By: Hitokiri Musei


Summary: Sano thinks back as he watches Kenshin sleep. KenSano, SanoKen, yaoi.


Sadly, I've already had a few people review me to tell me that this is 'gross.' Yes, I know it's gross, but I don't care. I like it, and you don't have to. I am fully aware that Sano and Kenshin are just friends, but this is FANFICTION! It doesn't have to follow the story, it's written by FANS! We can do as we wish! So don't come crying to me, after you've read the story through, that it is gross. If you don't like it, please don't read it! By the way, those of you that did review, I can remove reviews that aren't signed, and I have done so. Just for those of you that can't seem to figure that out...

Don't own Rurouni Kenshin, sadly. Enjoy, and please review! If you are an enjoyer of KenSano fics, please check out my C2, Chocolate and Amethyst!

Late into the night, I couldn't sleep. My body was tired, and yet my mind was not. It didn't make much sense to me, but I wasn't complaining. It gave me a chance to do my favorite thing: watch Kenshin sleep.

He was soundly asleep, breathing soft and even in rest. His face was highlighted in a single strip of moonlight, which outlined his sharp features. I reached out, running my finger along the slope of his nose, and then down along his cheekbone. He sighed, leaning into my touch, a small smile curving his full pink lips.

I smiled. Although Kenshin had the instincts of a hitokiri he slept deeply when I was there. I pulled the blanket away from his thin form slightly, and as the cool air hit his form he shivered, curling closer to my body. I wrapped my arms around his small shoulders, tucking my face in the tiny curve of his neck.

To most people, Kenshin was small, but only because he was short and rather young-looking. The fact that he was skinny accented his size even more. Because of his height and rather feminine looks, people tended to think Kenshin was simpler then he really was. That was what it was; people summed him up in one statement: A short boy with a sword that he probably can't use. Because of that simplicity, it made people forget to look past his features, forget to look into the man within that small body.

Even though Kenshin's looks were the main reasons people saw Kenshin as very small, they weren't the only ones. When you got close, you could really see him, truly see him.

Kenshin was…delicate. There was no other word for it. He was short, true, but he was extremely fine-boned and slender as well. It was, as his features seemed, almost feminine.

Thinking of this, I absently picked up his hands, easily dwarfing them within my own. They, like the rest of him, were delicate and slender. I could probably break his entire hand just by closing my own. Even though they were small, I could feel the powerful calluses that covered the pads of his fingers and his palms. But the tops of his hands were smooth, although a few scars covered the surface.

His arms didn't display the strength hidden within; they were too lean and sinewy for people to think that. Although he was muscular, it was not even close to me. Compared to myself, Kenshin was positively tiny. His bones were easily visible in his thin arms, barely hidden beneath muscle, sinew, and satiny smooth pale skin.

I moved upward, and the slender column of his throat presented a warm enticing challenge to me. I loved to run my lips, tongue, and teeth over his neck, feeling his pulse beneath his thin skin. I could also feel the vibrations of his moans and purrs of pleasure through his throat.

His face was smooth and young, no wrinkles present. In sleep his face was free of the stress and worry it usually wore, making him look even more like a young teenager. His cheeks were smooth save for his scar; he had never been able to grow any kind of facial hair. The scar, which some people may find ugly, made him more beautiful in my eyes. The crossing lines served only to give him an ethereal sort of beauty, and I planted a kiss in the center, at their crossing point.

I ran my fingers down his throat, past his protruding collarbones and to his chest. He was leanly muscled, and I could easily feel his ribs beneath his skin. His heart beat steadily beneath my hand as I pressed it to his chest. As I trailed the tips of my fingers across his tiny little tummy he smiled in his sleep, trying to wiggle away from me. Yes, Kenshin, the almighty Battousai, was ticklish. Not wanting to wake him, I moved away from his stomach.

His legs, now they were things of beauty. They were thin and yet strong, a lot like his arms, but with more muscle. Even though they looked like the long slender legs that someone would expect to find on a woman, I had seen those legs carry Kenshin in leaps and bounds that amazed me even to this day. I had watched him in battle, and also in practice.

