Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter

A Single Candle

Story by StormDancer

It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake

I always watch her. She never knows it, but when I'm strutting by her, seemingly oblivious to the loser's presence; I'm actually staring at her, drinking her essence. I don't think anyone's noticed, actually, I know they haven't. If they did, I'd have heard of it right away. My reputation would have been lost. Draco Malfoy, in love? Yes, I've finally accepted that I am in love. And with the most unlikely candidate of them all. Oh, I'm sure I'll never tell her how I feel. Most people would say that that's because a quick lay isn't worth my reputation. And a year ago, I would have agreed. But now, I know more than I did then. I know I don't want just the quick lay I have with all the girls that throw themselves at me. I can get that with anybody, and trust me, some of the girls I've had have been very, shall I say, experienced. No, no, that's not why I can sense her presence whenever she's near me. No, I won't tell her for very different reasons. She's so innocent, so pure, so inherently good. I've never heard her or heard of her speak ill of anybody. She would never even listen to my pleas. She's above that, above the petty love of men. She's an angel. That's what I always have, and always will think.

I remember the first time I ever saw her. Oh, I might have glimpsed her before then but this was the first time I actually saw her. I had been sitting in front of the lake on a dark, cold winter's eve. And as I sat there, I was thinking. I was contemplating my father. He had been pushing me harder to become like him, a Death Eater. I could almost feel the crux coming, the time when I would have to choose. Choose between right and wrong. I know which side is right, never fear. I think most Death Eaters do. Hell, I bet even Voldemort does, somewhere in that twisted mind of his. But I could tell that when I chose, I would be too weak. I wouldn't choose at all, I would let my father choose for me. Because I hate choices. They're so… final. So I sat here, in front of the silent lake, and felt my soul fill up with dark. It was an almost tangible feeling, this evil in me. I could sense its malevolent presence. And then I saw her. She was standing a ways a way from me, still except for the wind that blew her beautiful, white-blonde hair out of her face. I swear she was glowing, dressed all in white. She lit up the dark like a candle, a lone candle in my soul. She lit up the sky, even her radish earring seeming to give off heat and warmth and even joy. The whole world was centered around her in those moments. At least mine was. She turned, and began to pet a thestral. Under her hands, it became the creature I suppose Hagrid sees, beautiful and graceful and in a odd way, pure. Yes, I can see the thestrals. I've probably seen more death than Potter. I remember the first time I saw someone die. My father killed a man for not paying his debt. I was just a child, barely 5 years old, but I saw it. My father made me watch, despite my mother's protest. "He's too young!" she cried, but my father simply laughed. "He needs to know what being a Malfoy means," was all he said as he dragged me off. Oh yes, I learned what it means to be a Malfoy. It means that one must kill the innocent, delight in pain. I love my family, but I only count as my family those who love me, like my mother, or those who I love, like Luna.

And I do everything for her. She doesn't know, no one knows, how many times the girls who insult her are mysteriously cursed as I walk away from them. I don't think she realizes that that's why the teasing decreased, because now everyone knows that something bad happens to those who tease Luna Lovegood. I've lost count of how many times I've gently, subtly, led the Slytherin's minds away from her. Nobody's noticed, but I can't take that for granted. And yet I continue. For I know the teasing of the Ravenclaws can be cruel and hurtful, but a Slytherin's torment can be fatal. And if she died, so would I. I hope she never finds out what I do for her. She can't know what danger she can be in. She is purer than that, transcends the human small-mindedness. I have dug into the depths of pain. I have delved into darkness, and so let me be the one to punish. Let me take a but more of the dark into my hands, that hold so much already. She's my angel, and I would do anything for her.

I don't even know if she sees me. Those silvery eyes that can see through people to their souls seem to wash over me, and I feel my heart break. I doubt she knows I exist. That's partly why I love her so. Even Granger and Little Weasley have to admit they're attracted to me, carnally at least. I am handsome, I know, they know it, everyone knows it. So while some girls hate me, and would do anything before hooking up with me, at some instinctual level, they are paying attention to me. But Luna isn't. I can tell, when those beautiful, mystical eyes glance at me, they aren't seeing the handsome Draco Malfoy, they aren't seeing me at all. Not even the me I would let her see if she would simply look at me, not through me but at me. The me I've never shown anyone else.

In a way, I hope she never realizes what I feel. In an odd way, I'm content with my secret passion, my hidden love. I will continue to help my angel in anyway I can, and even those I can't, but if she found out I would have to choose. Choose between all I've worked towards or my love, between my name and my angel. And this may not seem I choice, remember my soul is filled with dark. A single candle is all that lights it, a single candle which keeps me alive. A candle named Luna Lovegood.