IT WAS NOT ME; IT WAS MY EVIL TWIN
One of my son's tee-shirts, with the above print on it, inspired me to this story. The plot was nearly ready in my head when I went to take a shower and emerged with a different Snape. However, I decided to keep the title, though it is a bit misleading. I hope you'll enjoy. As always, I don't own anything, and I don't make any money.
Thanks to JK Rowling for creating all these characters, especially our beloved Professor Snape. I have to admit, though, that I like him better on Ashwinder than in the books.
The plot is completely AU. Voldemort is defeated before the sixth year at Hogwarts, and Dumbledore is alive.
As always, I apologise for certain clumsy expressions and poor English since it is not my first language, but German is. A great, great thank you, Lady Whitehart, that you agreed to do the beta reading again. Without your help, this story would not have been possible.
Severus Snape was in an extremely bad mood. Not that anybody noticed or paid attention to Snape's mood. Nobody had ever seen him cheerful. Due to an economy measure of the Ministry of Magic, the Apparition instructors had been retired and had not been replaced. Teachers at Hogwarts would now take over the instruction. A few minutes ago, Albus Dumbledore had saddled him with the supervision of the Apparition lessons for the sixth year's students.
Snape-ish had become a dictum for someone who was gruff and unfair. Probably some of his facial muscles didn't work at all, diminished because he did not use them.
Sometimes, he did smile though, but these smiles were dangerous and seemed to announce hell and damnation, or at least detention with Filch. Rumour had it that Snape had actually smiled at Professor McGonagall's and Professor Dumbledore's wedding, but probably that was just chit-chat. Granted, Snape cocked his eyebrows extremely well, but even that had become boring over the years. Although the sixth year students were not at all intimidated by Snape's usual sneering and smirking, they were careful not to irritate him since this would result in the deduction of House points. Everybody knew that he favoured his precious Slytherins even now that Voldemort had been defeated, and that any attempts to gain his attention by knowledge would only end in a disaster. Hermione Granger had tried that for years.
Minerva McGonagall glanced over her glasses and smiled. "I know you are looking forward to your Apparition lessons. I have to warn you though. This is a matter not to be taken lightly. Splinching can happen. This is dangerous and can even lead to the exposure of the Wizarding world. The Ministry will deal with misuse very strictly. Now – the Apparition lessons will be supervised by myself and Professor Snape as will be the tests. You will be divided into groups of six students."
With a flick of her wand names appeared on the blackboard.
Professor Snape's Group:
A little piece of parchment with information about time and location flew to each of the mentioned students. Harry groaned. Apparition lessons with Snape! Not enough that he had to endure him in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Harry's i former /i favourite subject, now Snape was haunting him in other classes, too.
Murmurs rose, and the Transfiguration professor clapped her hands. "Silence! The next group is mine for today."
She flicked her wand once more.
Again, little pieces of parchment flew to the students. Professor McGonagall tapped her wand impatiently on the board. "I do not want to waste further time, so we will continue with our usual lesson. All conversations between you can take place in your spare time. Now…"
"Can't wait to practise. It is so unnerving to see Fred and George Apparating everywhere in the house and mocking me," Ron whispered.
Harry nodded, not really paying attention to Snape's lecture when suddenly he heard something familiar. "Maybe, some of you have abilities so formidable that they feel confident enough to not pay attention."
"Whoa, nearly the same speech he gave me in my first year. He's really getting boring. Do you think he even notices?" Harry whispered in Ron's ear.
"Yes, he does, Mr. Potter, and he is nearly overwhelmed that you were able to memorise something from your first year at Hogwarts. One point to Gryffindor!" Snape smirked. "And twenty points i from /i Gryffindor for your insolence."
He should have known that Snape's remark was a trap. Shit! That was dumb; he had lost another nineteen points. Nevertheless, Harry was tempted to laugh out loud. This day would be marked as the day Snape had awarded a point to Gryffindor.
Pompuous arse! Harry thought. He tried to concentrate on Snape's lecture, but he was too busy imagining how to get back on Snape. He needed something really good so that Snape would have no clue what had hit him.
Harry did not know yet that his next visit at The Burrow would provide him with the means for his revenge. As usual, when Fred and George were not at home, Harry got to sleep in their room. It was really fascinating and always looked as if a bomb had exploded. Well, probably something had exploded since Fred and George still tested their inventions at home, calling it the safest location, not that their mother agreed. When Harry tried to shove his suitcase under George's bed, it stuck. He pushed again; it stuck again. Crouching down, Harry discovered a large purple box under the bed and pulled it out. Curiously, he opened it. It contained little boxes in all kinds of colours, as well as balls, balloons and sticks.
The door flung open, and Ron came in.
"What's that, Harry?" he asked.
"Dunno, I found it under George's bed." Together they inspected the box.
"Oh, I know," Ron said, "That's the box with inventions that don't work or are not finished yet. Look at this one. You remember the Metamorph medals somebody sold that did not work properly? I know Fred and George were working on those; they told me they were not far from the solution. And what is this?" They eyed a box containing a silver powder. Apparition Jinx – splinching - put together again - not working yet one of the twins had scribbled on top of the box.
