Disclaimer: I don't own Rent.
Notes: The smut scene at the end was written by cameragirl.
"What's that?" Roger inquired as Mark sat down across from him at their lunch table in the back of the cafeteria.
Mark looked at the tray. "It's my lunch," he replied, as if it wasn't already obvious.
"That," Roger pointed at the green can on the tray in front of Mark's sandwich.
"It's Mountain Dew. What does it look like?"
"You shouldn't drink that. It's bad for you."
"Everything is bad for you nowadays."
Roger wasn't having it. "No, I mean, Mountain Dew is bad for guys."
"Does is really matter? Can't I just eat my lunch in peace without you getting on me about my eating habits?"
Roger shook his head. Leaning over the table, he swiped the can away from Mark and placed it next to him on the bench. "You can't drink it."
Mark was getting angry. "Then can I at least know why I can't drink it?"
Roger looked around. Most people in the cafeteria ignored them and stayed away from this part of the cafeteria, so it was no surprise to Roger that there was no one to overhear Roger's Mountain Dew knowledge. "It lowers your sperm count," he said quietly.
Mark blinked. "Why do you care about my sperm count?"
Roger rolled his eyes. "The fact that I'm your boyfriend has absolutely nothing to do with it," he replied sarcastically.
"Do you think about anything other than sex and music?"
"I think about you a lot," he replied, "and how cute you look when you're pissed off."
Mark softened a little. Roger always knew how to chip away at his anger. "If I promise not to drink it anymore, can I at least have that one last can?"
"Fine," Roger compromised, handing over the soda. "What's so great about it anyway? It's green. Soda shouldn't be green."
"It's good." Mark opened the soda and took a sip. "Mmm, Mountain Dew! Sooooooo good!"
Roger rolled his eyes. "What did your mom say about spending winter break at my house? Does it interfere with your Hanukkah celebrations?"
Mark shook his head. "Hanukkah ends on Christmas day this year and it would be okay if I missed the last day. She said as long as your mom doesn't mind, I can come over Christmas until the day before break ends."
"Well, my mom and Sammy are spending the week at my grandma's, so she won't be there to mind your presence."
"Cool," Mark replied, "but if my mom asks, we will be supervised at all times."
"Of course," Roger replied. The two of them were used to lying to Mrs. Cohen about their supervision. Not that they did anything ridiculously irresponsible or illegal, but Mrs. Cohen certainly would not approve of what usually went on in Roger's bed when no adults were present.
"This just isn't working," Roger rolled off Mark and onto the bed.
"Sorry," Mark muttered, ashamed and embarrassed. He pulled the sheets over himself and rolled over. "It's never been like this before."
"I know," Roger said, smirking. "So much for the high holy days."
Mark rolled back over and cuddled against Roger's arm. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I can't get it up and keep it up."
Roger sat up. "It's because you drink too much Mountain Dew."
"I haven't had any since you told me not to drink it anymore. And besides, what does my sperm count have to do with my inability to hold an erection?"
"It's all connected somehow," Roger replied, not that he knew much about the scientific part of the male anatomy.
"Well, what do you want me to do, call a doctor?"
Roger's eyes widened. Doctor. It triggered his memory back to the same article he had read of the dangers of Mountain Dew. "Yes, Mark, that's exactly it." He grabbed Mark's arm and pulled him out of the bed, both boys walking naked down the hall.
"What? Rog, no, I am not going to a doctor because of this. I'm only sixteen, this'll probably go away.
Roger wasn't listening. He dragged Mark into the kitchen and rifled through the refrigerator. "A-ha!" He stood up, a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand. "Drink this."
"In the same article I read about Mountain Dew, it said that Dr. Pepper did the opposite. It'll fix this, I know it."
"Roger… I don't know." He took the can from Roger.
Roger grabbed Mark by the shoulders and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Chug a few cans and then meet me upstairs, okay?"
Before Mark could reply, Roger was already running back upstairs. Shrugging, he did as he was told. He quickly gulped down three Dr. Peppers before realizing that he was standing naked in Roger's kitchen. Great, he thought, now I'll never be able to eat dinner with a straight face in the Davis' kitchen again.
Walking quietly back into Roger's room, the budding musician seemed to be asleep. Mark cuddled himself with Roger's arms around him. Suddenly, Mark was flipped over and Roger was lying on top of him.
"You didn't think I was going to check? Marky, we need to make sure you're in working order." Roger smirked.
In a few minutes, Mark was hard and inside of Roger. The moans coming from the blonds were getting louder as he hit him right every time. Mark released Roger, who gathered him in his arms.
"That was… wow. I'm having you drink Dr. Pepper more often." Roger smiled and rolled Mark under him so they both gently fell asleep.