Title: "Tenipuri Online!"

Author: All4thebasilisk

Rating: As of now, I'll stick with PG.

Summary: All the Kantou schools have arranged a secret "Keyboard Pal" program for the tennis players. Each player selects a screenname and must correspond with whomever he is randomly given online. But as the name implies, the two keyboard buddies don't know whom they've been given…

Pairings: We'll see…

Notes: Author's notes will be enclosed in parentheses throughout the story.

And without further ado, let the instant messaging begin!



From: Oishi Syuichiroh (Niceguy) (AN: For some reason, I can't do full email addresses, so I'll leave it like this)

To: Tezuka Kunimitsu (TezukaK)

Subject: Did you hear?

So, Tezuka, did you hear about the new Keyboard Pal Program? It's been a week since the Junior Invitational Games, and we'll already have a chance to speak with our friends from other schools. I'm looking forward to the opportunity, although my buddy's screenname is a bit… odd. Ever hear of a "Uluv2KnowMe?" I thought it might be Atobe Keigo, but I've been assured that his screenname "would never be so obviously ore-sama" when I saw him on the way home from school today. I can't wait to speak to this player and try to figure out who it is!


From: Marui Bunta (Tensai4sure)

To: Kuwabara Jackal (BrazilianinJapan)

Subject: My Keyboard Pal

I'm positive my Keyboard Pal isn't from Rikkaidai, (AN: Remember, just because there are people from other schools, it doesn't mean you won't get a classmate…) and he's really annoying! He'll stop talking in the middle of a conversation, then continue it ten minutes later, all hyper and clueless, as though he doesn't realize that I've been waiting for TEN MINUTES for one reply! I can't believe I got roped into this project. It's all your fault, you know. You're the one who told me that when we finally find out who our Keyboard Pals are, we're having a sort of party at that restaurant I love! So unfair! This isn't even worth all those snacks… though I may reconsider if you treat me to burgers again…


From: Dan Taichi (DanDanDanDan)

To: Akutsu Jin (OuttaMyWay)

Subject: I've been included in the Keyboard Pals Program, desu!

Sengoku-senpai has let me have a Keyboard Pal, desu! I'm so excited, desu! I'm going to try to learn more about the other player's style and adapt it to my own, desu, because I'm going to catch up to Echizen Ryoma-kun! Are you going to participate in the program, senpai? I hope so. Even though you're not on the team anymore, I'm sure Banji-sensei will let you if you ask, desu! It might be fun, desu!

(AN: For the sake of secrecy, Dan will be trying super-hard not to end every IM with the word desu, so that his Keyboard Pal will not instantly recognize him. The same goes for anyone else you may read about who will not speak with general characteristics, though personalities DO NOT change!)


From: Atobe Keigo (Rondo2Perfection)

To: Kabaji Munehiro (Usu)

Subject: Can you believe it!

Of course you can't! Some officious snob has taken a screenname perfect for ore-sama and used it for his own machinations! Imagine, "Uluv2KnowMe," truly believing to be of the superior breed of the Atobes! I would be horrified if I didn't know that this program is supposed to be anonymous. It must be someone so inferior that he feels he needs to appear as great as ore-sama online, ne Kabaji? That must be it. Maybe someone like Sanada Genichirou, who's just trying to impress Tezuka! Well, I won't have it. My screenname may appear to be modest online, but the name will spread to the farthest reaches of the Internet soon enough! I'll have my Keyboard Pal waiting on me hand and foot by the end of this program. But don't worry, Kabaji, I'll never replace you… ne?

(AN: These aren't all the people I plan to transcribe- I have a few others in mind, too! But if you have any suggestions of a pair of IMing buddies I can use, just write it in your review:-P hint hint…)



GiveMetheMoon: Hello! It's so nice to meet you!

Uluv2KnowMe: I thought the same thing, too.

GiveMetheMoon: …that it was nice to meet me?

Uluv2KnowMe: Uh, no. That it was nice to know me.

GiveMetheMoon: O-of course! I was thinking that this is a great opportunity to get to know each other, as members of different schools.

Uluv2KnowMe: Frankly, I don't care. I don't need any more adoring fans, though I can understand the desire, of course!

