Summary: They were just eating lunch and suddenly Itachi started crying.

Warning: MAJOR, MAJOR OOCness.

Dedicated to: Meheeners for getting my Kiriban on DeviantArt.

Spoilers: If you're not up to date with the manga there are spoilers.

RLN: (Prepares for the upcoming flames)

Disclaimer: NARUTO is copyright of Masashi Kishimoto.


Kisame sighed heavily. It was really dark in the Akatsuki lair. No windows, no lights, only small candles and torches. Not to mention creepy. He traveled through the dim, dark and damp corridors, the sleeves and hem of his clock floating behind him. He turned around the corner and headed towards the kitchen.

Kisame was training, Itachi was with him. Deidara and Sasori were currently on a mission in Suna, something about catching this badger or something crazy like that… Anyways, Zetsu was off being a creep or whatever, probably stalking people or something and Tobi was just nowhere to be found. The Akatsuki leader was never to be disturbed, so Kisame had no idea what he was up to. As for the other members, who knew what they were doing? The Akatsuki may work together, but they'll never be true comrades. You think for working with each other for more then 3 years, they'd get along better.

But no. The only friendly character was Orochimaru, and he was too friendly for comfort. Kisame shivered slightly. He was so glad the freak was gone. Especially since Orochimaru tried spending time with Kisame's compadre, Itachi.

Speaking of the mass murderer; that was part of the reason why Kisame was heading to the kitchen. The two partners were training—since they had nothing better to do with the Fox boy running everywhere—and after a long time of training, Kisame decided to go get something to eat. Being half shark (…?) he had to spend a lot of time eating. The shark man decided to get the Uchiha something too. The Sharingan master didn't exactly argue.

Kisame prepared two bento boxes, one filled with sushi for him, the other filled with various things for Itachi. He didn't exactly know Itachi's preference in food. He grabbed the bento boxes and headed back outside, where the latter was training. His feet left markings in the dirt floor as he walked by.

After a long time of walking through the halls, passing corners and climbing stairs like the lair was a labyrinth, the former Mist Nin made it outside. He took a breath of air. He was only inside for awhile, but in a place like the Akatsuki lair, he sure missed the fresh air.

The Missing Nin looked around a spotted a dark figure in the distance. He knew immediately it was Itachi. Who else could it be? Nobody knew of the Akatsuki grounds. Anyways, Kisame walked across the desert. He resisted the urge to sigh heavily. It was so hot, and these dark, black capes weren't exactly helping… Growing up in the village hidden in the mist, he was used to cold climates. And being half fish, he liked being by a lot of water.

But still, he didn't dare argue. He was a pretty brave guy and wasn't afraid to confront people, being a reckless guy, but as much as he hated to admit the Akatsuki leader's skills were way ahead of him (he is the leader after all, duh). He wasn't a coward; he just knew when he shouldn't bother.

It wasn't long before he approached his partner. The crazy-ass killer was standing there are cool and aloof, his back facing Kisame. The shark man through a bento box towards the Uchiha, and wasn't at all surprised when the sharingan user caught it almost instantly.

Although they were partners for a long time, they still knew little of each other. Kisame rarely revealed his past, Itachi the same. Though they had memories and experience with each other, they were never real 'buddies'.

So the two sat down ready to eat. Kisame unwrapped his bento box. He snapped his chopsticks apart and murmured gruffly, 'Itadakimasu'. He popped in the first piece of sushi. With the size of his mouth in comparison with the size of the food, he didn't bother to chew. He gulped. He would've preferred it if it was really raw was cut up but he dealt with it. It was hard enough to get sushi in Suna in the first place…

He had swallowed his fourth piece when he heard soft sniffling noises. He froze. He reached up and grabbed samehada's handle. It sounded so close… where was it coming from? How could anybody get near his presence without him sensing them? He assumed this ninja was skilled but dropped the idea when the sniffling was heard again.

Was this shinobi, villager or whatever the hell it was crying…?

"Itachi," Kisame hissed in a low whisper. "I think we're being followed."

"W-where?" the Uchiha replied. Kisame froze. What was with the tone in his voice? It sounded like he was…

It sounded like crying.

The shark man whipped around just in time to see the Uchiha rubbing his sharingan eyes with his free hand that he usually kept out of his sleeve.

"Uhm… were you just crying?" Kisame said in a blunt voice.

"N-no," said Itachi in a shaky voice.

"I disagree, your eyes are red," said the swordsman. He paused. He added, "Der."

"No they're not, y-you're imagining things," protested Itachi.

"Then why is your voice so shaky?"

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not!"


A silence filled the air.

Kisame pondered. This was the man who murdered his entire family without feeling any regret. What could be so horrible as to make him cry?

"So… uhm… what's wrong?" the shark man replied awkwardly. Another silence filled the air.

"Well this food…"

Kisame was anxious to hear his next words. What made the great Uchiha cry…?

"I miss mother."

Kisame stared blankly at Itachi.

"You're the one who killed her…"

"You don't have to rub it in!"

"Yeah but… why does this bother you now?"

"I guess it took me 5 years for my emotions to catch up with me."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Where are you going?" asked Itachi, when Kisame stood up.

"I'm going to go stab myself to see if this is a dream or not."

"Why not just pinch yourself?"

"Because if it's a dream, I'll wake up. If it's reality, I won't have to worry about my sanity because the knife will kill me."


RLN: Itachi acting uncharacteristically equals laughs. I'm not sure if this as funny as it should be (it's not) but I wanted to make it short and sweet so there.

This is a one shot, that's why it says 'THE END' so do NOT ask me to update. This is finished. Done. Gone. Bye-bye.