Author's Note: This just kinda popped into my head. What can I say I have fun torturing the HP characters. Please review.
Disclaimer: I own it. (A lie.) I'm JK. (I'm now guilty of identity theft.) You love me anyway. (The truth.)
Summary: What happens when Dumbledore decides that everyone misunderstands their neighbors. Why he gives them the chance of the lifetime. They spend a month in each other's bodies and learn that other people's lives aren't as easy as they seem. Not HBP compliant.
Of all the things Dumbledore had pulled over the years his new idea had to be the most ludicrous. I mean if it was anyone else the teachers might consider checking them into the mental ward. But no, by now they were used to Albus' harebrained schemes.
But why now? Why did he want everyone to experience other people's lives? Letters had just been sent to the students explaining that for the last two weeks of summer and the first two weeks of the school year, every student and teacher, excluding the first years would be switching bodies with someone else.
The people involved would have all the other person's memories, their voice, appearance, etc. But they would still retain their own mind. They could look and see what the body's owner would do, but in the long run it was their choice.
Several students and staff were rather disgruntled by the news. The Slytherin's were horrified by the thoughts that a mudblood or heaven forbid a Gryffindor might actually be able to influence their lives. The other houses were worried that the Slytherin's would ruin their reputations.
The teachers were afraid that some irresponsible student might let them goof off during class. Heaven forbid that happen. Harry Potter pitied whoever would have to deal with his relatives, Dumbledore being overbearing, the fact that he was being tailed, not to mention his cousin, his nightmares, and his state of semi-depression. And Severus Snape was just pissed that Dumbledore was even thinking about letting a student go gallivanting around in his body and teaching his class. Not to mention the Order meetings and Voldemort's summons.
Severus Snape was rushing around trying to set his affairs in Order. He was re-warding his rooms. No one would discover anything he didn't want them to. He only had the rest of the evening to make sure everything was set. His liquor cabinet was locked and heavily guarded. Not to mention being hidden by several convenient spells.
Severus locked his lab, redid the wards and added some new ones. All of the cauldrons were cleaned and neatly stacked against the wall. His private stores had the most protection. His books were all filed on his book shelves in alphabetical order. Usually they were laid haphazardly around the room.
In his office his desk was cleared of parchments. In fact it was bare. He replaced the candle stubs with new candles. He'd made sure that the house elves had changed his sheets and made his bed. His study was locked. Now all he had to do was make sure his home would not be disturbed.
Severus was in a rather large hurry. He'd done just about everything he needed to be ready for the coming school year. His books were thrown onto the bookshelves in no particular order. Severus was amazed at how many books he tripped over. Damn his system of organization. He changed and made his bed. And Severus replaced all the candles. He cleaned the dishes in the sink. All the silverware was put in its proper place.
The bathroom had been cleaned. Now all Severus had to do was neaten up his study. Easier said than done.
Severus tried in vain for about five minutes. Then he gave up and decided to just lock the door. Severus didn't really want to go to sleep. I mean who honestly looks forward to waking up in someone else's body. Finally after double and triple checks and relocking his lab seven times, Severus finally conceded to the fact that his fate was inevitable. He retired to bed dreading tomorrow.
Harry woke up groggy, well aware that he was no longer in his body. 'Stupid Dumbledore.' Harry dragged himself out of bed. He had to pee, but in bathrooms there are mirrors. And, well Harry wasn't to sure he wanted to know who he was. After arguing with himself for five more minutes his bladder finally won out.
He closed his eyes and opened the bathroom door. He walked around blindly. Finally he found the toilet and did his business. He went to wash his hands. He had no intention of opening his eyes but when he turned the sink on, ice cold water came out. His eyes sprang open. He screamed. He was….
Ron woke up on a bed that felt like heaven. 'This is nice. I think I can get used to this person's life. Wait who am I?' Ron opened his eyes. Wow. This couldn't be his room. Well, it was for the next two weeks. The room was as large as the entire first floor of his house.
'I wonder which rich pureblood's house this is.' Ron looked around when realization dawned on him. This had to be a Slytherin's house. He jumped out of bed like he had been scalded. He had to wash off the Death Eater scum. He ran for the bathroom and started running a bath.
A house elf popped in. Ron jumped a foot in the air. He stared at it like it was mental and it stared back with the same incredulous expression. "Tibby wonders what master is doing. Master has Tibby to run baths for him. Why did Master not summon Tibby." Ron looked at the house elf for a second before a huge grin flitted across his face. 'I have a house elf. Wicked.'
"I'm sorry Tibby. Would you like to run me a bath?" The house elf stared at him like he was mad. "Is Young Master feeling alright. Master is lacking his usual…edge." Realization dawned. He was being too nice. "Run me a bath Tibby. After that I want breakfast."
