Disclaimer- I don't own any Harry Potter characters.
Story by StormDancer
It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
No one ever forgets their first love. No matter how many come after, and how well you love them, that first always will be in your heart. So it is with me, to my eternal sorrow. No matter who is killed, I will cry.
If Harry is killed, my love is gone. He is the one I would gladly spend the rest of my life with, would sacrifice anything for. I went to the Department of Mysteries for him, fought Death Eaters to keep him safe. I am him, for all purposes. Ever since I saw him, when he and Ron got on the Hogwarts Express in their first year, I knew he was to be mine. And in my 5th year, the first time he kissed me, it was truly heaven. With that kiss, my fate was sealed. I would be with him or no one. And I would do anything for him, except one thing. For before he saw me, and I was just a scared child, there was another.
You may say he never loved me, was only using me. But as hard as I try, I cannot fully believe it. If that was true, why would he have taken so long? If that were true, why did he choose me? He saw into me in a way no one did or ever has, not even Harry. I told him things I have never told a living person. I loved him, and that is why I threw him away. He was exerting control over me, but I was also afraid. Afraid of my feelings, afraid of what I might do to let him live and hold me. Tom Riddle shaped me into who I am. He gave me confidence to stand up for what I want. He honed my will into an unbreakable bond which no one will ever use again. He also made me special; saw me as me, not just a Weasley. I loved him, and love him still. And he loved me! Yes, dammit, he did. I know it with a feeling to deep to speak of. He may have started out to use me, but there are some things I have never told anyone about the diary. And that is that he began to tell me of himself. Of the lonely boy he was, left in an orphanage. I know more of his history than anyone, probably even Dumbledore. Why do I keep quiet? Because I will not betray him. He may be evil, but he was not always. Once he was a child as terrified as I was, and he helped me not turn into him. And I know he did that on purpose.
I remember the last thing he said to me.
"Sleep, Ginny, and when it is time to wake I will wake you with a kiss."
His last words, in a way. For that night Harry destroyed the last remnants of Tom, and gave Voldemort full power. I heard those two talking. Tom said he never loved me, but I could see in his eyes that he was lying. Tom could not mask his emotions as Voldemort can. I think he truly would have done all he could to revive me. Perhaps Harry's death would have given him the energy to let us both live, I will never know. For Tom is dead. I have forgiven Harry for murdering him long ago. He did what was necessary, to let him and, he thought, me live. And so I forgive my love, for I cannot hold a grudge from him.
And yet, I am put in a bind of the evilest sort. For whoever wins, I lose. If Harry is killed, I have lost my great love and future. My life would be over, and I would sob. Yet, if Harry kills Voldemort, I still will cry. For in Voldemort is the last remnants of my first love, a man who knew me as no other has or ever will. And this I swear, upon my love for him and his for me, if he is killed, I will weep. I will weep and forgive him for whom he was, and cry out to the cruel fates for dooming him to be as he was. It is my duty, for that is who I am, what the fates have made me. The weeper.