AN: Another one of my short little Jack/Rai things. I'm not so fond of this one, but I had to get it out of my system and into writing…seeing if maybe I could shake off the writer's block. Once again - don't expect a second chapter or sequel or what not, let's just let sleeping dogs lie (is that even the right idiom here?). Still thinking about an extended version of Summer Camp, which may or may not premiere in, well, the summer! So, yes, that's it, I hope you enjoy!
Ten O'Clock News
"That just about wraps up our show - thanks for watching Celebrity Knitting Circle; we'll see you next week! Coming up next, the ten o'clock news!"
Jack was inspired to turn the television off on the fast-talking announcer, but with a quick glance around his surroundings, he realized he was hardly in the position to do so. The remote control had been somehow been pushed off and halfway under the couch in his six-hour TV marathon, and, in any case, even if it had been in reaching distance, he wouldn't have been able to move much with the giant bowl of popcorn and king-size back of potato chips in his lap. The orange soda balancing carefully on his knee wasn't much of a help, either.
So, of course, Jack stayed where he was, and the television blared on. The news couldn't be that boring, could it?
Story after story bombarded Jack; the news anchor growing more obnoxious with each second. A murder in the capital, a high speed freeway chase, a bank robbery ten miles north, regular police reports in which Jack had no interest (although one or two of the suspects looked familiar...was that Tubbimura on that security camera?). Sympathy pieces on a dog who could fly an airplane although he was blind and walked on three legs, the oldest woman in the local Bingo tournament, the newest hot dog stand opening downtown. The weather tomorrow: cloudy, with a 30 chance of rain. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. What did Jack care about this?
Beginning to think that maybe it was worth the effort to get the remote after all, Jack leaned forward slightly, cautiously trying to balance everything on his lap. He was sliding his hand under the couch when the a sharply dressed Asian lady turned to the camera and spoke.
"And next on the ten o'clock news, a story of four remarkable teens who saved a small mountain village from a terrible landslide."
A picture of these quote-unquote-remarkable teens was flashed quickly on the screen, and though it only flickered for a few seconds, it didn't take a genius like Jack Spicer to figure out which remarkable teens these war.
His face moved quickly into a look of disgust. Those Xiaolin punks made the ten o'clock news? He just had to watch this...
Two minutes and three weight loss commercials later, the Asian lady was back, and Jack was watching the screen intently.
"Picture this: You're recently retired and have just bought a small mountain home in a tiny village. Life is perfect for you until one day when you realize the mountain above you is crumbling and about to destroy everything you hold dear. What do you do? You hope that the a small group of gadget-wielding kids comes to the rescue. Here's Kathy Newbrooker with the story."
The video flipped from the Asian woman to a sickeningly skinny blond, bundled up in fashionable mountain gear.
"Thanks Amy. I'm Kathy Newbrooker standing here in this quiet mountain village that just a few hours ago was threatened by a devastating landslide. Officials are unsure how the landslide started, but they do know how it ended, or rather, who to thank for stopping it."
The video feed changed again, and suddenly Jack was faced with an awfully familiar and awfully large round head. The grin on the tiny monk's face was growing larger by the second, and he peered into the camera as if he had never seen one before.
"So Omi," Kathy was saying, "You're the self-proclaimed leader of this group. Now tell us, how exactly did you save this village from almost certain destruction!"
"That is easy!" Omi said, raising a tiny finger into the air, "We merely altered the course of the landslide using our powerful She---"
The camera suddenly swung over, and it was soon clear that it had been pulled away from Omi by the force of a young girl with crazy big hair in a mountain outfit to envy that of Kathy's.
"Powerful...ly high-tech gadgets!" She said quickly, "We altered the course of the landslide using our powerfully high-tech gadgets!"
"Okay..." There was a hint of amusement in Kathy's voice. "You're Kimiko right? The one and only female of the group." Kimiko nodded, giving the camera a small smile. "Okay, Kimiko, tell us, what are some of the 'gadgets' you used to move the rocks away from the village?"
