My thanks to campy for his wicked assistance …
Hank Perkins says: If you saw it on KP, Disney owns it.
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I have two story recommendations for you this week. Kim Possible: Raiders of the Lost Afikomen and Cursed Rollerblades, Monsters, and a Skinned Knee, both by Molloy. They're sweet, they're well-written, and they're guaranteed to make you smile.
Nobody was ever quite sure how it happened …
"Hola, Clan Possible!" a jaunty Ron Stoppable said in greeting as he strolled into the kitchen. He was in high spirits, having sloughed off the dark look he'd received from the patriarch of the house the previous evening; James Possible had not been pleased when he saw just how aggressively his daughter and her boyfriend were lip-smacking on the front stoop.
"Good morning, Ron," Ann Possible replied. "Breakfast?"
"Don't mind if I do, Mrs. P," he replied as he slipped an arm around Kim's waist. "And how is my bon-diggity girlfriend this morning?"
"Spankin'," she replied before giving him a kiss. As Kim brushed Ron's lips with her own, her tongue darted out and met his. The intended peck quickly became something more intense.
"Ahem," Mr. Dr. P said, clearing his throat and glowering at the two abashed teens. "You know Ronald, I'm finalizing the designs on a capsule for my new space probe. A lot of people in the scientific community would love to know what happens to a seventeen-year-old male when he crosses the event horizon of a black hole."
Two abashed looks were quickly replaced by two scowls. Mr. Dr. P's black-hole threats had increased in frequency as Kim and Ron became more physically demonstrative of their feelings for one another.
Kim was particularly annoyed by her father's comment. "Dad!" she hissed before turning to her BF. "C'mon, Ron. Let's go."
"But what about your breakfast?" Ann Possible asked.
"Don't worry," Kim answered, sounding put out, as she led Ron out of the kitchen by the hand. "I'll buy us breakfast burritos on the way to school."
"If you keep eating out, you'll never be able to afford that new jacket, Kimmie," her mother advised as the two teens left the house.
"If you keep eating out, you'll never be able to afford that new jacket, Kimmie," the auburn-haired teen hero mimicked. "You'd so think that with their combined incomes a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist could afford to buy their daughter a $200 jacket. I mean, I need that jacket! Everybody knows that blue is the new black!" she groused. "I'd pay for it, but it's not like I have time for babysitting between school and cheerleading and extracurriculars and saving the world."
"I wish I could afford to buy it for you, KP," Ron sighed.
"That's sweet of you, Ron, but I know you're busy, too. Working hard to pull up the grades, being the Mad Dog, saving the world with me, making sure I get my RDA of Ronshine," she said snuggling up to him as they walked down the street, "it all takes time."
"Yeah, and on top of it all, Mom now wants me to clean out the garage. Again," he complained. "I don't know where they get all that stuff. I'm convinced that evil garden gnome is behind this," he added darkly, "and it vexes me so."
There were many things that Kim and Ron liked about being seniors. Their class schedule, however, was not one of them. Kim was taking a number of advanced placement courses, which meant that she and Ron were apart for large parts of the school day. She missed having him in the same room from the beginning of homeroom until the end of the last class. Making matters worse, the way their afternoons were arranged, there were times they were on opposite sides of the building and wouldn't even see each other between sessions.
One of those Ron-less breaks had arrived when Bonnie crossed Kim's path.
"So, how's your loser boy toy, K?" the brunette asked caustically.
"He is not a loser, Bonnie!" Kim growled.
"But you're not denying that he's your boy toy! You know, Kim, you have such pathetic taste. You're a disgrace to the squad. You'd think you could at least date someone on the food chain …"
Kim was about to attempt a riposte when two things occurred to her: she had never bested Bonnie Rockwaller in a verbal joust and she and her high school nemesis were standing in front of a bank of full-sized lockers – and the one next to her was slightly ajar.
A grin began to spread across Kim's face. She opened the door, grabbed Bonnie and roughly shoved the brunette into the storage space.
