The Fruitier Quirks

By: firefly

Note: My first Death Note fic, written to satisfy a request where the pairing had to be LightxRyuuzaki and I had to include the word "kaleidoscope." Hope you like, and reviews would be LOVE.

The Fruitier Quirks

Light shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The clock ticked on like a steady metronome. Leaves rustled outside the window. There was a rhythmic key-tapping going on at a laptop.

Light grimaced, then squirmed.

He glanced furtively from his book to the side, where Ryuuzaki sat tapping idly away at a laptop, staring unblinkingly at the 2-D Pacman that went zooming across the screen.

Another tap and Ryuuzaki sighed.

"Oh, I died."

Light clenched his fist and set down his book.

I wish.

"Ryuuzaki…" he finally spoke.

"Yes, Yagami-kun?"

Purposely, Light reached up to scratch his head so the chain connecting their handcuffs rattled, managing to gain the neurotic detective's attention.

He imagined the enormous lump in his throat to be his dignity when he swallowed, hard, forcing it down.

"I need to use the washroom."

"Oh? All right," Ryuuzaki said, scrambling out of his chair and standing. Light followed suit and they both stood, looking at each other before heading towards the washroom.

It had been only a day since they'd been handcuffed together and Light was finding the prospect of strangling Ryuuzaki with the chain more and more appealing by the second. They stopped outside the washroom door, and Ryuuzaki looked at him expectantly, face blank.

"Take off your pants."

Light stared at him.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, I have to check for any suspicious oddities you may have on your person," Ryuuzaki remarked, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Light twitched.

"I refuse."

"Please, Yagami-kun. We're both mature people. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Don't patronize me. I refuse to do it because there's no need. I don't have anything to hide."

"Will you at least allow me to check your pockets, then?"


Light stood, arms outstretched and face blank as Ryuuzaki patted him down, fingers pressing against his sides and a little too close to his crotch for comfort. Light gritted his teeth, almost jumping when his hand brushed over the pockets on his behind.

"Okay, go on then. If you take more than 4 minutes and 33 seconds, I will have to intrude."

Oh yes, wrapping the chain around that skinny neck and jerking hard would be great

"Thank you," Light gritted out, then strode into the washroom, closing the door and cursing inwardly as it bounced off the chain. He shut it as best he could and carried out his business.

He took comfort in the thought that if he, Light Yagami, failed to kill the prodigious L, then a fatal case of premature diabetes would.

But seriously, Light thought, washing his hands. Judging from his behaviour, there were only two possibilities concerning Ryuuzaki's sexuality.

That he had none, or that he was a repressed, flaming homosexual. And judging from the way his hand lingered a little too long on Light's behind, the latter sounded more likely.

As such, things get worse before they get better, and so it all went downhill from there.

When Ryuuzaki wasn't watching him with that bug-eyed stare of his, he was either downing cup after cup of coffee, rocking back and forth on his haunches, biting his thumb into a pulp, chewing, chewing, chewing those goddamn donuts, tapping at the laptop, being enthralled with Pacman, scribbling notes on scattered sheets of paper, scratching at his unruly mop of hair, scratching at his neck, hiccupping, smiling faintly and periodically at nothing, muttering what sounded like snatches of a foreign national anthem, tapping his fingernails, clicking pens, throwing scrunched papers at the waste bin and missing unabashedly, jerking randomly on the chain, breathing down Light's neck, and humming lullabies whenever either of them yawned.

Light was not one to worry needlessly. But the young detective's behaviour was starting to make him increasingly paranoid.

It pained, having to be followed everywhere; to the washroom, to the kitchen, to the balcony and to the living room. The chain rattled as a constant reminder of Ryuuzaki's presence when his soft, hitched breathing didn't.

But the worst, Light noticed, was how many times he had to follow Ryuuzaki to the washroom.

The sheer amount of caffeine he consumed forced beverages out of him within fifteen minutes, so most of the first two days involved standing outside the washroom door as Ryuuzaki used it.

Any attempt to dissuade him from drinking coffee was met with a blank, if not slightly homicidal look.

And the entire time, the suspicion that Ryuuzaki was a homosexual grew ever stronger.

Night fell. Light yawned, failing to stifle the sound as Ryuuzaki's head snapped up from his scattered papers, a slight, faint smile adorning his features.

The smile, combined with his wide, dilated-pupil-eyed stare made him look all the more…creepy.

"Yagami-kun needs sleep."

"I'm fine, I can stay up for a few more hours."

"No, no, no, no," Ryuuzaki scooted off his chair, nibbling on pocky sticks as he knelt next to where Light sat on the bed, peering closely into his face.

"Your eyes are bloodshot," Ryuuzaki pointed out, nearly taking out Light's eye when he pointed one jerky finger at it.

"Ryuuzaki…" Light forgot his aggravation for a moment, brow furrowing. "I think you should cut back on the sugar and caffeine. I can see you're experiencing strong tremors."

