Author's Note: The first fic I've written in a while, and it seems that I'm still stuck on that same old pairing...Well, here's hoping that someone else likes it too.
The Rub: Basically a series of interactions between Seto and Joey at and following a health fair.
Rating: PG-13...maybe I should give it R just to be safe...some inuendo and language.
Chapter One: Feel My Balls?
Joseph James Wheeler looked down at the fake testicles that the students were supposed to be finding cancer in.
How long did it take a girl to go to the bathroom? She had better get back before-
Too late. Not wearing his trench coat and looking unbelievably skinny in all black, a certain CEO of a certain major corporation was walking in his direction. Joey looked down at his shirt. Grreeeeaaaat. It read, "I dig scrawny pale guys"
He sighed in relief, for a moment the other boy had stopped at another table, signing a petition of some sort. Bent over….with his ass thrust out.
Oh dear. Joey couldn't decide, these things either happened far too often or not nearly enough. The brunette righted himself. No, don't stand up, stay there, really, it's fine…
He was walking towards Joey's table again.
That smirk. That saunter, it all just pissed him off so much (not to mention the sexy swivel it added to the CEO's hips.
The smirk widened exponentially as Kaiba examined the table.
"You're running a testicular cancer awareness booth? Is that why you don't have any balls"
"Actually I'm manning this for my friend Tahnya until she gets back. You're welcome to wait for her. She should only be a minute"
Kaiba's eyes widened. Tahnya? What guy would subject himself to this for only a friend?
Hn. Not that I care. The brunette bent over and plucked a small brown blob off the table. He rolled in around his palm. "What's this, mutt"
"Why, look familiar?" Seto raised an eyebrow in annoyance. "It's a cancerous testicle"
Kaiba dropped it, and it seemed at even gravity was under his control, the thing fell so swiftly.
"Oh come on Kaiba! It's just a model, and besides, find the cancer, win a prize"
"What's the prize"
"A greater understanding of your body." Joey grinned.
"And since that doesn't motivate teenagers, you get this!" He held up a giant bag of candy. "I'll even let you chose what kind, and if you lay off the dog comments, I'll give you two pieces"
"Again, I'll pass"
"You're afraid to touch balls? No wonder you're so pissy"
The CEO, who had been leaving, turned back to the blonde, only to find one of the testicles flying at him. He caught it and stomped back, but stopped at the softer look on Joey's face.
"Seriously Kaiba, this isn't something to mess around with. It's good to know how to do"
"It's not going to happen to me"
"Because you're rich? Because you're famous? Because you're young? Because you're the invincible Seto Kaiba? I don't think you're above disease. Think about Lance Armstrong. Just try it, ok? You get candeh!" He held up the bag again, grinning.
The CEO growled, then sighed, giving in. He swiftly rolled the ball around in his palm for a few moments, before jabbing it roughly with his thumb. The abusive treatment of the testicle continued as he searched out the cancer, and it made Joey cringe inwardly. "Dude, do you have balls of steel or something? You're killing it"
The CEO ignored him. Finally his eyes widened slightly and he held it out to Joey, indicating with his thumb. "There"
The blonde reached out and felt for a few seconds, then retracted his hand. "Congratulations Seto Kaiba, you have just found your vas deferens." He was now laughing hysterically, nearly doubled over. "Fine, you do it then." He whipped the ball at Joey, then crossed his arms in a huff. It hit Joey in the chest, making a small dull thud upon hitting muscle. He picked it up from where it landed on the table. He gently rolled it into his hand, holding it, not at a height, but at an angle and position as though it were attached to a body. He grazed his thumb over it, slowly, smoothly, deliberately. Seto had to swallow hard to rid himself of the lump in his throat. Finally, the brown eyes focused again (he found it easier to concentrate on touch when he wasn't looking at anything). He tapped the spot lightly. "Here. Feel"
The CEO only felt it because of how dazed he was, still stuck on the sweet way that Joey bit his lip when concentrating. He nodded, indicating that he did indeed feel the small protrusion that wasn't meant to be there. Joey finally set the ball down and held out the bag of candy.
"You were a good sport. Consolation prize"
"Pity prize. No thanks"
"Ugh." Joey reached into the bag, chose three pieces and shoved them into the plastic health fair bag the CEO held. "Take it. And check out my table later. It's on the other side of the room"
"Why wo-" He was then cut off at a voluptuous, full breasted woman with curly black hair came running up to Joey. She kissed him on the cheek."Joseph. Thank you so much for manning my table. You have no idea how many people try to steal the balls"
He ignored her comments. "Geeze woman, how long does it take you to take a piss? You were gone forever"
Seto's eyes widened. He had never heard the blonde talk this way to anyone, let alone a girl. "I'm sorry! They gave me a hassle about using the men's room! I had to find the unisex one in the nurses office and someone was in there throwing up"
"Fine, congratulations though"
Her voice went high pitched and he arms moved close to her chest, her hands grasping each other tightly as she jumped up and down. "I know! I pass! EEEeeeeeeeEEEE!" Oh. It was a man then. A she-man. Oh. Seto was very confused. Ok…I'll be going then. "Ok Tahnya sweetie, I've got to get back to my table, keep basking in your womanliness"
"See you Jo-Jo"
The blonde rolled his eyes and began walking around the outside of the room, over and around backpacks and people, in the path made behind all of the tables.
Tahnya looked up at the confused Seto. She grinned evilly. "Would you like to feel my balls?"