Prologue: The end is worth the average.

A Naruto/Ranma crossover by Kuno-Baka... Kuno-Baby.

Also stunningly incomplete!

This story is dedicated to whoever wrote Naruto, and everyone but Slacker, out of spite. And also to every bad Naruto/Ranma crossover ever, because I love you guys!





scene change (revised – no stupid shifts)-

"Hair Girl."

"What?" Shampoo was not sure she had heard correctly.

"Hair Girl." Cologne repeated, drooling slightly.

"What is it, Great-Grandmother?" Shampoo said, confused.

"I have a plan to return my husband to our village!" Cologne said, triumphantly.

"Huh? You mean Shampoo husband, not your, Great Grandmother!" Shampoo exclaimed, worriedly.

"Huh?" Cologne replied, "What was I saying?"

Shampoo sighed. 'The only bad side effect of the old age technique, shrunken-no-jutsu: Senility.'


Ranma was having a great day. He had found joy, finally. Nabiki had taught him how to use the "internet" as it was called, and there was an online Jusenkyo catalogue! And they had Nannichuan water! Finally he'd be free of the curse!

As he whistled his way along the fence, a familiar bicycle horn and pogo-cane tap alerted him to danger. With a whoosh and a grunt, he ducked and dodged a thrown needle and rampaged Shampoo-on-a-transportation-device.

"You won't escape that easily, Brother-in-law!" Cologne's slightly insane voice reached his ears.

"You mean Son-In-Law, Great Grandmother!" Shampoo returned, more than a little peeved.

"Since when did you have any kids?" Cologne inquired, perplexed.

"No! Shampoo mean..." Shampoo trailed off, angrily clutching her face, partly to hide it, partly to remove some of the mad energy she had obtained trying to deal with her great grandmother, who had finally lost the last card in her deck-of-brain-cells.

"What's going on?" Ranma asked, both innocently and desperately.

"Aiya! Shampoo need help, subdue Great Grandmother!" Shampoo said, still trying not to explode with rage.

"Sub... due?" Ranma asked, both innocently and idiotically.

"Means to capture or disable!" Shampoo said, exasperated.

"Aha! I have finally captured you, Father-In-Law! With this technique I will return you to our village!" Cologne interjected, drunkenly. She raised her arms, and a blue light swirled erratically within her grasp.

With a shocking snap, Ranma reverted in age to six years old. Cologne shook her head, and refocused her eyes.

"You won't avoid my capture so easily, Crazy Uncle Jiro! Hiya!" Cologne once more raised her arms, and a pale red light, hazy and indistinct, wrapped Ranma within it's folds and with a slight pop, he was gone.

"Cackle, Cackle, Cackle," Cologne said, refusing to actually cackle, "Now you will be teleported to our home village of Konoha!"

"You mean Jokestsuzoku, Great Grandmother." Shampoo asked, worrying the more for the possibility that Cologne did not mean Joketsuzoku.

"Huh?" Cologne asked, perplexed, "What was I doing?"

Shampoo chose that moment to have a massive heart attack, brought on by high levels of imbalanced hormones and the current stress.


AN: So, did I do a good crazy? I will not be ending the story so soon – Indeed I intend to have a proper Ranma crossover. The problem? The way for Ranma to end up in Konoha, or at all in the Naruto world whatsoever, has thus far been pretty ridiculous. Actually, it was insane. I wanted to have a more serious story, but it looks like oddball humor and bad words win the day.