Ryuuzaki stared at him, and Light felt himself break out in a cold sweat.

"Sleep, Yagami-kun."

Light gave up.

Moving to lie back on the bed, he paused, raising his eyes to Ryuuzaki. The wired detective had scrambled back onto his chair and sat there, nibbling on his pocky and watching him.

Sighing, Light rolled onto his side and did his best to ignore his unwanted companion. Thoughts of being molested in his sleep crossed his mind and he furtively chanced glances over his shoulder, lowering his head again when he met with Ryuuzaki's small, creepy smile.

"Shall I sing Yagami-kun a lullaby? Watari sings to me when I'm restless."

Light grimaced, staring determinedly at the wall.

"No, thank you."

Sleep claimed him sometime during the night, fitful and troubled as he tossed and turned, sweating as dreamlike Ryuuzaki's appeared before him, singing lullabies and venturing a little too close for comfort.

When he literally felt a hand cup the firm curve of his buttocks, Light woke, sitting up with a gasp, wide, panicked eyes focusing on the dark ceiling before whipping to where he'd seen Ryuuzaki last.

A digital clock caught his eye, glowing red in the dark and displaying the time.

3:54 AM.

His eyes adjusted to the dark, then moved left.

Cursing, he jerked back when his gaze met with Ryuuzaki still sitting in his chair, still staring at him, motionless and silent with his eyes wide open.

Had he been staring at him all night?

Light shuddered, then cleared his throat, voice croaky.


There was no answer.

Blinking blearily, Light cautiously leaned closer, muttering his name again.

Ryuuzaki just stared at him.

Light was perplexed.

Was he dead?

Leaning even closer, Light peered into his eyes, noticing how they were a tad more glazed than normal. Biting his lower lip, he slowly raised a hand and waved it in front of his eyes.

No response. Not even a blink.

Oh, hell no.

Light carefully moved back to the bed in disbelief.

He was asleep. With his eyes open.

Light had never seen a creepier thing in his life. Needless to say, he didn't sleep the rest of the night.

It was the next day when things finally came to a head.

Up until now, Light had been able to tolerate (to the best of his ability) Ryuuzaki accompanying him everywhere.

But it had been three days. And Light was a very hygienic individual.

He needed a shower, badly. Running a hand through his greasy hair, he grimaced, looking over at Ryuuzaki, who'd been wearing the same set of pajamas without changing for three days straight.

The sheer amount of caffeine in his system must have scared off the bacteria, because he looked and smelled relatively clean.

But still, it was the principle of the matter. Not showering for three days was disgusting, whether you smelled or not.

It took him two hours to rehearse what he was going to say and he finally came out with it the forty-sixth time Ryuuzaki lost at Pacman.

"Ryuuzaki," he began, carefully neutral. "I have an issue I need to discuss with you."

"Yes?" the detective peered at him through a kaleidoscope, tilting his head from side to side.

"I can understand how you must keep an eye on me during this time and monitor my every movement. But surely, you must know the importance of respecting my and others' needs for privacy at some point or another. If I were in your place, I would grant you at least some time for repose and grooming alone"—

"Yagami-kun," he interrupted.


"What are you trying to say?"

"I need a shower, Ryuuzaki. And I want you take these handcuffs off for at least fifteen minutes so I can take one."

"Impossible," he responded calmly, turning the kaleidoscope and watching diamonds of red and purple go cascading over his field of vision. "I cannot."

"You can check my pockets and the shower, if you have to," Light said exasperatedly.

Slowly, he lowered the kaleidoscope, squinting at him.

"There are more inconspicuous places one can hide a sealed, plastic-wrapped strip of paper."

Light stared at him for a moment, uncomprehending.

Then it dawned on him.

"You think I would do something like that? Up there? Are you crazy?"

"I'm not saying you can't shower," Ryuuzaki said blandly, biting his thumb. "I'm saying I will just have to accompany you."

Light mouthed wordlessly.

"Besides, I also need a shower. And it will be easier on us both if we bathe together. If you are uncomfortable with that, then I will have to sit by and watch you bathe."

The blood left Light's face.

"Yagami-kun, you look ill."

"Ryuuzaki…can I ask you a question? And answer me honestly," Light said, voice trembling with recklessness.

"Yes, Yagami-kun?" he prompted politely.

"Are you gay?"

He blinked, then stared. Ever so slowly, his thumb lowered from between his teeth, hand coming to rest on his knee.

The clock took on its role of the metronome.

He leaned closer, inclining his head forward and tilting his chin up to stare Light directly in the face.

Those wide, dark eyes stared complacently, reflecting the wariness and innocence of a doe.

"Yagami-kun," he finally spoke, tone mild.

Light looked apprehensive.


There it was again, that faint, barely-there smile as he lifted the kaleidoscope, peering at him through a cascade of rainbows.

"The only white liquids I'm intimately familiar with are milk and Maalox."