"Hey! What do you think …" Bonnie began to exclaim, only to be cut off when Kim slammed the door shut on her.
"Stuff it, Bonnie," the redhead said pleasantly before walking away, ignoring the sound of her fellow cheer squad member banging frantically on the metal door.
Much to Kim's surprise, she found the whole experience quite refreshing.
Ron, meanwhile, was walking down the corridor when he happened across the conversation; it was coming from around the corner.
"I'm telling you, she's a psycho crazy chick …" somebody said.
Ron didn't like hearing guys talk about a girl that way.
"Yeah, I mean, she gets her kicks out of beating down guys," someone else agreed.
"Except for Stoppable!" a third person noted. "Man, who'd have thought he could handle a nut job like Possible!"
"If she's with him, she really must be some kind of freak," the first voice observed.
Ron seethed as the group broke out into raucous laughter. Then he made a left turn and approached the source of the objectionable remarks: a group of rather large football players.
"Hi guys!" Ron said cheerily.
"Uh, hi Stoppable," one of them said, mildly unnerved by the look on his face.
"Ya know, KP's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I do not like it when people say bad things about her," he said before he spun and slammed the first of the jocks against a locker with enough force to stun the defensive lineman. Then Ron turned and took down the second one with a kick that only a student of monkey kung fu would know. The third jock, the one who had called Kim a psycho crazy chick, was dumbfounded when Ron, finishing his kick, lashed out with a quick one-two punch combination and knocked him out.
Ron surveyed his handiwork. In a matter of seconds, he had just beaten up three of the largest students at Middleton High.
Much to Ron's surprise, he found the whole experience quite refreshing.
Neither Kim nor Ron was in the mood for class after their little dust-ups, preoccupied as they were with other thoughts.
Kim was worried about how Ron would react when he learned of what she'd done to Bonnie – and how good it made her feel. Kim Possible had always been about helping people; she wasn't supposed to hurt them. Kim was supposed to be better than Bonnie, not stoop so low as to make Bonnie look like a saint. Yet, the teen hero had pushed her fellow cheerleader into that locker and derived immense satisfaction from the act. Kim told herself that Bonnie so deserved it. Rockwaller called Ron, my Ron, a loser! What right did Bonnie have to say things like that? Kim wondered as she wandered the halls, hoping she'd be able to sort out her feelings and come up with an explanation before she found Ron. Somehow, she thought, telling Ron that I've learned that it was such the blast to pack Bon-Bon into that locker just isn't going to wash …
Ron was concerned that Kim would disapprove when she heard how he beat up three football players. He'd been pummeled by the D Hall guys all those years and called them bullies. Yet what was Ron now, if not a bully? Sure, they'd crossed a line – way crossed a line – with their comments about Kim, his Kim! Who did they think they were, saying things like that about the coolest girl in Middleton? Ron asked himself. Still, he was uneasy. How, he wondered, am I going to tell Kim that I just figured out how to use monkey kung fu to pound some meatheads, and that it was pretty badical?
They were both furtively walking the corridors, wondering how to explain their actions to each other, when they collided.
Each was taken aback by the guilty look on the other's face.
Kim decided to speak first.
"Bonnie dissed you and called you a loser and I so wasn't cool with that you are so NOT a loser so I stuffed her in a locker," she said at a staccato pace. "And, and I enjoyed it," she added softly, waiting for Ron to tell her he was disgusted with her and wanted nothing to do with her ever again.
She was taken by surprise when Ron said, "Uh, yeah, well look, KP, there were some guys in B Hall saying some not-nice things about you and I really didn't like that so, uh, well, I went all ninja on them."
"Ninja?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said sheepishly. "I played smack monkey with them. And, uh, it was, uh, actually kind of, uh, well, badical." Locking Bonnie in a locker was kind of cool, he thought, especially since Kim had done it for him, but using martial arts on three untrained opponents was so against everything Kim stood for. Ron braced for the inevitable. Kim would surely call him a thug and dump him.
