A/N REPOSTED! Due to this story's overwhelming popularity (cough, yeah right, cough) I've edited and reposted. Am leaving most of the original author's notes up though. If you reviewed before, could you possibly bring yourself to re-review? Please?

Dedication: The return of this fic is dedicated to: everyone who complained that I ought to get this story back. And there are quite a few of you, you know who you are.

(A/N I was re-watching the episodes the other day, and I thought that there would be quite a scope for poking fun at them. So here I am, be nice. Warning: I was incredibly hyper when I wrote this, so if it isn't funny: go consume large quantities of sugar, then watch at least two of the episodes, then come back and read. A review would also be nice.

Disclaimer: I've discovered a severe lack in my life: I don't own Doctor Who. Sniff! So the Doctor and all related artifacts are owned by the BBC, not me.)


1 – Nice to meet you, run for your life!

London. Capital city of England and soon-to-be site of quite a lot of alien activity.

But you don't know that yet.

So forget I mentioned it.

Meet Rose – average every-day London teen. Who gets attacked. Or at least quite badly frightened by some shop dummies.

Meet the Doctor – average every-day time-hopping alien. Also known as Trouble-on-legs. That is to say, trouble with a capitalised, bold and italic 't'. If you stick around him, you are going to get blown up.

Living plastic is taking over the world! Or at least one high street clothes shop. This then gets blown up, courtesy of a certain pyromaniac Doctor. Who later drops by for a house call.

And in the 4th round of WWE we have, in the blue corner, the Doctor! Aaand in the red corner, the plastic arm!

Round one, ding!

And the arm appears to have the upper hand! (A/N I do apologise for that baaad pun). What's this? The Doctor cheated by using a gadget, and won! He then runs off after being suitably cryptic to the pretty girl following him.

Look mate, she's obviously interested in you, try not to snub her off.

So interested in fact, that she's looking you up on the Internet.

Now, she's off to visit someone who's obsessed with you. Do you have a fan club or something? Ok, don't answer that one.

WWE round five! Tug-of-War edition! Mickey-Rose's-boyfriend versus the Wheelie Bin!


Well, even bins get hungry I suppose.

Meet the plastic boyfriend! Who Rose must actually be quite blind to miss. Soo… what's it like, dating a plastic man? Oh, that's right. You don't find out because you get interrupted by 'Trouble-on-legs' aka the Doctor. Who, for some as yet unexplained reason pulls off plastic-boy's head. Maybe he's jealous.

So that's what fire-bells are supposed to be used for! Getting everyone outside in the event of a mad, headless, plastic guy with axes for hands running rampage and chopping everything to pieces. It all makes so much sense now! I know when to use a fire-bell!

No, Rose. Don't run out the obvious exit, that massive padlocked gate. Instead, go inside the randomly-placed battered blue box that looks remarkably like a used prop from the BBC.

Oh, wait. It is a used prop from the BBC! Although he insists on calling it a 'TARDIS'. Now, what did that stand for again?

'Trusty And Reliable Device' It's Sarcasm ?

No, must've been:

Take Another Ride, Doctor Isn't Sane ? ((1))

Now it's explained what he needed the head of plastic-boy for. Tracking the signal. Of course. I'm still going with the jealously idea.

It's also explained what he needs the beautiful girl for (A/N Get your minds out of that gutter! It's nothing like that!). He's too blind to see the 'transmitter' that's staring him in the face. Well, the back of his head. But he's an alien, they're supposed to have eyes in the backs of their heads, aren't they?

So, the new 'terrible two' discover that real-version-of-the-plastic-boyfriend is, in fact, still alive. Then Trouble-on-legs has a discussion with something that resembles the offspring of The Slime Horror and Flubber (or at least, that's what I think). The alien then does rather poorly in another wrestle against the plastic.

It's time to save the Doctor-in-Distress! Or something like that. By swinging Tarzan-style on a random chain. Of course. Couldn't she have just jumped on them from behind?

Then the place gets blown up. What did we say about traveling with Trouble-on-legs? But they escape, in the 'Travels All Roads, Deposit Insurance Spaceship.'

What now? Choices. Get rich from the compensation money and have a nice, if cowardly, boyfriend.


Risk life and limb getting blown up while trailing round after joy-seeking, slightly manic alien.

The alien, every time.


So, Summary of the Synopsis: They save the world, but nearly get blown up in the process.


((1)) If anyone out there can think of any TARDIS acronyms, I'd love to hear them. Review and tell me, I'll try and put them in. Hee, subtle way of getting people to review…

A/N That didn't quite work as planned. Try the second chapter as well.