A fan fiction written by Ryuko Ishida

Ryuko: Please don't kill me! I know I haven't updated this in... oh jeez... I don't think I even want to know. But anyhow, I hope this chapter won't bore you to death! (But it probably will.) Hey, I tried!

DISCLAIMER: What do you think? Of course not.

NOTE: Italics – Poem/ lyrics


Part I: White Remembrance

Her fingers twitched the slightest, and the immediate stimulation of dampness sent tiny consecutive shocks from the tip and towards her inner being. She shuddered, and suddenly, all nerves within her body snapped on one by one, sharp and swift with a quickness that left her breathless.

She felt her eyes cracked open with strain, but she wasn't sure for only darkness met her eyes. Black locks fell into her eyes, and instinctively, she brushed it aside, all the while not noticing the lightning swiftness that was flowing fluidly in all her movements.

The only support I have are the walls I lean against

The only crack that let me see the sky outside is the broken window

Ripping her ears, like a percussion performing tastelessly, various rhythms were playing; they tapped against the jagged glass that was right above her head and a drop of transparent fell downwards. The shock of the iciness caused her to spring up, knees bent into a crouching position, almost like a frightened wild animal and an alien hissing sound shredded out from her throat.

She blinked once, then twice.

'What was that?' The nameless girl felt she should be in some kind of pain, but at the moment, pain was, out of all the sensations, something she could not find traces of. Quite the contrary, energy was running wildly around her system but was ironically void of a specific substance – one that she was still unaware of and the craving for it was dying to come out, almost in an aching way. She let a shaky breath out and by supporting herself using the moist wall, she stood straight once more, her irises sparkled with an unusual glint.

Air surrounding was damp and heavy, with a strong trace of saw dust sticking on the few chairs sitting opposite of her; the day was that of a gray haze, as the cold, drowning fog drifted in silently like a calm spirit. Yet, strangely, even though she was sure she had never come near this chamber before, the sensation was not foreign.

'Where am I?' She knew no one would be there to reply, but this didn't stop her stream of questions. She attempted to retrieve the pieces of memory of how she ended up in the current state in the first place.

Nothing came to her mind.

She was motionless by this time, not an expression apparent on her pale complexion. Like a marble statue – frozen and cold, but unblemished physically in every which way – she didn't notice these particular changes within her body as her mind dug into deeper thoughts, which eventually led to... nothing.

Pure, white blank glared back at her fiercely through the back of her eyes; sharp black irises disappeared briefly underneath her heavy eyelids. Trying to tame the start of her hysterics of getting all blanks in her head, she went back to the most basic things. That would bound to lead her back to where she was, right?


So, let's start with – 'Who am I? My name... Okay, my name is...' Oh shit. What was her name? Did she even have a name to start with? Wait, was she going crazy? Of course she had to have a name. She just had to remember what it was. Oh great, she was going insane, wasn't she? She had to be!

A whole lot of blank, white thoughts

Every day in the back of my mind

"Who am I?" She was close to howling at this point, but at a lower sound level. She buried her slim fingers into her thick locks, grabbing it hard as if that action would bring some sense into her.

She was about to be disappointed.

She was panicking. She knew she was panicking, from her blurred eyesight caused by unshed, frustrated tears. All of a sudden, before she could comprehend what the hell was going on, the sky fell and shadows swallowed her.

She blinked, and an image filled her mind.

'A man?' It was indeed a snap shot of a male in his early twenties. From the short flash of his face, she had already taken in his honey-toned hair and bright irises that not only mesmerized her, but at the same time, haunted her the tiniest hint – those rose-red, blood-shot eyes that remotely resembled those of a beast's.

Another blink, and he was gone, leaving only the smoky air veiling her sight again, unchanged like time had stopped its passage of journey exclusively for her sake.

Something was calling out to her now – an unknown being.

'It could be just my imagination,' she decided, a small, bitter smile grazing her lips, 'since I'm going nuts and all that.'

It needed to be heard, to be satisfied. It would not rest until the desire was fulfilled.

'Desire...' She desired something. But what, exactly? She didn't want to think any more. All these things, right from the second she woke up to this unknown, unfamiliar world of smog, were ruining her, destroying her from inside out. She didn't know how much more she could take before she literally went bananas.

The peculiar sentiment of longing persisted, and she wanted nothing more than to rip it out, whatever it turned out to be. She was that desperate – the young, stunning female with nothing in her beautiful mind, no companion beside her to stain her image, and certainly, no identity, no name to prove that she really existed.

The youth that I've given up

Still stays on my face, frozen like frost.

'Foot steps,' her extra- sensitive ears informed her before her brain had a chance to acknowledge the fact. She wasn't sure of the reason, but hiding seemed like a good plan to her as of now. She should never take chances, shouldn't she?

Ignoring her indecisive cognitions, her body signaled itself to get moving and in an alarmingly short second, she was crouching on top of a closet standing in a dusty corner, overlooking the whole room. And there, she waited, holding her breath as long as she could as if a soft exhale would initiate some kind of explosions.

She sniffed him out before she could even see a figure crossing towards her in the misty rain. She never found a human's scent to be so... how should she word it?

'Appealing.' A smile, which was not of a genuine one in the least, fused in her head. When did she even start to think like that – in the terms of 'human' and all that? Wasn't she a human too? Of course she was. Such a silly question.

When happiness becomes an illusion

Everything hopeful in the future all seems like my selfish wish

It was getting harder for her to withstand, she realized, her fingers, arms and legs flexed like a hunter ready to release his weapons. The warm smell of the little guy was, though slightly drowned out by the rain, was still as strong as ever, taunting and teasing her, as if daring her to come and take it.

At that second, no thought approached her, or any sense at all. It was only her newly acquired instinct, and that never-dying flame of craving piercing her internally.

She was no longer in control of herself.

She was no longer herself.


It had been sweet, smooth, and satisfying. The sharp slice of pain on his throbbing throat had been thrilling but it was the essence of the human's life that soothed her spirit down. She was glad that the squirming desire had died down for now, yet on the other hand...

She let her eyes promptly ran over his still shell, cold and empty...

'And lifeless,' – because she had drained out this innocent boy's blood. Oh, how she despised herself at the second she finally discovered what she had became.

And yet, here she stood, unable to change the past, even if she could remember hers.

Glassy cerulean eyes, like a river that had stopped flowing and was dying, stared back at her; a mixture of shock, fear and agony were written all over the emotional irises.

Those eyes that would became dark eventually, and dull. She refused to give another glance towards the corpse and instead, got up shakily to her feet.

With me, there's only solitude


Further away clueless to what was happening, a distant howl that resembled something between frustration and despair was slivered by the silent wind, carrying its message all around.

He took a momentary look towards the direction of the source of the cry, his orbs a dark burgundy with bright ruby outlining the orbs that seemed disturbed, and at the same time, curious.


Ryuko: There you go – part one of the three part story! Hope you've enjoyed it and not fell asleep during it. I know, I know – too much description? I'm sorry. I'll try to add in more things for the next chapter (if I actually get around doing it). But none the less, whether you like it or not, give me some comments. Anything would be nice! Thanks.