"You did that because they insulted me?" she asked.
"Yeah, I know I shouldn't have lost my temper …" Ron answered.
"That is so ferociously sweet!" she cooed.
"Really?" Ron replied, nonplussed. He was sure he'd blown his relationship with Kim, but instead, she … nodded and flashed an electric smile at him.
"Well, it's not as sweet as what you did, KP," he said with a huge grin. "You really are one bon-diggity girlfriend!"
Kim and Ron stood there in the empty hallway and smiled, very wickedly, at one another.
"Badical!" "Spankin'!" they said in unison after which Kim threw her arms around Ron's neck, pressed him against a locker and began to kiss him. He responded with gusto, letting his hands roam, which only egged Kim on. This went on for a few minutes, and only ended when the two teens needed to come up for air.
"Boo. Yah," a very satisfied Ron said, much to the pleasure of his girlfriend, just before he spied the approaching figure of Steve Barkin.
"No PDA in the hallways!" their teacher barked.
Kim reluctantly broke her embrace of Ron, but still managed to stay close to him.
"Stoppable!" Barkin roared. "I just saw your handiwork in B Hall. And Possible, we just found Ms. Rockwaller."
"It's so not the drama, Mr. Barkin," Kim said reasonably. "She had it coming to her."
"Yeah, and those guys were completely out of line, Mr. B," Ron added.
Barkin was stunned. Possible was one of the school's best students, she was a leader, a role model. And while Stoppable had looked at him funny back in the ninth grade, the young man had been improving his grades. "I don't know what's gotten into the two of you, but as of right now, you've got in-school suspension, followed by detention, for the next three days …"
Kim and Ron frowned.
"… And don't tell me that cheerleaders don't do detention, Possible, since you're off the squad. You too, Stoppable. Now get yourselves to the detention room. NOW!"
Kim and Ron, fuming, made their way to their on-site prison.
"This tanks, KP," Ron said as he dropped into a chair. "You save the world over and over again. You think they'd cut you some slack."
"First of all, Ron we save the world; I couldn't do it without you," she countered as she took a seat beside him. "But you've got a point," she said disgustedly. "You know, we've never asked for money or a parade or anything. And they've never offered anything, ever …"
"Well, Smarty Mart did give you that hundred-dollar gift certificate …" Ron observed before he was cut off by his girlfriend.
"And how much do you think Team Impossible would have been paid for the same work? They just assume we'll show up and solve all their problems for them," she said grumpily.
"Yeah, you're right. The least they could do is give you that Club Banana jacket," Ron said. "And give us a pass from detention."
Kim looked around the room. It was just the two of them. She got up, sat in Ron's lap, and began to kiss him rather hungrily.
Steve Barkin entered the room and saw Kim and Ron were occupied.
"Okay! That's enough! This isn't Lover's Lane," Barkin snapped. "Stoppable, you sit over there," the teacher instructed, pointing to one side of the room, "Possible, you sit over there," he added, indicating a chair on the opposite side.
Kim seethed. She hadn't believed Ron when he'd first shared his suspicion that their teacher had borne a grudge against him since the ninth grade, simply because of the way Ron had looked at him. But Barkin had confirmed that belief during their junior year. Kim was now convinced that her boyfriend was in detention because of Barkin's irrational attitude. Maybe I deserve to be here, she thought, I did hit Bonnie, after all. But if those football players were saying those things about me, who else were they talking about? And how many times did they make fun of Ron? Those fat-headed jerks had it coming to them. Ron so doesn't belong in here.
Ron was furious. He couldn't believe Kim was in detention. Sure, he belonged here. He had assaulted three students, after all. But Bonnie? All KP did was put Bon-Bon in a locker. Heck, Kim probably saved some unsuspecting frosh from some insults, he told himself. Kim was only doing what the administrators should have done a long time ago – take Bonnie down a peg or two. They're probably playing favorites, can't handle the fact that KP can do so many things they'll never be able to do. She doesn't belong in here.
