Hey my first GTA III ficy. So yeah.

This is the life of Lazlow from chatterbox. My dog is actually named after him. Lazlo, to skip out on the copywriting lawsuits.

I don't own Grand Theft Auto Three or Lazlow or Chatterbox.


Someone's Gotta Do It

"Life isn't fair, get used to it."


It's a job, but someone's gotta do it. Lazlow's life in Liberty City and San Andreas. He has his encounters with Claude Speed, Carl Johnson, the Leone family, and The Ballas. Hey like I said, "It's a job, but someone's gotta do it."

Chapter One: Day Damn One, Day Damn One

"Mr. Lazlow." and old man, in his 40's, said.

George "Embyr" Logan. He used to be the host of Chatterbox, but he wanted an early retirement. Or so he said. Joey Leone had been seen talking to him days before he said he would quit. No one knew it, but it was pretty much first come first serve. Lazlow was second. The first guy was a little on the psychotic side and cussed way to much.

"Is that your name?" George said.

"Yeah, just Lazlow."

"Uh-huh, you talk much?" George asked.

"No, not at all. I don't know how to talk." Lazlow said sarcastically.

"Uh-huh." George said writing something on his clipboard. He was actually drawing a Teletubbie get murdered by Barney.

"So, you like answerin' phones 'Lazlow'?" George asked.

"Sure, anything to keep me from my girlfriend." Lazlow said.

"You're in." George said.


"Don't tell me you don't speak English." George said sarcastically.

"No, it's just. Whoa. I have a job." Lazlow said with glee. "For the first time since high school."

"Yeah, well. Can you start today?" George asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Sure." Lazlow said still trying to figure out why he was so excited.

George lead Lazlow into the audio room.

"Today, is my last day on Chatterbox, but I am now lending the microphone and also the ears of Liberty City to...Lazlow." George said. "Knock 'em dead. I mean, oh shit." He ran off.

"Yeah, okay. Hey, name's Lazlow. Oh hey, a caller on line one." Lazlow said. "Hey, you're on the air with Chatterbox."

"There's a boogie man under my bed." a girl said.

"Um, how old are you?" Lazlow said.

"I'm 25." the girl said.

"Right, uh-huh." Lazlow said.

"I can't figure out why he's there? I'm so scared." the girl said.

"Put a grenade under your bed, you'll be fine." Lazlow hung up on her. "Okay, Line Two."

"Killer bees, Lazlow, killer bees." a guy said. This would be a start of a lot of things.

"Who are you?"

"Michael Bishop."

"Okay, Killer Bees?"

"Yes, Killer Bees." Michael said. "They will put us humans on the endangered list. They are growing rapidly. They are reproducing massively."

"So they like having sex, so do we. I don't see the problem."

"That's not the point Lazlow. We could be all dead by next year."

"Right, right."

"Listen to me, 'Lazlow'. When you die, I'll come to your funeral, and laugh over your grave."

"Yeah, sure. How will I know you'll be laughing over you're grave."

"I will, I will. I promise you Mr.'Lazlow'. What is that Hungarian, Swedish, Austri-" He was cut off.

"Okay, that only wasted 28 minutes. Line One, you're live on Chatterbox."

"Hey, people call me Spuffyfanfictionlover, online anyway. But most call me Spuffy, do they realize that there is a member who is actually called Spuffy, and I'm not that person. I am Spuffyfanfictionlover." I said.

"Is it a myspace name or something?" Lazlow asked.

"No, it's for a fanfiction site, Unleash your imagination and free your soul!" I said quoting the motto.

"Okay, never heard of it." Lazlow said. "What is this fan fiction stuff?"

"Oh my god!" I was shocked he would even say that! "It's where you take any show, anime, manga, video game, comic, movie, and other things, and make up stories about it. You don't even get arrested. That's a first for me!"

"Okay, maybe you should insert your little rant in your fan fiction." Lazlow suggested.

--indistictivly-- "See, Soji, I told you he was cool, that's why I named my dog after him." I said to my friend SojiSohma. Not her real name, but I call her SL on another fic.

"You named your dog after me?" Lazlow asked.

"Yeah, but I spell it l-a-z-l-o. I didn't want to get arrested for copywriting, again." I said.

"Okay, you're insane, you know that?" Lazlow said.

"Yes, I am fully aware of my mental condition." I said with a hint of pride.

"Right, okay." Lazlow hung up on me.

He looked at the clock. How could he be working for only 45 minutes!

4 hours had passed and he was almost done. "Spuffyfanfictionlover" had called about 13 different times about 34 different things. What could end this day?

"Line Four, your live on Chatterbox." Lazlow said tiredly.

"Hey, Lazlow!" I said exitedly into my phone.

"Spuffy, we've missed you. Isn't that right Liberty City?" Lazlow said.

"It's not Spuffy, it's Spuffyfanfiction-" He cut me off! That bastard! I'll call back tomorrow.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today, remember, if your insane, we are the only station that will accept you!" Lazlow said.

Finally it was over. But this was only the first damn day!

Day Damn One, Day Damn One!


You see I never write just one category of fics, I'm totally off the charts!

Review, please!