Cafeteria Food: To Eat or Not to Eat?

Written by: Saskura-Chan

Edited by:

A/N: This was originally a free write journal thingy I did in school. It was originally me and my friends names so I just changed the names and added some more dialogue so it could serve it's purpose. Also since this was originally written for my friends and me it is arguable that some of the characters are well out of character well I personally don't think its that bad. I think the only person that seems not right is Sakura and that's cuz she got my dialogue and anyone who got my diologe would of seemed out of character excepted maybe Naruto but you wouldn't want him to sit next to Sasuke now would you? .

This story detected: To all my homies at Lapeer West who sit at the second table from the door in the lunch room

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto however I do own this rather "interesting idea"


Reading may result in lack of aptitude, nightmares, wanting to do 'things' with cafeteria food, and god know what else. The following has strong explicate content and may not be expectable for children. Viewer desecration is advised.

Cafeteria Food: To Eat or Not to Eat?

"I-I think it's s-still alive." Remarked Hinata as she poked at her school lunch. Her burger was tinted green and seamed to sway side to side like jello.

"Its not that bad." Kiba said who was 'attempting' to eat what appeared to be a chicken nugget when he gagged, turned blue, and feel over. No one seemed to notice though.

Across the table Sakura was studding her milk carton with slight interest. She shook it and when the 'milk' inside made a sliding sound she came to a hypothesis. "Milks expired," she said bluntly.

"How do you know?" Tenten asked as she looked up from her food that had been dancing on her tray. Neji who was sitting next to Tenten had also been watching Tenten's French fries doing the limbo and he looked up to see something that hopefully was less nauseous. He quickly turned his gaze back to Tenten's food for reasons unknown.

Sakura publicly shook her milk. There was a loud sliding sound as the substance inside hit the carton with a smash. "I'm psychic." Sakura grunted.

"Hn." Sasuke and Neji 'Hn'ed at the same time. Sasuke was sitting next to Sakura and had his eyes closed and his arms crossed. The Uchiha knew better than to buy Cafeteria food.

"I for one prefer my food to be dead when I eat it." Ino huffed with her noise high in the air. To her right Shikamaru was twitching as his sandwich grew 5 legs (yes 5 not 4) and crawled of his tray. To Shikamaru's right was Neji who sat next to Tenten. Tenten was chewing her juice. To the right of Tenten was Choji who was actually eating his food yet his face was blue and he appeared to be having an allergic reaction. Once again no one cared though and just like Kiba he fell out of his chair. Kiba was lying on the floor next to Choji. Then there was Sasuke who seemed to be slightly alarmed that everyone next to him was dropping like flies. Then to Ino's left was Sakura who was still interested in her 'milk'. Ino glared at them. "Is any one listening?" Ino asked annoyed that she wasn't the center of attention. But everyone was too busy paying attention to Tenten's dancing chicken nuggets. Ino growled and turned to her cold lunch.

"Hey Ino, can I have some of your lunch?" The hungry and slightly disturbed Sakura asked.

"No." Ino yelled.

"Please Ino." Sakura begged. "Please I'm hungry and I am so not eating my milk."

"Not my problem." Ino smirked.

"H-hey Tenten is y-your juice f-frozen?" Hinata stammered as she looked at her friend with interest.

"Surprisingly I think its room temperature." Tenten said as she crunched her juice. Neji looked up from her fries alarmed.

"Then why are you chewing it?" Neji asked.

"To be honest I don't know." Tenten said bluntly. Hinata pushed her tray to her side leaving the green burger to fend for itself. Her eyes soon widened as did half the people's who were sitting at the table. "Sakura you are so not opening your 'milk'!"

"Why not. Ino won't give me any of her lunch." Sakura whined. Just then one of Tenten's chicken nuggets darted across the table to Sakura. "Aww it's so cute." She squealed as she petted it earning a rather interesting look from the Uchiha.

"Hey you better get your mother of a chicken butt over here so I can eat you." Tenten growled.

"What did you call me?" Sakura said in a getto stomp tone.

"Not you my damn chicken nugget." Tenten said as see pointed at the perpetuator.

"You can't eat Jimmy he's a living creature." Sakura said as she grabbed 'Jimmy' and shielded him with her hands.

"Oh great Sakura's naming food again." Ino groaned as Shikamaru's eye brow twitched. Then 'Jimmy squealed, fell out of Sakura's hand, hit the table with a thud, and died.

Tenten growled, "great now it's not fresh."

Then Naruto and Lee walked over to the table. (A/N: Oh dear god NO!)

"Hey Hinata are you going to eat that?" Naruto asked as he motioned towards the so-called burger.

Hinata's face turned bright red. "N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n--n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no." Naruto grabbed the burger. "B-b-but I w-wouldn't e-eat it I-if I-" To late Naruto had some how managed to shove the whole burger into his mouth (at once) and was beaming with joy.

"Thank you Hinata-Chan!" He exclaimed clapping her on her back. Hinata fainted and fell out of her chair leaving Naruto to wonder why this had happened.

"HOW IS MY YOUTHFULL BLOSSOM DOING TODAY!" Lee announced as he posed, did his creepy smile with the glint and blinded half the cafeteria. Sakura looked like she was going to scream because Lee was now violating her preferred 534,678.3-foot distance away form her. Sasuke gave Lee what should have been a death glare and Lee should have died but his eyes were superior.

Regaining some composer (but still feeling violated and blind) Sakura handed Lee her milk. "Here you do Lee this is just for you. Now take it a scram."

Tears began to weld up in Lee's eyes. "OH SAKURA, MY YOUTHFULL CHERRY BLOSSOM YOU ARE SO KIND!" With that he scrammed leaving half of the table to laugh their ass's off.

"Oh my god I can't believe you did that Sakura." Tenten said as she stabbed a chicken nugget and it squealed.

"Well I can." Ino smugged. (A/N: It's a me word )

Just then form the other side of the cafeteria there was a giant explosion and half the people fell out of their chair's not moving. "He opened it?.?." Sakura's eye twitched.

"Well no dip-shit Sherlock." Ino spat.

"Wow the cooks here really are trying to kill us." Sakura said as she looked back at her friends no longer finding the other side of the cafeteria interesting. On the other side of the cafeteria paramedics were on the scene.

"Hn." Sasuke thoughtfully 'hn'ed.

"I agree." Neji agreed. Tenten gave him a interested look. "What?"

"You are so weird."

"At least I don't eat cafeteria food." Neji mumbled.

Hey Sasuke-Kun whatcha do'en" Sakura asked.

"Not eating cafeteria food." Sasuke 'hn'ed even though he actually talked.


A/N: Well that's that. I really should have been working on My Sensei's a Pervert but I got wraped up in this instead. Please review and tell me if you want a squall.