I was one of the few that had seen Kenshin practice. I had only done so twice, the first by accident and the second because I had asked and he had relented to my wishes. The first time was one I would never forget, and not only because I got to see him practice, but because it was when we had our first kiss, and confessed our love to each other…

I hadn't meant to find him there, I really hadn't. I had just…ended up there. I had been walking along, when I had suddenly felt something that had attracted my attention. Now, as a street fighter and not a swordsman, I didn't have much of a sense for ki or things like that, but this was something that even I couldn't ignore.

I followed that sense, going towards an old bamboo grove that I had never even stopped to consider. I walked through the tall stalks around me, pushing them to the side as I moved through to where the strong energy was centered. What I saw would never leave me.

Kenshin was in a clearing in the grove, practicing Hiten Mitsurugi. It was like a dance, the way each move flowed into another one, the way his body moved throughout those moves. I found myself entranced by his lean body, watching in shock and a sort of awe as he continued to go through his kata.

He wore only his hakama, and I spotted his gi folded neatly and resting on a rock nearby. He still carried the sakabatou's sheath with him, which was currently tucked in his obi, and the sakabatou was a singing, humming, and flashing thing in his hands. I ran my eyes over the planes of his chest and stomach, swallowing heavily as he performed a Ryu Tsui Sen, sweat flying off of his body as he shot through the air like a bullet.

I was able to recognize as the exercises slacked off and he went into the cool down stage of kata, the movements growing more flowing and easy, gradually bringing him to a halt.

I could resist no longer.

I stepped from the bush, and Kenshin instantly whirled towards me, his eyes narrowing and his focus coming right to me. As he realized who it was he gasped softly, his eyes going from narrow to wide.

The next thing I knew I was next to him. Now, at a later time I would look back and realize how stupid it was to approach an armed swordsman, especially an ex-hitokiri. If Kenshin had not been paying attention to whom I was, he could have hurt me badly. The fact that he had just been practicing didn't help; he was charged and ready to fight at that instant.

I reached out without thought, grabbing him and pulling his glistening, sweat-soaked, slender body against me, pressing him into the evidence of my desire. The sound of the sakabatou clattering to the ground was blocked out as I buried my fingers in his perspiration damp crimson mane, and then leaned down, locking my lips over his. I could hear his muffled shriek of surprise, but I ignored it.

His hands had landed against my chest beneath my jacket, and as my tongue slipped into his mouth they jerked on my skin, his fingers clenching. I kissed him thoroughly, and it was one thing that jerked me from what I was doing, one thing that surprised me back to my senses.

Kenshin was kissing back.

With a sound of shock I stepped away from him, releasing him as though he burned my skin. Without me there to support him by my arms around his tiny waist, he promptly fell to the ground with a solid 'thump,' crumpling to his knees and then down to the ground.

We were both panting, and I watched as he raised a hand to his lips. "W-wow…" he murmured, raising violet eyes to stare at me in wonder.

I swallowed heavily, taking another step back. "I-I'm sorry Kenshin, I… I don't know w-what came over me…"

He smiled gently, pushing himself to his feet and moving closer to me, reaching up to touch my face. I blinked, and then his hand closed on my jaw and pulled me down to meet his soft lips once again.

As I wrapped my arms around his waist again I started to really focus on the feelings that were pouring through me. Kenshin's lips were soft and warm against mine, and the feel of his tiny body tucked into the curves of my own, dampening my clothes with sweat and causing them to stick to both him and me was arousing. I had never been more in love with the petite red-haired rurouni then I had been right then.

As he pulled away from me I settled myself with trailing kisses along his jawbone and throat. He whimpered slightly. "God I love you Sano…"

"I love you so much Kenshin-saiai…You are my life, you are the very air that I breathe…" I breathed against his damp skin.

He blinked slightly, looking down at me. "R-Really?"