Kimiko froze. "Well...um..."
The camera cut away, and swung over to a rather large boy, who held a small object in his hand. "You - Clay, right?" The boy stared mutely at the camera. "That's one of your gadgets right there, isn't it? Tell us what does it do?
"Um...Clay?" Kathy whispered off screen.
The cowboy merely blinked. Camera shyness? Suddenly, another boy jumped in front of him, brown hair flying in front of his face. Flipping it away, he shone a bright smile at the camera. This boy was obviously not shy.
"This is called the Wand of Tatso! It's one of our newer, um, gadgets." He winked at the camera. "Basically what it does is transfigures the frequency of the rocks to a number neutral to the frequency of the ground and magnetizes the electrons into..."
"THAT'S COMPLETE B.S.!" Jack shouted, jumping up from the couch, spilled popcorn, soda and potato chips all over the carpet. "Those losers found a new Shen Gong Wu! Why didn't Wuya tell me? If she went floating back to Chase Young, well...well...well...I'll show her!" He was pacing now, back and forth across the living room floor. "That stupid reporter doesn't even know that what he's saying is complete crap! I bet she's just dazzled by his stupid smile..."
"You think my smile's dazzling?" A voice came from the opposite side of the room.
Jack whirled around, still in a rage. "No, I think your smile's STUPID!" Staring up at the Brazilian boy resting on one of the higher windows' sill, he narrowed his eyes into a glare. "How'd you get here?"
The boy flipped his hair in the same manner his TV self had only minutes before, and waved a covered hand at Jack - the Golden Tiger Claws.
The other boy growled. "Well, what do you want? Haven't you had your share of Shen Gong Wu for the day?"
Raimundo jumped smoothly down from the windowsill, "Not here for that, though we missed you at the showdown. Kicking Wuya's and Chase's butts isn't quite the same as kicking yours."
Jack's face fell. "So she did float off to him..."
A weak smile appeared on Rai's face. "Er, sorry. She did sort of let on that you didn't know...but that's why I'm here! Thought you might be lonely without your witch hag around."
Jack's eyes met Raimundo's for a split second, but he quickly glanced away. Was it just him, or was it getting hot in here? A small blush seemed to creeping on to his cheeks.
"Lonely? Me? Evil geniuses are never lonely!" He said, laughing weakly.
Raimundo raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm sure." He walked swiftly towards Jack, throwing himself over to land nicely on the couch. Stretching himself out on potato chip crumbs, he motioned towards the TV. "News is over - wanna watch some real TV?"
"Make yourself right at home, why dontcha?" Jack mumbled, kicking the fallen popcorn under the couch. He paused to pick up the remote, then continued his half-hearted cleaning.
Suddenly, the remote was snatched from his hand. "You make a better door than a window, eh, Jack?" Raimundo said, aiming the remote at the TV and craning his neck to see around him.
Jack rolled his eyes, grumbling, and stepped aside, making a graceful and sarcastic bow as he presented the TV to Raimundo. Raimundo, in return, moved his legs and returned to a normal sitting position, presenting the newly available seat to Jack. Huffily, Jack sat down.
"Don't you have your own couch and your own television back at your own home?"
Raimundo wasn't listening; he was too busy rapidly flipping through the channels, waiting approximately half a second before proceeding on to the next. Suddenly, he stopped short on a channel.
"Hey, Goo Zombies: The Movie, wanna watch?" He said, grinning at Jack.
Jack merely rolled his eyes and leaned back against the couch. If he couldn't get rid of the Xiaolin Loser, he might as well get a good movie out of it. "Honestly," he murmured, "Don't you have a temple to go home to?"
Even when Raimundo's arm somehow found its way around his shoulders, Jack's
attitude never changed. Leaning his head against the other boy's shoulder, he mumbled, "I should have just shut it off after Knitting Circle..."