Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related. All of that belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
S.Z.: Well here we go, this was my very first KakaSasu fic and I hope it turned out okay! I really hope you guys like it!
To Love Again…
It had been a while since he had returned. Sure he was punished for the longest time since he got back, but it was going to be a new year soon and it was time to put the past all behind them. Sasuke was 19 now, and he was ready to see how everyone had changed since he left a bunch of years ago…
He got out of his arrest and was ready to see the world. He wanted to see his old team. He wanted to see how Sakura and Naruto had changed. He wanted to see if they were the same as ever: annoying as hell. He smirked as he walked down an abandoned street.
You see, when he returned, he wasn't aloud to see anybody that he used to be with. He was punished immediately for abandoning the village and had been for about two months now. He knew how people would look at him when they saw him walking on the streets so he kept to the more deserted streets of the village.
Sasuke looked around and saw how everything had changed in his absence. Boy, did it all look different or what? He kept on his trail and seemed to gravitate towards a certain apartment. He looked up at it.
"I wonder if Naruto still lives here?" he asked to himself.
"Why would you want to know?" said a familiar voice from behind him. It had gotten deeper but he could have never forgotten that voice. Sasuke turned around.
"I-it is you…" stuttered Naruto as he saw the raven haired boy turn to face him. They eyed each other. It really had been such a long time since they had seen each other, too long even.
"Yeah… it's me…"
Sasuke felt inhuman as he looked at Naruto. He felt like he had no place whatsoever here anymore. He especially felt like that because of the way Naruto was looking at him but then the tables turned.
"Welcome home…" he gave a warm but goofy grin.
Sasuke felt at home now… it really was the same when it came down to it.
The two boys walked and talked for hours. It really was nice to catch up with an old friend. Sasuke really did value the blonde's friendship now, even though his heart still felt as cold as ice.
"Sasuke?" called a voice in shock as they turned a corner.
It was the ever so familiar strawberry blonde.
"H-hi Sakura…" said Sasuke.
"Oh Sasuke!" Sakura ran and threw her arms around him. "I missed you so much Sasuke…" she sniffed, crying into his shoulder.
"Sakura…" Sasuke held her tight; he also valued her friendship now.
The now reunited team 7 walked to the place where they had their first training session.
"It's been forever…" said Sakura.
"Yeah…" said Naruto.
Sasuke said nothing. His heart still felt cold and with more information he'd learn, the more his heart would solidify. He felt a bit intrusive as he talked to his old friends.
"Guess what Sasuke…" said Naruto.
"Tell him Sakura…"
Sakura blushed. With that Sasuke knew what was going on, and his heart just dropped into the depths of the ocean and sank just like the boulder that his heart had become.
"Well… I guess I'll have to go home now…" said Sasuke after a little while longer.
"Okay then…" said Naruto.
Sasuke got up but was suddenly stopped by Sakura.
"What?" asked Sasuke.
"There's a New Year's party tonight… it's at the old academy… would you want to go?"
"I'm not sure…"
"It would only be the old gang…" said Naruto putting his arm around Sakura's shoulder. "Come on. Oh, and Kakashi-sensei is gonna be there too. I bet you'd want to see him again as well…"
"Come on…" said Sakura.
"Well… all right…" said Sasuke finally agreeing.
"Great! It starts at 7 o'clock tonight at the academy. See you then" said Sakura. And with that she and Naruto took off but not before she called to him in the distance once more:
"And don't forget to wear something formal!"
Sasuke gave a wave of consent and then went in the direction of his house.
He got in his house and it was just as cold and lonely if not more since he had left. He walked down the halls of the huge house and found his room.
He went in the room and he could see how it had aged. The dust was caked on the floor and the white sheets were a little more off-white. He went over to his closet and opened it. The dust that came with it made him sneeze as he brushed it all away. He looked inside at all of the clothes that he once wore. It all looked way too small for him to wear now so he took it all out and put it in a pile on his bed. There was one garment left in the closet.
"I forgot that I had this…" he said to himself.
It was a black formal kimono for a man. It also carried the symbol of his cherished clan: the Uchiha clan. He had gotten it a long time ago as a gift that he was told he would grow into one of these days and they were right. He may have forgotten who had given it to him but he sure was happy about whoever did. He went to go wash it.
So he got ready for the party and wondered what would be in store for him when he would get there. For some reason he was really excited to see everyone. He was also eager to see his old sensei: Kakashi-sensei. He hadn't seen him since he came back. He wasn't even there when he got arrested which he though he would for Kakashi is at a high rank but no. Now he wondered if he was the same as ever and if he still read those books he always used to read (that pervert… heh.)
So he was out the door and was walking to the party. The village was also different as the sun was setting. He stopped in front of the door and braced himself before he went in. He pushed on the door and stepped in.
It was all a blur to him as he walked in there for the first time in years. Heads turned in his direction. Then he completely realized who was with whom and what had happened in his absence. He felt out of place though and he felt very uncomfortable as he walked to stand next to the wall.
Life had moved on in his absence and it was as if he had been left behind by time. He had come back here expecting that everything would be exactly the same as before but it wasn't, it was all different. Until of course a familiar sensei came walking by reading a recognizable book.
"Oh… hi Sasuke…" said Kakashi simply as he poked his nose above the book. He still wore that mask, and he still acted flaky and he still looked the same and sounded the same although tonight he was wearing a dress kimono as well. Finally it was something that was the same as before and as he stood next to the older man, Sasuke felt more at home than he ever did.
