Notes: Cookies to whoever finds the Fairly Oddparents reference. And I don't own Rent
"You know, you really didn't have to do this for us," Mark said he and Joanne cleared the dishes from the table. The boys had come out a few weeks ago, finally exposing their six-month relationship to Maureen and Joanne. It was Joanne's idea to throw the two a coming out party (Maureen opposed, claiming that no one had given her one) and tonight was the night. "But thanks, we appreciate it."
"You're welcome," she replied, setting the dirty dishes in the sink. "I'll wash these later. Let's go see what they're up to." She gestured her head towards the living room of hers and Maureen's apartment where Roger and Maureen were sitting.
Mark sat on the love seat, immediately wrapped up in Roger's arm, which he cuddled into. Joanne took a seat next to Maureen on the couch and leaned against her shoulder. She felt a light kiss on her forehead as Maureen welcomed her.
"Roger and I want to play a game," Maureen announced.
"A team game," Roger added. "Guys against girls."
Joanne chuckled. "It's like Gay Couples Night."
"We're not gay, we're bi!" Maureen, Roger, and Mark said unanimously.
Joanne raised an eyebrow, but in respect to everyone else's sexuality, she revised her sentence. "Okay fine. It can be Non-Heterosexual Couples Night."
"Better," Roger replied.
"Thank you," said Mark.
"What the hell is a heterosexual?" Maureen looked at her girlfriend perplexedly.
"It's someone who likes the opposite sex," Mark explained. "It's Latin roots and prefixes."
"Why the hell are you speaking Latin? If you want to speak Latin, go to Lat… Latvia."
Roger began snickering, but stopped when Mark's pointy elbow jabbed him in the stomach. "Ow…"
"Wait!" Maureen put her hand up to demonstrate her thought. "Latin. Pookie, isn't that what you talk about at work? That hay-bus corp-bus thing?"
Joanne bit her lip and nodded. "Yes, Maureen, that's exactly it," she replied quickly. Turning to the boys, she smiled. "So what game should we play?"
"Monopoly?" Mark suggested.
"Oh my god! Can we play Team Monopoly?" Roger asked.
"How do you play Team Monopoly?" Joanne inquired.
"Maureen and I would roll the dice and move the piece. You and Mark would control money and spending."
"Sounds good," Maureen agreed. "I'm terrible with money."
Flashing a look at Mark who seemed just as confused as she was, Joanne stood up to go get the game out of the closet. She quietly set up the board, stopping when Maureen yet another stroke of brilliance.
"Let's play Strip Monopoly!" Maureen cried. "When you land on an owned property, instead of paying rent, you pay with the owner's choice of clothes."
Roger snickered. "Paying the rent is for squares… like pants."
"I don't know about you, but I'd like to keep my pants on," Mark said, placing his hands on his legs, protective of his pants.
"Too bad," Roger said. "Besides, you look sexy without your pants. I bet Maureen will agree."
"Oh yeah, Marky," Maureen pouted, "you've got a real cute ass when it's naked."
The filmmaker blushed and mumbled something that sounded like "fine."
"I call the dog!" Maureen yelled when Joanne pulled out the pieces.
"Oh come on, no fair!" Roger cried. "I'm always the dog. You know that."
"Well I called it," she taunted.
"Maureeeeeeeen!" he whined. "I wanna be the dog!"
"No one will be the dog," Joanne settled the fight. She selected two pieces from the tray and set them on Go. "Mark and Roger will be the thimble. Maureen and I will be the iron."
"Those are like the two suckiest pieces in the entire game." Roger frowned and crossed his arms.
"Yeah really. God, Joanne, you're so boring," Maureen agreed.
"I've always kind of liked the thimble," Mark added, offering Joanne a smile.
"I call first!" Roger shouted.
"We will roll for first," Joanne stopped a fight from starting. She picked up the dice and rolled a nine. She handed them to Mark who rolled a five. Maureen grinned and stuck her tongue out at Roger.
"Mark you suck," Roger said bitterly.
Leaning over to Roger's ear, Mark whispered almost inaudibly, "You won't be complaining about that later."
Roger grinned wickedly as he picked up the dice from the middle of the board. Maureen and Joanne had landed on and bought St. Charles Place. Joanne said that the magentas were a wise investment and were often landed on coming around the corner to free parking. Maureen nodded and selected the property from the pile.
Roger rolled snake eyes. "Five hundred dollars!"
"What?" Mark and Joanne looked at him quizzically.
"When you get snake eyes, you get five hundred dollars," he explained. "Duh."
"Where did you hear that rule?" Mark asked.
"It's common sense," he shrugged him off. "Now where's my orange money?"
"Uh no," Joanne said.
"Joanne isn't fun when you play Monopoly," Maureen explained. "She leaves out all the fun rules. Like the snake eyes one."
"Damn," Roger said, picking up his community chest card. "Sweet, twenty bucks for income tax."
Joanne handed him the money and Maureen picked up the dice, rolling again.
After a few turns around the board, a fair amount of properties had been purchased and although not much money had been made, there were quite a few garments in the clothes pile. Everyone had lost their socks and shoes, and Joanne had demanded the removal of Roger's shirt (not that he minded showing off his muscles and flexing for everyone).
"Shit," Maureen said when Joanne moved the iron onto Boardwalk. Roger had done a little dance when he rolled that one which involved Maureen calling him a cheater. Everyone was so possessive about the dark blues, a concept that Mark never really understood.
"Shirt," Roger said.
"You're such a guy," she playfully shot him a dirty look.
"I know," he grinned. "Now take your shirt off."
She sighed and slowly pulled off her yellow long sleeved tee. Mark squirmed and blushed from where he was sitting. "Your roll, boys," she leaned over, placing the dice in Roger's hands. That roll cost Mark his shirt and Roger his belt. The next roll, he wasn't so lucky.
"Pennsylvania Avenue with a house," Joanne mused. "What should I take?"
"Can I pick?" Maureen grinned evilly.
"Go for it."
"Marky, baby, I want your pants."
A deep crimson blush crept onto his cheeks. "Do… do I have to?" he asked quietly.
"Yep." All three were unanimous.
Mark stood up slowly. He tentatively undid the button and pulled down the zipper. In the longest minute of his life, his pants were down around his ankles before he kicked them off. As he stood there, he could feel the burning crimson on his cheeks spread to his neck and chest.
Joanne politely looked away. Maureen doubled over in laughter. Roger gaped.
Calming herself just long enough to get a few words out, Maureen asked, "Where'd you get those, Marky?"
"Don't complain," Roger said.
Joanne remained silent.
Sighing, Mark began to explain. "They're Roger's coming out present. For tonight after the party." He suddenly felt stupid for purchasing a zebra print thong with the intent of wearing to a party his ex-girlfriend was throwing for him. He glanced at Roger, not liking the look on his face at all.
"Excuse me," he said. In one hand he grabbed Mark's wrist and in the other he reached over to the coat hook and grabbed Mark's scarf before forcing him into the nearest bedroom.
Maureen and Joanne could hear a struggle which ended with a "Untie me now, Roger!" from Mark before the musician returned.
"Well, ladies, this was a great party. Mark and I appreciate and thank you very much for this lovely dinner, but we're a little preoccupied at the moment." Handing Maureen her shirt, he pulled the girls up and lead them to the door. "Bye girls, see you tomorrow."
"Wait, Roger…" Joanne tried to get out before he shut the door on him. "This is our…" SLAM "…apartment."
"And that was our bedroom."