Title: Go Tell Mom.

Summary: Knowing her kids whatever they'd been up to was probably going to include a trip to the infirmary.

Pairings Shep/Weir (this is me after all), but they aren't the focus - hell John doesn't even make an appearance, he gets a mention but that's it.

Spoilers: None.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is not mine. Only the story line and any made up characters that may appear in the story belong to me.

A/N: This quick little one shot was inspired by part of an act called 'Big Family Stuff' done by one of the best comedians around, Brian Regan. If you've heard his stuff before you'll probably recognize what part inspired this story, if you haven't (where have you been hiding) you should go check out his stuff, it's funny as hell.


"Some one should probably go tell mom." Twelve year old Jace Sheppard spoke up as he looked down at his ten year old brother Matt, lying on the ground holding his arm - the kid was in obvious pain.

"You go tell mom, you're the one who tackled him." Jace's twin brother, Chris countered.

"No way I went last time." And boy had that been an experience to remember. Jace still cringed just thinking about it. Who would've though his mom could get so worked up over a few bumps, bruises and fractured bones; it wasn't like they had planed on the tree house collapsing. They hadn't been allowed back to the mainland - let alone out of their rooms - for over a month. "Besides it was your brilliant idea to play football inside."

"It's raining outside what were we supposed to do?"

"You could have at least found a place without any staircases." Although Jace had to admit it had been pretty cool to watch his younger brother flipping through the air, right up until he hit the ground of course. After that it had been nothing but panicking over who was going to tell their mom.

The two continued to argue over who was going to tell their mom for several more minutes before they as one - doing the freaky twin thing as Rodney liked to call it - turned to look at James, the youngest of the four Sheppard boys.

Looking like a deer caught in the headlights James started to back away from his older brothers. "No way! I'm not gonna be the one who tells mom."

"C'mon James it's time you took one for the team." Chris gently be forcibly placed his hands on his brother's shoulders turning him in the direction of the nearest transporter.

"Yeah James, you're eight years old, that's plenty old enough to be the one who runs point man." Jace pushed James into the transporter. "Just think of it like taking off a band-aid, the quicker you do it the less it hurts. Me and Chris will be right behind you with Matt."

Knowing he was defeated James hit the spot on the map that would take him to the control room. Wanting to get his job done and over with, James broke out into a run as soon as he got off the transporter and headed straight for his mom's office.

Hearing the sound of running feet Elizabeth looked up from the report in front of her just in time to see her youngest son enter the control room at a dead run, cross the catwalk into her office, and come to a skidding halt. She could tell instantly that something was up and she had no doubt that it involved all four of her boys. And knowing her kids whatever they'd been up to was probably going to include a trip to the infirmary. Her boys got to be more and more like John every day; they practically spent as much time in the infirmary as their dad did.

Taking a moment James bent over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath enough to talk. "Uh...ok...uh...yeah everything's fine..." Yeah he knew his mom didn't buy that, but it was a place to start. "Everything's fine I just wanted to run in here at full speed and, uh you know say hi and uh...and uh okay so...oh you know Matt...?" Elizabeth nodded, waiting for James to get to the point.

"Right of course you do. Kay well you know how his right arm usually bends like this," He bent his arm, to show his mom what he was talking about. "Okay it's not bending like that right now. But it's not a big deal cause we - Jace, Chris and me - we already looked at it and stuff, but we were thinking that since your were going to go visit dad in the infirmary...you know since he got hurt off world and is there now...anyway since you're going there we were think that...that maybe you might want to take Matt with you...you know since you're going there anyway."

Sighing Elizabeth rose from her seat and headed for the door with James following behind. After getting directions to where he other three wayward boys were at she called Carson over the radio asking him to meet her. Acknowledging Elizabeth's call Carson shook his head as he glanced over at John's bed; if he didn't know any better Carson would have sworn John had found a way to clone himself; everything from his trouble magnet tendencies to that unruly hair of his.

There could be no doubt in anyone's mind that those four boys were John's kids through and through.