Reluctantly, Kim and Ron rose from their seats. Then, they exchanged glances in the way that only two people who had known each other as long as they had could. Words did not need to be spoken. Kim nodded, as if saying, I'm going to act, and Ron replied in kind, telling her he had her back.
Ron approached his teacher, assumed his drunken-crane stance and began to make some very distracting noises, which caught Mr. Barkin off guard. Next, rather than sit down in her newly assigned seat, Kim executed a perfect triple hand spring, landing behind the teacher and surprising him. As Kim landed, Ron came out of his pose, spun on his left foot and drove his right into Mr. Barkin's gut, staggering the former military man. Ron followed that up by grabbing the man's arm, spinning him around and flipping him, hard, onto the floor.
Before leaving, Ron knelt down and snarled into a stunned Steve Barkin's face, "Who's 'small and weak' now, tough guy?"
Kim and Ron quickly departed the school grounds, racing off on Ron's rocket-powered scooter. They retreated to the tree house, but only after hiding the bike in some nearby shrubs.
They clambered up the ladder into their aerie and immediately began making out.
"That sure beats Miss Whisp's trig class, KP," a goofily grinning Ron said.
"So glad to hear it, Ronnie," Kim said seductively as she pushed him down on the old sofa. She climbed on top of him and sighed contentedly as he ran his fingers through her hair.
"So, uh, KP, what's next?" he wondered.
"What do you mean, Ron?" she asked.
"Well, let's see," he observed. "Football players. Bonnie. And now Barkin. We kinda lost it back there."
"Yeah, we did," Kim agreed, reddening. She knew they weren't supposed to do that kind of thing. They were the good guys, teen heroes, the ones who saved the world. Yet it had felt so … satisfying. "You know, Ron, that was one spankin' move back there in detention," she said, beaming with pride.
"Ya think?" Ron asked, pleased by his girlfriend's praise.
"Take it from someone who knows sixteen kinds of kung fu. You rocked," she said, cupping his face. "Now shut up and kiss me."
Ron happily complied.
"Okay, here's the sitch," Kim said afterwards. "We're so busted. We can turn ourselves in, get long suspensions, possibly be expelled. If anyone files charges, I think we can kiss college goodbye …"
"… As far as the world-saving business is concerned, GJ won't hire us," Kim continued, "though I'm sure they'd be happy to stay out of our way while we do their job for them. And I'm sure Team Impossible will get a hold of this and smear our reputations, so the hero-for-hire gig isn't looking very viable."
"So if we want to help people we get to be uneducated, unpaid, and overworked?" Ron asked, unable to hide the note of incredulity from his voice. That just seemed wrong. Unlike what he'd done to Barkin and the football players, which actually seemed surprisingly, yet perfectly, natural.
"That's pretty much it. Plus we'll probably both be grounded until we die," Kim said, before the wicked grin returned to her face. "Of course, we could start thinking of ourselves and have some fun."
"Fun?" Ron asked, intrigued. He very much liked this previously unseen side of Kim's personality.
"That's right. Fun," she purred. "Ron, the world owes us, big time. It's time to collect. And I wouldn't mind settling a few scores." Kim was now reveling in how good it felt to stuff Bonnie into that locker. She could only imagine the rush she'd get from taking down Shego.
"KP, just what are you suggesting?" Ron asked.
"Well, Bad Boy, we've already got a tree lair," she suggested in a seductive voice, hoping Ron would come around on his own.
"Tree lair," Ron mused. "Hey, I like that. So, what, you're suggesting we go bad?"
"Well," Kim said as she brought her lips to his, "Let's just say I think it's time for us to turn over a new leaf …"
A/N: This story originally appeared in very short form on devART. I've decided to expand what was there. We'll just have to see where this goes …
Visit Kim and Ron Gone Bad at my devART webpage; just follow the link from my author profile.