"Mhm, not working? That has yet to be proven. If the powder does not work, nothing is lost," Harry said and grinned. "But just imagine Snape -- the conceited bastard -- unable to Apparate properly. This should be the perfect revenge."
They could barely wait for the next lesson. The only thing they had to do was dust a little of the silver powder in the Apparition hoop before any other students came in. Of course, they could not tell the third member of The Golden Trio, Hermione, either. For reasons unknown, she always defended Snape and would not support their prank. A pity, really!
"You will remember the three Ds," Snape lectured. "Destination, Determination, Deliberation. Today, however, we will practise what you should have learned in your last lesson. The majority of you will probably topple over when trying to turn on their heel. For those of you who actually manage this the major problem is Determination. You have been warned that a lack of concentration can end in splinching. I doubt that more than three of you will succeed in Apparating properly today. Although it is simple enough if you concentrate." Snape stepped into the hoop, smiling unpleasantly at his students.
I'd really like to see Potter splinched; he's as arrogant as his father. He is so convinced that now that the Dark Lord is defeated, he does not need to pay attention. A little voice in his head contradicted, He's a boy, Severus. He has had no parents and has had to endure much over the years.
As usual, Severus did not pay attention to that voice. He turned deftly on his heel and... Instead of Snape appearing in the other hoop after the inevitable pop , the students were appalled by a loud bang and silver sparks raining down on them. And then they saw Snape, no, not Snape, he had splinched… A heap of black fabric, four legs and arms, two heads... The mass tried to untangle itself, and the students looked at, well, they were not quite sure whether they could trust their eyes.
"What the... Take your nose out of... What...?" Snape barked, straightening up. Then he blinked, and blinked again. The picture remained the same -- he was looking at himself. His mouth opened, but no words came out.
After closer inspection, the second Snape was not really identical. He had glossy hair, and his skin was lightly tanned. He was surrounded by a kind of, well, small silver aura and, paradoxically, his whole frame looked slightly paler. Who, or what, was he?
"Who the hell are you?" Snape bellowed.
His twin grinned and scratched his chin, cocking an eyebrow. "Well, I'm you, as you are probably able to see."
"Nice trick," Ron muttered dryly. "Now we've got two Snapes. If one of them gets ill, we'll always have a backup. Just great!"
Still, Harry had not uttered a word. Two Snapes! This prank had backfired, indeed. He could not tell anybody; his classmates would kill him.
Eventually, one of the portraits shrieked, "Somebody call Professor Dumbledore!"
Filch, who had appeared at the entrance in the meantime, ran. Nobody had seen him run that fast ever. He nearly tripped over his cat.
"Professor Dumbledore! An Apparition accident! Professor Dumbledore!"
"There he runs," Harry finally muttered. "Snape's only fan. I can't imagine why he is devastated. Now he has two professors providing him with students for detention."
Hermione stood in shocked fascination, her hand before her mouth, watching the two Snapes. The genuine article wore his usual scowl while the other one looked rather amused. Noticing her stare, the latter even smiled in a friendly manner at her. Hermione blushed and bit her lower lip. He had smiled, really smiled, and that did something to his face she had not thought possible. But then again, she had thought of many things…
"Well, well," Dumbledore's voice cut through her thoughts. "Can you tell me what happened, Severus?"
"No. I tried to demonstrate Apparition and ended in a heap with this… thing," Snape spat.
"No need to be impolite, Severus," his twin interjected.
Severus gritted his teeth. "I do not remember being on a first name basis with you."
"Since I am you, this is only logical," Snape II replied.
Dumbledore's usually twinkling eyes looked thoughtful. "We seem to have a problem. Professor Snape, Professor Snape, please follow me." Then he raised his arms. "Today's Potions classes are cancelled. Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, please notify the other prefects."
While an enraged Severus Snape strode quickly after the headmaster, his twin strolled behind, obviously not worried at all.
The students remained, still shocked.
"Oh, shit," Ron muttered to Harry, "If they find out that we are responsible for this, we'll be expelled."
"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered after the three wizards sat down in the office. Snape's scowl deepened when his smiling counterpart took the lemon drop with obvious pleasure.
Albus Dumbledore glanced over his glasses and touched his lips thoughtfully. "You look slightly different. How can you say that you are him?"
"Well, maybe I did not explain this properly. I am not exactly him. I am a thought, a conscience, an idea, of how Severus could have been, should have been, become flesh.
"How dare you!" Snape interrupted, but Dumbledore silenced him.
"Please, Severus, I would like to hear him out. We will need a solution, and I fail to see how an insult could tribute to this."
"Well," Snape II continued, "whereas Apparition transports a person to another place, this accident was a spiritual transportation of Severus Snape how he was meant to be - that's me - into this world. How could this happen? I don't know, perhaps a prank. Now that I am thinking about it, you should probably try to analyse the silver powder on your shoes, Severus."