"Yes Master. Is there anything else Tibby can get Young Master?"
Ron thought for a moment. His mother would kill him if she knew what he was thinking. He grinned evilly in his mind. "Yes Tibby. Bring me a copy of Play Wizard."
"Tibby will fetch Master's copy." She disappeared with a pop. 'Fetch? What incredible hormonal teenager am I inhabiting the body of?'
Ron needed some soap and Tibby wasn't back yet. Ron stood up and reached over to grab the soap from the sink. He caught his reflection in the mirror and promptly dropped the soap. His eyes widened and he shivered completely oblivious to his naked state. Oh my god he was…
Hermione woke up very annoyed. Sunlight was streaming in through her windows and blinding her. Wait not her windows. They were always covered by blinds. Then she remembered the potion. The room was lilac. And there was way too much of it. She looked at the walls. They were papered with moving posters of hot male celebrities. 'Moving?' If Hermione was honest she would have to say that some of them were really good looking.
On the floor next to her bed were dozens of piles of magazines. All of them were balanced precariously. Hermione was worried that she was going to kill herself trying to cross the room. This'd be fun trying to maneuver in the dark.
Hermione spied a vanity across the room. It was covered in makeup. I mean every square inch had makeup on it. Hermione wasn't sure that she could even identify all of it. Well it'd be a learning opportunity wouldn't?
Next Hermione noticed the closet. It was a huge walk-in. She got out of bed and opened it. It was crammed with clothes. Tons of old magazines were thrown into any available space. And shoes, lots and lots of shoes littered the floor.
Finally Hermione's curiosity got the better of her. She walked over to the vanity. There were several pictures framing the mirror. Eventually Hermione looked at her reflection. The face staring back at her was…
"Darling you must wake up." Ginny groaned. 'Dang, Dumbledore's stupid ideas. I don't even get one day's break from annoying, pestering people.' She rolled out of bed and landed unceremoniously on the floor. "Mistress must get up. Mistress has a busy planned."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, Young Mistress. Mistress ordered Bitty to make sure you were looking your best."
"Fine, do your worst."
"Ha, ha. Young Mistress always loved her jokes. Bitty will have you looking Bu-ti-ful in no time."
Ginny grumbled through getting shoved into a very pretty, if not highly unpractical dress. She was thoroughly disgruntled when she was forced to have her hair done. And even less cooperative when it came to makeup. Her nails were painted. Well her nails which looked perfect were repainted. 'Honestly who honestly redoes their nails everyday? From what I've seen of this house, it must belong to a wealthy pureblood. And a Slytherin no doubt. I wonder what horrors the day will bring.'
"Young Mistress is done. Bitty made you Bu-ti-ful."
Ginny's chair was turned around. She looked in the mirror. She looked good. Well it wasn't exactly her. But she couldn't believe how good her host's body could look. 'Wow, maybe I was wrong about...'
"Get up. Get up I said." The loud knocking persisted until Snape growled, "I'll be up in a minute."
"No, you'll get up now and be downstairs making breakfast in five."
"That's impossible. How am I supposed to be downstairs in five minutes?"
"Figure it out. You manage very other day of the summer."
Severus got out of bed. He rushed to the bathroom only taking time to relieve himself and brush his teeth hastily. He didn't bother glancing at his hair. He smoothed it down and quickly put on the nearest clothes.
He was downstairs and in the kitchen in five minutes flat. Of course he felt extremely groggy and his heart was racing. "Get a move on boy. I want breakfast."
"And just who do you think you are?"
"You know very well who I am. Now do not question my authority. Get to work."
Severus set to making breakfast. He was muttering under his breath until he got walloped in the head. That shut him up quickly. 'This is ridiculous. I am not some house elf. How dare that man order me around. I wish I knew who I was. I didn't even have time to find out. Stupid muggles. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I had to cook by hand. And it's been ages since I've even seen a microwave."
"Are you done yet boy?" said the obnoxious voice that had woken him up. He spun around. "First off my name is not boy and secondly I am not your slave so do not treat me as such."
"You're just as ungrateful as your stupid freak mother." Suddenly Severus recognized the voice. It was a voice he hadn't heard in a very long time.
"Holy shit I'm…"
"Watch your language." Severus shot her the nasty glare. How dare the wicked wench. Oh he would get his revenge, on her and everyone else in the household. Including his current host's body's life. Oh victory was sweet, but revenge was all the sweeter.'
Author's Note: Alright these aren't all the characters in this story. This just popped into my head so well bear with me. I'm going on a school trip to Quebec so I won't be able to update any sooner than Sunday at the earliest. Please review and tell me what you think. I've never really done cliffies so tell me how I did. I kind of left you clues for who's in whose body. If you review with your predictions then I promise to tell you if you are right. I'm sorry if anyone seems slightly ooc.