Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/n: Well. I have no idea where this came from. It just…popped into my head. And yes, I do have a fascination with italics and dot dot dots.

I would definitely have to say this is one of the hottest kisses I've written, and I think I did fairly well…god knows I've read enough subject material…

All of this started with Lily.

All of it.

It's all Lily's fault.

…Actually, fault's a fairly harsh word. More like it's all thanks to Lily.

…And it's not like she put a wand to my head and forced me to kiss Sir—but I'm getting ahead of myself.

'All of this started with Lily' might be the better phrase.

I was just sitting there, on a calm Saturday morning, doing my homework in the Great Hall. Lily was sitting right next to me, seeing as the assignment wasn't due for a week, and so James, Sirius, and Peter wouldn't start it for another…six and a half days.

Somewhere in the middle of my written explanation on why Switching Spells are dead useful, or something like that, Sirius crossed my line of vision, for some reason wearing my trousers. I could tell, because they were a tad too tight for him across the…ehm…bottom area. Frowning in slight puzzlement, I turned around again to see Lily eyeing me with interest.

"Were you checking Sirius out?" she asked, looking strangely…eager.

"Um…no." I stared at her. "Why would I?" She waved a hand.

"You being gay and all."

"…. Excuse me?" She instantly clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Oh dear, you still haven't figured it out? I mean, just forget I said anything, Remus. Really. Never mind." She went back to her essay after throwing me a few shifty looks.

Now, as I'm sure you can imagine, I was confused, to say the least. Not that Lily made sense to me all the time. She is a girl. But this…

So I did what all of us do when the redhead manages to shoot something right over our heads…I went to the guy who knew her like the back of his hand, all times of the month.

James Potter.

James was sitting about six tables away, writing up some Quidditch drills. At least, I'm guessing that's what he was supposed to be doing, but he was looking over at Lily and waving much more that writing anything.

I dropped my bags on his desk.

"James, your girlfriend's a nutcase."

"Yeah, I know," he said absently, grinning cheekily over at Lily, who blew him a kiss and winked. He broke away from her. "What'd she do to you?"

"Apparently…" I began, not too eager to tell him that his girlfriend thought I walked the other side of the street. "Apparently I'm supposed to be gay or something."

I'm not too sure what I expected his reaction to be. Maybe a, "why, that's ridiculous!", or a "…right," or maybe even a, "Whatever."

What I didn't expect was for him to slap his forehead and mutter, "Bloody hell, she wasn't supposed to tell you until you figured it out!" He pulled his hand away and looked at me earnestly. "Look, Moony, I know this is a shock, but you're notorious for being oblivious about things that concern you, so just trust me on this one, okay? You are gay, and you do like Padfoot."

"…What?"

"Oh dang, hadn't she got that far yet? Never mind." And he left, making an escape oddly reminiscent to that of his girlfriend's.

So I sat there for somewhere around ten minutes, hoping that this was all a very crazy chocolate induced dream. Or maybe all my friends had gone insane and I was the only normal one left.

But no, I'm cursed with intelligence, so I had to sit there analyzing what they said, recalling any instances that might have caused them to think I was gay, and I came to the conclusion that they were abso-bloody-lutely right.

I really did like Sirius. I mean, I knew what he liked and disliked down to a tee, made sure never to talk to him about one of his dislikes (like basically his entire family. We just pretended they didn't exist. Like the stork delivered him, or something), knew what he smelled like, what kind of cologne and shampoo he used, and if he ever ran out of one I just about had a heart attack until he got some more. I had started hanging out in the dorms at right about the time when he took a shower, so I could catch a glimpse of some skin, and…god. My life was so screwed up.

So while I was working myself up to a frenzy, I didn't notice that Sirius was in front of me until he laid a hand on my shoulder. At which point I immediately jumped and yelled (only slightly hysterically), "Did you know about this too?"

He looked rather concerned (and a bit frightened). "Um…no?"

I had calmed down a bit and realized that telling him what had happened would only succeed in embarrassing me further, so I gestured and said rather lamely, "Eh…Lily and James…"

"Oh…did they talk to you too?"

We stared at each other for several seconds, neither one of us making a move forward, until I heard someone groan in the distance and felt a hand slap the back of my head. I fully intended to turn around and give that person a piece of my mind…except for the minute fact that I had somehow managed to land on Sirius' lips.

Hang on…for me to land on his lips he must have moved to the right…which means he wanted me to land on his lips…

Er…kiss him, I mean.

But then all coherent thought flew out my head and my brain decided to pack its bags and take a little vacation. All I could focus on was, oh my god, I'm kissing Sirius, oh my god, I'm kissing Sirius, oh my god, the female half of Hogwarts is going to murder me…

I tentatively put one arm around his neck and snaked the other up under his shirt, mapping his strong chest with my fingers. He pulled me half onto his lap and placed one hand on my bottom, the other coming to rest on my hips. He leaned into me slightly, licking my bottom lip, sliding his tongue into my mouth and eliciting a deep-throated moan from me. I explored the inside of his mouth and broke off to lean forward and run my tongue along the inside of his ear. He shivered and pressed his lips to mine again, hungrily, his fingers reaching under my shirt as well, trailing kisses and nips down my neck and shoulder, swirling his tongue around my collarbone and basically making me lose my grip on reality…

The only that made me pull away regretfully was the knowledge that if we didn't stop, we'd end up shagging on top of Gryffindor table.

Not that the first part was all that bad…just not in front of millions of eyes…including Dumbledore's…I wonder if he's ever gotten any?

Okay. No. Definitely not going there.

We heard a small, discreet cough from our left and turned around, only to see our twinkly-eyed Headmaster himself, aforementioned twinkle reaching amazing heights.

"I believe some…congratulations are in order for some recent revelations, but perhaps this could be moved to a more…private location?" he suggested delicately.

Which was Dumbledore-speak for, "Good job on coming out of the closet, now go find a bloody closet."

And so we did.

And it's all Lily's fault.

…Ehm, 'thanks to Lily, really.'