I smiled at him reassuringly. "I could never imagine life without you now Kenshin, you are the only one with the power to make me feel this way." I pushed the evidence of how he affected me against his hip, and a delicate blush covered his cheekbones. I continued onward. "You are the only one with the ability to make me feel weak inside, yet feel on the outside that I can move mountains."

I held him closer as he smiled slightly. "I love you Sano…"

I smiled, burying my nose in his vermillion hair. "I love you too Kenshin."

I smiled as I remembered this, leaning down to put my nose in Kenshin's hair. He sighed in his sleep, and I wrapped my arms tighter around him.

Things had only gotten better from there, Kenshin had started to warm up to me even more. Thankfully, Jou-chan didn't find out, and Kenshin and I were able to enjoy each other's company without her interfering most of the time. There was one time when she nearly caught us, and it had certainly been a close one. I smiled, playing with Kenshin's titan hair as I thought back…


I ignored these words that Kenshin uttered, traveling down his chest and fastening my lips around one pale pink nipple. His last call of my name ended in a moan that sent shivers down my spine, and I longed to take him right then and there. You see, Kenshin was very stubborn, and had not yet let me make love to him. I wasn't sure why, but he just kept telling me that he wasn't ready. I would respect his wishes, whether I liked them or not.

His hands were tight on my shoulders as he used me to support himself where I had driven him up the side of the dojo, his fingers clenching in my jacket as I ravished him thoroughly.

He suddenly stiffened against me. "Ack! Sano!"

I looked up innocently. "Yes?"

He pushed at my shoulders. "Get off! Get off, Kaoru-dono is coming!"

With a swear I backed off from him, letting him drop to the ground with a gentle 'thump,' where he straightened his gi and took deep breaths to calm his desire. I did the same, willing my body to forget that I had ever had him that close.

"Kenshin? Sano?"

I looked to see Jou-chan standing there, looking a little confused. I grinned. "Hey Jou-chan, what's going on?"

She looked us both up and down. "Well I was just getting back from the market, what in Kami-sama's name were you two doing that you're all sweaty like that?"

I could tell that Kenshin would be able to come up with a smooth lie.

"Well, we were just practicing a bit. Sparring. Sano wanted to practice, so I sparred with him."

I snorted inwardly. 'Yea, sparring tongues…'

Kaoru blinked. "Sparring? Kenshin, that's new for you. You never spar with anyone."

He grinned sheepishly, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his head. "I finished my chores, and I was getting a little bored. Sano offered something to do, so I took it."

She seemed to buy that, and nodded, walking into the dojo. Kenshin let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders slumping. "That was close…"

I laughed. "You have not finished all your chores, you liar!"

He grinned. "Now I'll have to do double tomorrow, because I didn't finish the laundry. It's your fault; you're the one that dragged me away from it!"

I shrugged. "Sorry, I couldn't help it!"

He gave me a push. "Stop it then. I need to finish my chores everyday, and then you can have fun."

I grinned slyly. "Are you giving me permission?"

He blinked, and then glared at me. "No!"

I tightened my hold on him once more, and he snuggled closer to me, his scarred cheek warm against my chest. Kenshin had been stubborn, but I would wear him down slowly, but surely.

I breathed deep the ginger and cinnamon scent of his hair, smiling again.

If anything, Kenshin's hair had to be one of the reasons that I loved him so much. That crimson silk flowing through my fingers, moving through my hands like water. The color was positively hypnotizing, and I just loved to watch him walk. Yes, walk. When Kenshin walked his hair swayed back and forth, the waves of titan flowing enticingly down his back.

I loved to touch Kenshin's hair, to feel it in my hands. He had let me wash it one time, and I would never forget it, and for more reasons than the fact that he let me wash his hair.

Jou-chan? In bed.

Yahiko? Akabeko, helping out Tae.

I rubbed my hands together almost evilly. Perfect…

I walked towards the bathhouse, looking at the faint light shining from the window. Kenshin usually bathed late at night, he said that he liked the privacy and it was nicer in the dark. He had always been a bit more of a night-owl, probably from his years as a hitokiri, and he had presented me with a perfect opportunity.

