Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and definitely NOT Inuyasha…
A/N: This oneshot bit of silliness was the result of reading Nelson Bannaba's Jaken/Adult!Rin fic entitled 'Strange Love'. I encourage you to go have a look at it; not a usual pairing, but she puts an interesting spin on it!
The vision of Jaken in a white polyester leisure suit and toupee just wouldn't leave me alone. Sorry…
First posted on Live Journal, April 10, 2006.
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Jaken was discontented. Smoothing a small knobby claw over his newly-washed toupee, he glanced around the dimly-lit lounge while taking a sip of his Mai Tai. Couples, some human, some youkai, some a mix of the two races, were sitting together or slow dancing on the small under-lit floor.
Not a single prospect, he sighed, toying with the heavy gold chain that kept catching on the hair of the expensive chest-rug he'd invested in only the day before. He'd special-ordered it to complement the deep-vee neckline of his newest custom-tailored leisure suit.
Taking another sip of the vividly-coloured drink, his eye was caught by graceful movement just across the darkened room. Luckily for him that swallowing is a reflex, or he'd have dribbled bright fluid down the front of his immaculate white jacket as his jaw slackened.
She was gorgeous...a goddess...a girl...no…a woman, dressed in an exquisite white-patterned apricot dress that was snug enough to display a body that made any demon's knees go weak. If only I had knees to experience the pleasure, he mentally groaned while feasting his bulbous eyes on her luscious curves. Her long dark hair was swept to the side by a simple clip, and her moist pink lips had that slightly pouting appearance that almost screamed to be passionately pecked.
Jaken couldn't tear his eyes away as this vision of loveliness looked towards him, and began crossing the room in his direction, her brown eyes warm and inviting, her hips swaying sensuously. He couldn't believe his good luck when she slid onto the stool beside him and flashed a flirtatious side-long look before ordering a daiquiri; he frantically marshaled his thoughts. He needed an extra-special line, something really suave to begin reeling in this sleek beauty. Distracted by her pink tongue licking her full lips, he nearly lost himself in fantasies of his small, damp apartment ringing with her cries of pleasure...
The daiquiri was set in front of her, and the woman thanked the bartender with a dazzling smile that Jaken immediately wanted for himself.
She glanced his way as she plucked the long-stemmed cherry from her drink and popped it into her mouth. Jaken watched her, mesmerized, as her lips pouted and slid over each other, hinting at the activity inside her hot, wet mouth...
A moment later, she delicately removed the intact cherry from between her lips...the stem was now twisted into an intricate clove hitch. Balancing it between slim, manicured fingers, she smiled at Jaken knowingly, as the dazed imp was clearly imagining just what that nimble tongue could do to other parts of his anatomy.
He didn't resist when the woman took his hand and helped him off the tall barstool, then walked him around the bar to a quiet nook just behind the speakers. "Wh-what's your name?" he managed to croak as the rain-haired temptress effortlessly lifted and pinned him against the wall, her curves pressed against his.
"Rin" she breathed in his ear, and then she blew his mind with a plundering kiss that confirmed the dexterity of her tongue and gave promise of even more erotic delights to follow...as soon as he could get her to a less-public location. The kiss ended, and he was barely aware of her setting him down on his shaking legs, but he noticed when she moved that magnificent body away from him, and he felt bereft. The woman ran a teasing finger down the lapel of his somewhat-less pristine jacket before turning and sashaying away.
"Wait...but...you..." he spluttered, trying to make his brain and his tongue connect, when his grey matter was more interested in chatting with his groin.
"Thanks for that, mister." She winked over her shoulder at him.
"But wait! You're leaving? Now?"
"My girlfriends said I'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before I find my prince, so I started with you. Ta-ta!" She blew him a kiss, and was gone.
By the fifth hell... Jaken moaned, as a once-magnificent erection, the best in centuries, deflated rapidly, and he straightened himself before tottering back over to the bar to reclaim his now-diluted drink. Just when I thought I was actually going to get laid... then his brain kicked over what she had said.
"Hey! I'm a toad, not a frog, wench!"