Title: 20 Truths of Red and Blue Eyes
Author: wingsover
Character/Pairing/Group: Uzumaki Naruto/Yuuhi Kurenai. Yay for crack!
Rating: High T, for innuendo
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. WHY NOT!
Notes: I don't really ship NaruKurenai, but antiassasinguy requested it, and to actually have things requested of me is such a novelty that I tried my hand at it.Besides, I'm not really stretching when writing Naruto/any girl(s) because deep inside I know the boy's a playa.

1)Naruto's always been fascinated with red eyes – not the red of sleeplessness or drink, but the bright color of irises shining like fire and blood constrained into perfect circles.

2) Sasuke and Kakashi, two of the strongest shinobi he knows, reinforce his admiration of the color; Itachi reinforces his fear. But it all begins with baby-dreams of huge slit-pupil eyes peering at him from behind a cage of rusted steel.

3) It's only in the Chuunin exams, when he brushes past a young jounin-sensei standing with her team, that he learns that red eyes can be not only deadly awesome, but actually beautiful as well.

4) Naruto is not really as dense as everyone thinks he is; he knows that Hyuuga Hinata has a crush on him that dwarfs the one that Sakura and Ino have on Sasuke - after all, even they don't faint if the bastard so much as breathes in their direction. He just pretends he doesn't so he doesn't have to deal with the uncomfortable problem of adoration that simply isn't reciprocated. He tries not to encourage her.

5) Then Kurenai urges him to take the silently-offered ointment, and he finds he can't refuse.

6) He's disappointed that the two jounin-sensei he wants most to watch his match with Neji aren't there – Kakashi and Kurenai. He forgives Kurenai, but never quite manages for Kakashi.

7) One night after the failed mission to keep Sasuke from Orochimaru, Kurenai finds Naruto curled up on a rooftop, silent but awake, and tearless. She sits behind him silently, not touching, not speaking, and not making eye-contact with eyes that look too much like the Sharingan. When the sun rises, she leaves; and Naruto finally begins speaking normally again.

8) When he leaves with Jiraiya, he leaves behind notes for all the other genin. In each he instructs them to say goodbye to their senseis on his behalf. He took particular care with the penmanship on his notes to Kiba, Hinata and Shino.

9) He is fifteen, a few months before they have to return to Konoha, when his puberty kicks in with a vengeance. He grows a foot in height, his voice cracks mercilessly, and he has his first dreams about Kurenai.

10)Somehow, Jiraiya's next novel features a female lead with long curly black hair, deep eyes and the name Kara. Naruto stops nagging his sensei about his series after that.

11)A year into his return to Konoha, Naruto is getting training from all four of the top jounin-sensei, his idea and one enthusiastically approved by Tsunade. Kakashi, no longer distracted by another Sharingan-wielder, focuses on ninjutsu; Gai teaches him taijutsu, of course; Asuma gives him a wide mix of training, ranging from tactics-and-strategy classes to knife-fighting lessons to teaching him how to smoke. Kurenai teaches him genjutsu, which is his worst subject and thus necessitates extra time.

12)After a Double S-Class mission involving all the top jounin and chuunin of Konoha, as well as one very notable genin (whose rumored participation in the next chuunin exams is causing major concern in all other chuunin candidates, as well as in bookies) Orochimaru is defeated. Naruto dealt the killing blow – a simple decapitating strike. The genjutsu he wove to get close enough for it is anything but.

13)Anko and Kurenai insist on a party to celebrate when they get back; Anko for the fact that her tormentor is finally dead, Kurenai to distract certain genin from the fact that Uchiha Sasuke escaped.

14)To further distract Naruto, Kurenai proposes a drinking game. Naruto accepts so eagerly that she should have noticed something, but she'd already had a few bottles by this point.

15)Twelve shots of some glowing blue liquid later, Kurenai can't remember where she is, what day it is, and where her clothes have got to. She does manage to cry out the correct name – several times during the night.

16)When Kurenai wakes up, all tangled up in a blond shinobi, her first reaction is to feel extremely flustered – and a little guilty.

17)Naruto, blue eyes hazy, then wakes up and manages to convince her that this is a good thing.

18)Kurenai is so relieved when Hinata and Kiba tell her they're dating that she erupts into whoops of joy. They think it's very sweet of their sensei to be so supportive of their relationship.

19)Only Tsunade and Kakashi know about their relationship; Tsunade because Naruto tells her everything – and she has a serious, mildly threatening "Naruto is like a younger brother to me" talk with Kurenai – and Kakashi because he, as usual, turned up unexpectedly at Naruto's apartment to deliver vegetables and mysterious one-liners.

20)He still won't look either of them in the eye.