for me okay?
She looked up at the door which was just barely open from the rush he took when he left. She dropped the piece of paper and walked to the door. She touched the knob of the door and shut it. Her forehead found its way to rest on the door as she let her tears fall again. He didn't see her crying this morning right?
"Why do you do this everytime?" she said loudly as the bottom of her fist met the door with a sound.
"Why Cloud?" she wept, "I love you so much," she broke down to the very last inch of her broken heart. She sobbed quietly.
It wasn't until she felt a presence behind her that she held her tears. "Just leave me alone Denzel," she mumbled. When the Denzel didn't answer she wiped her tears away and let the knob go. She stood back for a moment before turning around.
"Tifa," his eyes softened as he stared at her.
She stared with horror as she held her mouth slightly open with shock. "Just leave Cloud, that's what you want to do right? Leave."
He kept his eyes watered as he watched her staring coldly at him.
"Go Cloud," her voice broke as a sob escaped her lips. "Just go," she whispered as she sank onto the floor. "Just go."
He shook his head, "No." He took a step to her and kneeled down in front of her. "I won't leave Tifa," he replied.
"Go find where you belong," she pushed him away. "You don't belong here right? Isn't that what you implied in the note?" she looked up at him.
He reached his hand forward and wiped the tears from her eyes. Though she struggled the door behind her didn't help.
"Did you mean what you said?" he asked softly.
She winced at his touch and drew back away. His hands sat wearily at either side of him as he stared at her.
"What I said what?" she asked angrily.
"That you love me," he answered calmly.
Her eyes softened as she turned away from him and closed her eyes. "I meant every word I said Cloud," she said sternly.
He searched through his pockets and drew out his phone. He dialed the familiar number and the phone in the house rang. He placed the phone to his ear and waited.
The ringing stopped, "Hello," they heard Denzel answering the phone.
Tifa spun her eyes and watched Cloud.
"Denzel it's me Cloud."
'What are you doing?' Denzel asked.
He fixed his eyes onto Tifa and said, "I've found where I belong. Would you let Tifa know," he hung up.
He watched her wearily and took her hand, he smiled a small smile. He laced his fingers through hers which she didn't resist to but she didn't smile, just watched.
"Tifa," he began. "You're beautiful, you know that?" he blushed as he confessed.
He pressed a finger at her lips as he continued, "When you sleep at night you're beautiful, and when you greet me in the morning with that smile. I've watched you when we stood in battles, you were always there beside me," he said softly. "And I never thanked you for saving me so many times."
He drew his finger away and traced them down her cheek and cupped it. His thumb wiped away the remaining water that was on her face and he smiled again. "I won't leave now even if you ask me too," he added.
"Then don't," new tears emerged from her eyes as she unlaced her hand from his and pulled him closer by his shirt. "Don't go," she choked out in his chest. "Just stay."
He held her close and stroked her soft brown hair. He could feel her tears seeping through his shirt and to his bare chest. Just how much tears had she kept inside? He pulled her shoulders back as she was swept away from his chest. She stared at him wearily as she wiped her tears away. He touched her cheek again and lowered down. It was the first time their lips touched.
"I Love you too Tifa," he said softly when their lips were only a centimeter away. "I always have."
:) liked it? well it ain't the end, i got one more chapter and then it's the end..hehe.. heres a poem that goes with the story , i wrote:
It was him who
It was him, always him
His eyes they
His eyes, always his eyes
The heart in his
It beat steadily
It counted regularly
That heart, always that heart
Red rosy lips
The ones he'd stare at
The one he'd wish to kiss
Those red rosy lips
It was her, it was
His best friend
Tifa, always Tifa