I slid open the outer door, going into the room where there were a few things stored that Jou-chan had no other place for. I could hear the sounds of water splashing within, and Kenshin's voice humming faintly.

I slid open the other door with no warning, and Kenshin let out a little shriek, jumping and looking towards me with wide violet eyes. I laughed as he hid himself, blushing mightily. "What happened to the instincts of a swordsman Kenshin?"

He glared at me, the blush still on his cheek as he held a washcloth in front of his hips. "I was thinking, so I wasn't paying as much attention! Don't DO that!" He glared harder. "And get out, I'm not clothed!"

I smiled slightly, moving closer to him. As I came close he blushed harder and took a step back. I wrapped my arms around him, blocking off his escape. I could feel his hands trapped against me, trembling faintly. He was facing me, but his eyes were squeezed shut in embarrassment.

I leaned down to put my lips against his ear. "Don't be afraid…"

His eyes flew open and he stared at me. "S-Sano?"

I kissed the tip of his nose. "Don't hide yourself from me. I love you Kenshin, why would you feel the need to do so?"

His mouth opened, but no sound escaped. He tried again. "I…"

I took his lips with my own, cutting off any response he may have formed. He sank against me, relaxing fully. I didn't move away from him, respecting the fact that he was still a little cautious about our relationship and where we stood.

I guided him back to the stool sitting in the middle of the room, where he had been sitting and scrubbing himself. I sat him down, and he sat with the washcloth held in trembling hands, still protecting his hips.

I poured water over his hair, and he tilted his head back, closing his eyes in pleasure as I rubbed soap into the fine crimson strands. The feel of his hair in my hands, the silken fibers flowing between my fingers, it was arousing in itself. I rinsed his hair, and then guided him towards the furo with a hand. He was still hesitant, his steps slow. "Sano…"

I removed my jacket, and then my pants, and when I looked back at Kenshin he was looking away, a blush again on his cheeks. I smiled. 'Such innocence…'

I climbed into the furo and settled against the side, letting him stand beside it. He stood there for a moment, and then slowly released the washcloth, sliding into the water beside me. I didn't linger long looking at his body, but I was able to appreciate him.

He sat still beside me, and then I reached over and pulled him into my lap, forcing him to straddle my hips. He gasped, back arching slightly at the feel. I covered his lips with my own, slipping my tongue into his mouth. He moaned into my mouth, his arms draping around my neck. As we kissed it was as though the water was burning around us, and as Kenshin dropped his head back I trailed kisses along his skin.

As I slid my hand lower on his back he whimpered slightly. I frowned, looking up at him, where his lips were pressed into a thin line, and his face was white with fear. "Kenshin?" I murmured. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

He hesitated, and then sighed. "I…I'm scared Sano…"

I shifted, letting him rest against my chest. "That's not all there is to it, is there?"

He shook his head. "No. It's not. I'm afraid that it will hurt, because this isn't my first time…"

I blinked. "Not your first time? You're not a virgin?"

He shook his head again. "Not anymore. But I didn't lose it by my own consent."

I growled lowly. "No…"

He sighed against my chest. "Yes Sano. I was raped." He shivered against me. "I was only 15. I had just barely been made the Hitokiri Battousai, and one of the men caught me while I was out alone. I didn't quite have the strength and confidence then that I did later, and they managed to corner me. All I remember is pain, blinding pain. I thought that I was going to die right then and there, it was like I was being split apart from the inside." He shivered harder. "I crawled back to the inn about 6 hours later, bleeding, bruised, and sobbing like a child."

"Oh Kenshin…" I murmured, rubbing soothing circles on his shoulder. "I never knew…"

"The only ones who knew were Katsura-san and Okami-dono. They took care of me, helped me to regain my confidence. For many days after that I couldn't face anyone, I was too afraid and shy. It was that occurrence that made me want to become the boy that I did; a cold emotionless assassin. I didn't like killing, so what I did was imagine that the person I was murdering was one of the men who had violated me." Kenshin finished, closing his eyes and just laying against my chest.

