My Lover Is Mentally Deficient
Disclaimer: Farscape is very much not mine.
Notes: I don't know why I wrote this. It just... happened.
Thanks: My Beta reader Erin Cale, as always.
"N'Say! N'Say! N'Say!" A large crowd cheered rowdily as a rather pretty yellow skinned talk show host emerged from the shadows. She stepped out on to the stage, her large green eyes looking out at her admirers.
"Good afternoon, and welcome to the N'Say show." She said formally, "The topic of today's program is 'my lover is mentally deficient. Now, lets bring out our first guest, Officer Aeryn Sun. Come on out Aeryn!" At her cue Aeryn stalked stiffly out onto the stage. At N'Say's urging she sat down in a plush green chair. "Aeryn is a former officer in the peace keeper corps." N'Say explained, "She now resides on living ship full of escape prisoners. Now Aeryn, tell me about your mentally deficient lover."
"His name is John Chrichton" Aeryn started somewhat unsure of herself. "He is a human, from a planet on the other side of the galaxy, known as erp."
"How did you fall in love with John?" N'Say asked.
"He... I was going to face death among my fellow Peacekeepers, and he told me I could be more."
"Awww" said the audience appreciatively
"Yes... Yes... now explain to us his deficiencies." N'Say urged Aeryn to get to the good stuff.
"He well... has all these strange sayings like... 'slicker than snot', or 'your making hamburger there' that he fully expects me to understand. Then there are his constant references to things like 'star wars'." Aeryn shook her head.
"How does this make you feel?" N'Say asked solicitly.
"What do you mean 'how does that make me feel'? It makes me feel like he's mentally deficient. That should be obvious!"
"Emotions Aeryn! We need Emotions!"
"Alright... confused, sometimes annoyed." Aeryn said flatly.
"Does it make you sad?"
"No."
"Do you need something to wipe away your tears?" Aeryn gave N'say an incredulous dry eyed stare.
"No." N'Say seemed frustrated.
"Well lets bring John out!" John emerged on to the stage, and took a seat next to Aeryn. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. The crowd went wild.
"Now, John, we have brought you here today because Aeryn here would like to tell you something." N'Say explained. John nodded.
"You can't be serous." Aeryn stared angrily at N'Say. The Talk show host merely nodded.
"Your mentally deficient." Aeryn's voice was flat.
"So, you think I'm deficient baby?" Chrichton asked. Aeryn merely shrugged. "Well then why do my plans always work?"
"Your plans never work!" Aeryn retaliated. N'Say rubbed her hands together greedily. Fights were good for business. John picked up his chair, wielding it angrily as he moved towards Aeryn. Aeryn jumped up pinning him to the floor and punching him on the face as security dragged them off the stage. Dimly she heard N'Say announce her next guests.
"Ow." John murmured backstage.
"Why the frell did you try to attack me?!" Aeryn's voice was angry.
"It's a talk show Aeryn... that's what I'm supposed to do." Aeryn turned to him furiously.
"You are so... mentally deficient!" She exclaimed. John smiled kissing her on the cheek.
"I know... that's why you love me."
Disclaimer: Farscape is very much not mine.
Notes: I don't know why I wrote this. It just... happened.
Thanks: My Beta reader Erin Cale, as always.
"N'Say! N'Say! N'Say!" A large crowd cheered rowdily as a rather pretty yellow skinned talk show host emerged from the shadows. She stepped out on to the stage, her large green eyes looking out at her admirers.
"Good afternoon, and welcome to the N'Say show." She said formally, "The topic of today's program is 'my lover is mentally deficient. Now, lets bring out our first guest, Officer Aeryn Sun. Come on out Aeryn!" At her cue Aeryn stalked stiffly out onto the stage. At N'Say's urging she sat down in a plush green chair. "Aeryn is a former officer in the peace keeper corps." N'Say explained, "She now resides on living ship full of escape prisoners. Now Aeryn, tell me about your mentally deficient lover."
"His name is John Chrichton" Aeryn started somewhat unsure of herself. "He is a human, from a planet on the other side of the galaxy, known as erp."
"How did you fall in love with John?" N'Say asked.
"He... I was going to face death among my fellow Peacekeepers, and he told me I could be more."
"Awww" said the audience appreciatively
"Yes... Yes... now explain to us his deficiencies." N'Say urged Aeryn to get to the good stuff.
"He well... has all these strange sayings like... 'slicker than snot', or 'your making hamburger there' that he fully expects me to understand. Then there are his constant references to things like 'star wars'." Aeryn shook her head.
"How does this make you feel?" N'Say asked solicitly.
"What do you mean 'how does that make me feel'? It makes me feel like he's mentally deficient. That should be obvious!"
"Emotions Aeryn! We need Emotions!"
"Alright... confused, sometimes annoyed." Aeryn said flatly.
"Does it make you sad?"
"No."
"Do you need something to wipe away your tears?" Aeryn gave N'say an incredulous dry eyed stare.
"No." N'Say seemed frustrated.
"Well lets bring John out!" John emerged on to the stage, and took a seat next to Aeryn. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. The crowd went wild.
"Now, John, we have brought you here today because Aeryn here would like to tell you something." N'Say explained. John nodded.
"You can't be serous." Aeryn stared angrily at N'Say. The Talk show host merely nodded.
"Your mentally deficient." Aeryn's voice was flat.
"So, you think I'm deficient baby?" Chrichton asked. Aeryn merely shrugged. "Well then why do my plans always work?"
"Your plans never work!" Aeryn retaliated. N'Say rubbed her hands together greedily. Fights were good for business. John picked up his chair, wielding it angrily as he moved towards Aeryn. Aeryn jumped up pinning him to the floor and punching him on the face as security dragged them off the stage. Dimly she heard N'Say announce her next guests.
"Ow." John murmured backstage.
"Why the frell did you try to attack me?!" Aeryn's voice was angry.
"It's a talk show Aeryn... that's what I'm supposed to do." Aeryn turned to him furiously.
"You are so... mentally deficient!" She exclaimed. John smiled kissing her on the cheek.
"I know... that's why you love me."