Kakashi stood beside him the whole party without speaking to him. Nobody else had spoken to him either and he still felt out of place, like some geek in a cool area…
The people began to exit as Kakashi still stood in the same place. Sasuke wondered why he didn't leave like the rest of them and just leave him there and leave him behind. He was about to say something when Kakashi beat him to it.
"Would you like to come back to my place… you know, to catch up on old times…"
Sasuke's heart thawed a little. Somebody actually wanted him there and didn't push him away or move on. Sasuke was completely ready to go over to his sensei's house and talk… he was ready to talk for hours.
The walk to Kakashi's house was long and silent but Sasuke felt the most comfortable than ever with him right now. He felt that he would be going to the right place. Sasuke had felt out of place ever since he had began talking to his old friends and even though they seemed welcoming enough, Sasuke still felt the most vulnerable he had ever felt. He had no rock, no support. That's why he clinged to Kakashi right now, because he felt an air of understanding between them without any words being spoken. He knew that Kakashi would make him feel good about himself and that he would be safe in Kakashi's watchful eye. Kakashi didn't expect anything from him…
So they got in the house and Sasuke then realized that he had never been in there before. The house though felt familiar; like it was inhuman and cold but then it hit him. This house was exactly like his home and he knew how it was to live in a place like that. He felt a bit of pity for Kakashi, living like this a lot more than what Sasuke had. They went into the living room where Kakashi went and sat on the floor next to the coffee table. Sasuke went and sat beside him.
He looked at his sensei and noticed that he had taken his mask off.
"Sasuke so… how are you since you've gotten back?"
"It's been alright I suppose but it's just not the same…"
"Well, that's exactly how I feel when I'm on missions for months at a time. You feel out of place right… like nobody wants you here…"
Sasuke was surprised that Kakashi understood him so well. He had always thought of Kakashi as carefree and flaky and stuff but the truth is, Kakashi has suffered through similar things and he feels the same feelings that Sasuke himself feels at the very moment.
"You know Sasuke…"
"You know… you always have a place with me…"
"I do…?" said Sasuke in shock.
"Of course… since we're so much alike… I think that it's safe to say that we deserve a place in each other's heart… don't you think…?"
Sasuke didn't know how to reply and he also couldn't pinpoint why he began to well up with so much emotion. Here he was, sitting in front of a person that felt just as inhuman and cold as he did. It was a mutual feeling in the room and Sasuke wanted to suddenly stay with Kakashi and tell him that they would always be fine together. Kakashi had helped him countless times in the past but now he felt obligated to help him as well… to repay the favor and maybe give himself a little but of hope as well. He leaned in and kissed Kakashi's lips gently while slightly pulling down the shoulder of his former sensei's kimono as he placed his hand there.
"We do…" said Sasuke as he pulled back.
"Thank you…" said Kakashi as he pushed on Sasuke's back pulling him closer.
Sasuke leg peeked out of the kimono as he leaned in more. His arm escaped his kimono as he wrapped his arm around Kakashi's neck and kissed him fervently. Kakashi locked his arms around the younger man and locked their bodies together as their loose fitting clothes began to fall off their shoulders on their own.
"We'll be each other's reason for living…" said Sasuke as they looked into each other's eyes.
"And we'll be each other's reason for returning…" said Kakashi back.
They each gave the other a reassuring smile that would make their hearts melt. They each knew what the other was thinking, what the other wanted. Kakashi took the sash off from around Sasuke's waist as he also pulled of the raven haired boy's underpants, bearing the boy to him. Sasuke looked perfect to him and he had no clue that something like this is what he wanted his whole life.
Sasuke felt the same way as Kakashi was bared to him. He looked at his former sensei and despite all of his scars he saw how perfect he was. Sasuke's heart was beating ten thousand miles a minute as Kakashi pulled him down on the floor on top of him. He felt their members brush past one another and it only served to make him want Kakashi even more, in everyway possible. He wanted Kakashi's body, his life, his emotions and all the love that he was capable of giving; Kakashi was thinking the exact same way about his new found lover.
Although the question is: is either of them even capable of loving anymore? After all that they had went through after all that they had experienced together and what they were experiencing now, could they really say those three words that would bond them together? They both wanted this for the rest of their lives to give them a reason to live and so they both made up their minds…
Kakashi felt Sasuke close in around him as he felt Sasuke in his hand. Their heartbeats were one as they were pushed so close together they couldn't tell. Sasuke could feel Kakashi's hard body against his back while Kakashi was sacrificed to the absolute ecstasy that was Sasuke Uchiha. They reached their peaks and began to calm down.
Kakashi pulled out of Sasuke and Sasuke quickly made Kakashi hold him for he didn't want this man to leave him and abandon him like all the rest. They lay on one kimono as they were covered by the other.
"Never let go…" said Sasuke.
"You don't have to worry about that…" said Kakashi.
"Kakashi, I… can I tell you the truth…" said Sasuke as his voice was weak from exhaustion.
Sasuke turned in Kakashi's direction and locked eyes with him.
"I want to tell you something but I don't know if it's all that real or if I'm just saying it for comfort…"
"Well… just say it and I'll tell if it is or not…" said Kakashi ruggedly.
"…I-I love you…"
"It might be jumping a bit on our feelings but… it's definitely not for comfort… it's very real and I… love you too. We'll be able to peace back our lives together and maybe one day… we'll be able to really mean it when we say those words again someday…"
Kakashi was right. If they kept their promise to each other, they would be able to love again one day, and that was purely real; nothing more, nothing less…
S.Z.: Please review! It makes me smile!