Useless Facts

I do not own Supernatural and am in no way affiliated with it…

I'm reading a book about useless facts and I thought about Supernatural and how Sam would never in a million years know these facts but they suit Dean well… Here's the turnout…

And all these facts are true, as far as I know.

Useless Facts

"Hey, Sammy," Dean asked.

"It's Sam."

Sam and Dean were in the middle of a back-country road heading to Louisiana to take on a haunted house. Sam was driving for a change and Dean was relaxing, while reading a newspaper.

"Guess what, Sam," Dean said.

"What," Sam sighed. Stuck in a car with one annoying older brother was bad. But for eight hours straight. That was worse. Ten times worse.

"Did college boy know that cold showers increase sexual arousal?"

"Dean! That's sick!"

"Yeah well, what's sick is I always used to take hot showers. Time to change that."


"So did you know that," Dean asked with a smile on his face.

"No, Dean. I didn't. But did you know that those French kisses you give women all the time," Sam said while Dean remembered something – most likely a sexual memory, "They're actually called English kisses in France."

"Really? I'll remember that next time I'm screwing a French woman. Thanks."

Sam shook his head and sighed. That was Dean. Downstairs brain was dominant.

"Sam, are you afraid of hell?"

"What," Sam asked bewildered. That was a quick change of subject, "I guess, why?"

"I can diagnose you with hadephobia, fear of hell."

Sam rolled his eyes. Stupid useless knowledge.

"I've got another one," Dean said, "There is actually a town called Kansas. It's in Oklahoma."


Sam thought for a moment before speaking, "Are you the ultimate Aerosmith fan, Dean?"

"Of course. Thirteen of our IDs have the band members' names."

"Did you know that the band traveled with chainsaws because it was easier to ruin the room with?"

Dean furrowed his brow and slouched, defeated, in his seat. He angrily muttered, "No. I didn't."

"I'll wake you when it's your turn to drive," Sam said cheerily. Too cheerily.

Dean might know that a hippo screams louder during sex then a jet plane at take off. But Sam knew that George Washington wasn't actually the first President of the United State, John Hanson was. Dean might know that a toilet's life expectancy is 50 years. But Sam could tell you several of the 'cides' – suicide, homicide, genocide, parenticide, and infanticide – even though there were more. Dean could tell Sam all about how animals have sex, but Sam could tell Dean all about how it doesn't matter, because Dean isn't a crocodile trying to mate. There lay their differences. One was smart in the world of the dumb education and another was smart in the world of any education. But both were smart in the realm of the Supernatural. And truly, that mattered most.