GiveMetheMoon: Wait! I never said- (AN: I know people can't get cut off in IM, but trust me. It's more entertaining this way.)

Uluv2KnowMe: Come to think of it, it may be better to expand my fan base to other schools! You may yet make a competent toadie, Moon!

GiveMetheMoon: I'm sorry, I think there must be some sort of misund-

Uluv2KnowMe: I'm not going to tell you who I am just yet, though of course you probably already know that only one person in the world possesses such a stunning intellect. This program is a fantastic opportunity, assuming I can get more screennames from my teammates. I can spread out my fan base to every school in the Kantou region!

GiveMetheMoon: I give up.

Uluv2KnowMe: Just a moment, unworthy subject! I have a hair out of place, so I need to take a shower. You understand, of course. The danger to harming my person is very great when I'm not grooming properly!

GiveMetheMoon: Are you sure you're not Atobe Keigo?

Automated Response: Uluv2KnowMe has signed offline.


BurgerKing: Are you there yet?

Oyasumi!: Where? Because I'm here! And so are you! Isn't this fun? Do you play good tennis? What sort do you play?

BurgerKing: Um…doubles? And why are you always so noisy?

Oyasumi!: Noisy? No! I can't be noisy on the computer! Actually, my mother's telling me to be quiet now. Guess I am noisy! That's incredible, how you knew! Are you a tensai?

BurgerKing: Well, now that you brought it up…

Oyasumi!: You're a tensai? That's really cool! You're really amazing! I bet you play great tennis, too!

BurgerKing: Of course I do; I'm a champion.

Oyasumi!: Sugoi! Igvslihwnfdshshryh

BurgerKing: Are you still there? Did you doze off again? (Sighs) If you hadn't just told me I was amazing….


TennisStarWannabe: Isn't this program great?

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: I love the idea! I mean, for all I know, you could be a super-great player, and I'd have no idea that I was talking to someone so amazing!

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: Someday, I'm going to be number one in Japan! I didn't even start playing until recently, but my senpais all say that I've got lots of potential!

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: I don't mean to brag or anything, though- I'm still not very good. But I've set a goal, and I'm going to reach it someday!

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: Maybe once I find out who you are, we can play tennis together! Right?

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: Great! I can't wait! When do we find out who our Keyboard Pals are, anyway? I'm a late entry, so I missed most of the details.

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: You also don't know? Oh, well. I'll just ask one of my senpais tomorrow, and tell you tomorrow night! That way we'll both know!

Nanisure: …

TennisStarWannabe: Oh, this whole conversation has made me want to get even better at tennis! I'm going to go practice now! Thanks for talking! I had a great time!


PerfectlyModest: You are to be my Keyboard Pal, then?

WhyNot: Why? Why is your screenname PerfectlyModest?

PerfectlyModest: Because I believe it embodies one of my most outstanding and beautiful traits, of course. Couldn't you tell?

WhyNot: Why? Why is that your trait? Why did you join this program? Why are traits beautiful?

PerfectlyModest: I see that you understand my perfection and are curious about it. However, you should never ask questions so directly to someone of my stature. Preface it with an "if I may," or "if it pleases the mighty At- PerfectlyModest that I might speak…"

WhyNot: Why? Why do you say "I see" if you can't see me through the computer? Why can't I ask direct questions? Why didn't you answer my questions?

PerfectlyModest: You know, you're beginning to annoy me.

WhyNot: Why? Why am I beginning to annoy you? Why is your answer so short? Why is my computer's screen glowing?

PerfectlyModest: Okay, now you're not just "beginning" to annoy me.

WhyNot: Why? Why is it dark outside? Why do I have ten fingers? Why isn't my brother home yet?

PerfectlyModest: This is a ridiculous conversation. How can I make you bow to my greatness if you're so stupid?

WhyNot: Why? Why is my lamp on? Why hasn't my brother called? Why did we finish practice a minute early today?

PerfectlyModest: I wonder if they'll let me switch partners…

WhyNot: Why? Why would you switch? Why is there a poster on the wall? Why is this night different?


WhyNot: Why? Why can't you take this? Why are you taking something somewhere? Why is the grass green?

Automated Response: PerfectlyModest has signed offline.

WhyNot: Why?

(AN: Your reviews are the only thing that keeps me writing!)