Sugar-ific! Roxas's Spork Commando

Disclaimer: Do not own Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts 2 in any way. I also do not own Cirque du Freak, Uchihia Itachi, the sponsorship wit hColgate line, and the spork commando… that one belongs to my Nii-San. But what the heck? Sporks are AWESOME! Besides fire. Rar.

Summary: Demyx wonders what would happen if he gave Roxas sugar. Vexen loves the Cirque du Freak series. Chaos ensues. Lots of OOC-ness. Beware. I've eaten Oreos.

Note: Never got Chain of Memories. Barely finished reading the script (only got to the Agrabah part). Too lazy to finish it. So I have no clue how Marluxia and Zexion and Vexen and Larxene act. Kind of. But after most of the fics I have read, I kind of have a clue.

Yes. I kind of miss Traverse Town.


Tap tap tap

Demyx tapped the table with a gloved hand. He leaned on his other hand, elbow on the flat surface, chin on palm. He sighed.

Taptap tap tap taptap

Boredom can be a very painful thing… especially for a Nobody. While Xigbar was out surfing and looking for pirate ships, there was Demyx. Sitting at the table. Bored. While Axel was out burning things for the heck of it, there was Demyx. Sitting at the table. Bored. And while Naminé was spending all of her time drawing things, there was Demyx. Sitting at the table. Bored.

Bam bam bambam bam

He needed a hobby. Sure, he could practice more on his musical skills, but he just wasn't up to that. He wanted something new. Something… fun to watch.

BAM BAMBAMBAM BAM BAM

Demyx watched Roxas walk past the doorway outside of the room. What exactly did that kid do in his free time? Did he ever laugh or get hyper or what?

SMACK SMACK SMACKSMACK SMACK

"DEMYX! Stop smacking the damn table!" Marluxia's voice echoed throughout the entire castle.

But did Demyx even hear him? No, for he had an idea. And idea that might change the lives of all our favorite Organization members forever…

All right, maybe not, but in Demyx's mind, it was. He slammed his fists against the table as he got up with eagerness. Larxene walked into the room, only to catch a glimpse of the blond man as he pranced past her.

& 1 &

Axel whistled to himself as he walked down the hallway carrying grocery bags. He had just come back from a grocery store at Traverse Town, just because he was running low on snacks, and NO ONE would like to see him grumpy if he had run out. It was just then that he thought he saw Demyx prance right past him.

It was also then that Axel realized all of the sugar cubes he bought were missing.

& 2 &

Vexen leaned back in his lab chair, caught up in reading an intense volume of Cirque du Freak. Yes, it bugged him that he wasn't working on his experiments, but the volume had just come out, and he had been waiting FOREVER to read it.

He chuckled to himself as he turned the page. "Steve, you are one bad as-" It was then that the Riku Replica exploded into a million pieces. Vexen realized that his secret stash of sodas that NO ONE was supposed to know about were missing.

Demyx pranced past the lab.

& 3 &

Roxas stared at the sugar cubes and sodas that were laid before him. He glanced up at Demyx worriedly.

"But… if I have too much sugar…" he said. The taller blond just grinned.

"Aw, nothing badly happen! Just eat it all!"

"I'm serious. If I have too mu-"

"A little sugar wouldn't hurt, right?" There was a silence, and Demyx clamped his hands together, and stared at Roxas with a pouty look. "please?"

"Er…" the younger boy twitched, and looked at the sugar. He gulped. "…if something bad happens… you're going to take the blame."

"Nothing badly happen! I guarantee it!"

Sadly, Demyx wasn't there the last time Roxas had sugar. Poor Axel… he was nearly stabbed to death by… by THINGS. And because of that, he was sent to Vexen, who experimented on him, making everything much, much worse. And then it was only weeks later when the sugar had FULLY worn off.

Just one sugar cube. And then it seemed… because Roxas had eaten that one sugar cube…. The rest of them just… disappeared…. And empty soda cans flew up into the air.

Demyx wondered why he decided to do this again… oh yeah. Boredom.

Roxas had a crazy grin on his face. It would remind some people of the Cheshire Cat, if not Zexion on crack (which very few unlucky people have seen). The boy's pupils were reduced to just tiny dots… it could make any child cry. He let out a few giggles… maybe chuckles… a few laughs…. Or maybe it was all three of those mixed in a crazy sort of way it could make Laxaeus's singing sound beautiful instead of being scarier than the end of the world.

And so… Demyx watched as the monster he created raced out of the room faster than a speeding bullet.

"Well… that was fun." he put his hands behind his head and walked the opposite direction. "I wonder if there's anything good on TV…"

& 4 &

Something about the air in Castle Oblivion bugged Axel. It reminded him of something… but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Whatever it was… it was gonna be bad.

"I just hope Roxas doesn't get high on sugar like he did last time…" he whistled to himself and made his way to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, not caring about his FOREVER lost sugar cubes.

The red head got into the kitchen, and noticed Larxene look around uneasily.

"What's up with you?" he asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut the fuck up." the woman hissed, still looking around. "the voices are back…" her eye twitched several times.

Yeah… something bad was definitely going to happen.

Or else Axel's name was Uchiha Itachi.

And it was not.

& 5 &

Marluxia stared at the floor. No… not the floor. But an Organization coat that lay there. On the floor. As well as gloves, boots, and pants. PANTS.

Who in their right mind would run around Castle Oblivion with nothing but BOXERS on?

Okay, maybe Xigbar…. But he wasn't supposed to be at the castle at that moment, so WHO would do such a thing?

There was stomping. Familiar stomping sounds… no, not only stomping, but MARCHING. A shiver ran up Marluxia's spine. No… it couldn't be…

"ATTACK, MY SPORK COMMANDO!" came a voice, which was shortly followed by evil laughter.

This only brought the man to one conclusion.

Roxas got into sugar AGAIN.

Marluxia couldn't scream in time as an army of sporks shoved him to the ground and marched right over him.

& 6 &

Larxene was now sitting in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth, mumbling things about 'voices.' Axel was getting pretty freaked out too. It was like there was a storm coming that was going to blow the castle to pieces.

It was then when a disheveled Marluxia stumbled into the room. The other two Nobodies stood up.

"What happened to YOU?" Axel asked, running over to the man. Marluxia just coughed.

"Axel… they're back…"

"Who? Who's back?"

"Stop them… please…"

"Fine fine, I just need you to tell me who's back." Axel said.

"They… and sugar…" Marluxia twitched, and fainted. The red haired man squinted and frowned. The guy could have just told him a name or something! Not this… code talk he had seen so many times on TV.

"You make me sick," Axel grumbled, and tossed the unconscious man out of the window. He then celebrated by dancing on the table. "I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty loser!"

And then there was the marching. Yes… the marching. The noise was coming nearer. So close it wasn't even funny.

Larxene huddled in the corner, twitching.

"Oh no…" Axel froze as familiar little objects marched into the room, followed by Roxas… in nothing but a loincloth. The blond haired boy grinned.

"ATTACK!" he yelled, and his spork commando charged at Axel. The red haired man jumped out of the window he had used to dispose of Marluxia.

After he landed on top of a tree that wasn't supposed to be there, Axel looked up at the window. He could hear things breaking, exploding, marching…

Everything would be at least a little bit okay… just as long as Roxas didn't think he was Jesse McCartney.

& 7 &

Demyx had plopped himself onto the couch, eating some popcorn. The spork army marched across the room behind, him.

"Hey!" he yelled. The army stopped. "can one of you pass me the remote? It's on the floor back there somewhere…." nobody knew how they did it (what a pun), but the sporks managed to pass the remote over to Demyx.

"Thanks." was all he answered, and the army went on their way, as he just flipped through the channels… eating popcorn.

& 8 &

Vexen worked on his experiments. It was nice and quiet in his lab. He felt that his work required more of his attention now that he had finished reading his book, and he shouldn't worry about such a thing as small as missing sodas…

But then there were marching. Oooh, the dreaded MARCHING. Vexen twitched and turned around with a scalpel in hand.

"The Vampaneze are here…" he said to himself. Yep, he really has been reading too many books…

It was only five seconds later that sporks took over his lab.

& 9 &

Roxas scavenged empty bedrooms, looking for more sugar. Laxaeus's room was the first to be searched.

It was then that he found a microphone. It awed him very much. Roxas picked it up, and his right eye twitched several times. He was about to speak into it…

…when someone kicked it out of his hand. Roxas turned to hiss at the person.

The person was none other than Axel… in a complete Indiana Jones attire.

"It's time to take away your sugar eating days for good," the red head said, with a grin. His teeth then sparkled, winning him a sponsorship with Colgate.

Roxas hissed at him again, foaming at the mouth. They both got ready to fight, walking in a circle… still staring at each other.

The spork army cheered forming crowds around the two opponents.

Axel took out two guns, aiming them at Roxas, and leaned to the side, shooting at him. The blond boy leaned backwards in slow motion, as the older man had done when he leaned to the side. The bullets flew past the blond's face slowly.

And thus, the battle ensued.

& 10 &

Naminé sat in her room, sketchbook in hand. She hummed softly to herself as she drew, giggling every once in a while.

The picture had a number of strange things happening, like a bunch of sporks staring at Larxene, Roxas running around in a loincloth, and Axel in Indiana Jones attire.

Yes. This is what she did when she was bored out of her mind..


END


A/N … Heehee. Nothing to say XD Just wanted to take a little break from my other KH fic :P

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