I pressed my cheek against his hair, tears filling my eyes. "Kenshin, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that's what was holding you back… I'm so sorry, I'll stop, I promise."

He shook his head. "No, Sano. I need to get over my fear eventually. I want to love you, I really do, but my fear is holding me back…Just…promise me… Promise me that you won't hurt me."

I nodded. "If it starts to hurt, just tell me and I will stop, I promise on my love for you."

He smiled. "Thank you Sano."

I had kept my promise; I had made it as sweet and gentle as I could. I had taken him on a ride of pleasure, and afterwards he had cried, out of relief and happiness. I loved Kenshin, and I would never treat him harshly.

I played with his hair, stroking one hand along his hip. He breathed in, stirring slightly. I stilled my movements, not wanting to wake him, but he did so anyway. He stirred again, and then I felt his eyelashes flutter against my chest. "Sano?" He yawned.

I sighed. "I'm sorry saiai; I didn't mean to wake you…"

He shook his head. "It's okay. I don't mind."

I stared into his deep violet eyes, smiling. His eyes were another thing that made me love him so much. Usually Kenshin could hide the whole world within his eyes, they were so expressive, and yet able to hide things so well. He was good at it, but when he was around me he let that veil of falseness fall. His eyes held everything he felt, sadness, fear, happiness, hope, caring, concern. It was like reading a book, looking into Kenshin's eyes, and I loved to do so.

He tilted his head. "What were you doing?"

I smiled. "Thinking about us."

He blinked. "What about us?"

I chuckled gently. "Just about our first kiss, that time Jou-chan almost caught us, our first time together…"

He smiled slightly. "You do that often you know. Sometimes I wonder why you can think of the same things over and over again. I think of something different every time I look at you."

I nuzzled his cheek, and he returned the gesture, purring slightly in his throat. "I think the same thing every time." As he blinked at me I smiled. "I think how lucky I am to have you, how beautiful you are. I think about how you are my everything, how you are the very breath in my lungs. You are the blood in my veins; you make my heart beat every time that I look at you."

A delicate blush covered his cheekbones, and he blinked wide eyes at me. "S-Sano…"

I raised a brow. "What?"

He looked down slightly. "Well, you… you've never spoken to me like that before… It's a little… different."

I tilted my head. "What? Are you telling me that you don't like it?"

He shook his head quickly. "I, I didn't say that!"

I laughed, squeezing him tightly and rubbing my nose against his. "I love you, you know that right?"

He nodded. "Of course I do Sano. You tell me all the time."

I nodded firmly. "I want you to know that. You are always the kind of person that seems to self depreciate yourself, and I want you to know that I love you, and that will never change, no matter what happens."

He smiled gently. "Thank you Sano."

Our lips meshed together an instant later, and he moaned into my lips, shuddering in my arms. I wrapped my arms tighter around his tiny waist, pressing him closer to my body. His back arched, pushing his lower body closer against me. I growled into his lips, and then pulled back from him an instant later, panting heavily.

I caressed his cheek gently, pushing his bangs behind his ear. "Kenshin?"

He blinked cutely at me. "Yes Sano?"

"I want you to know that I love you. I have wanted a lot of things in my life, but there's one thing that I've never wanted more. I want to grow old with you Kenshin. I want to stay by your side; I want to die in your arms. I want to be staring into your eyes as I leave this world, and I want to be there for you through everything. I want to be with you forever, no," I cut myself off. "Forever isn't long enough. I want to be with you for eternity, after death, for as long as I am able."

His eyes were wide, his lips parted slightly as he stared at me in shock. He was trembling in my arms, and he pulled in a shuddering breath. "Sano… are you…"

"Marry me Himura Kenshin. Become Sagara Kenshin. Spend the rest of your life with me, and beyond. Stay with me, no matter what." I said, cupping his cheek and stroking my thumb over his cross scar.

"I…" I watched as tears filled his eyes, and then spilled over to flow down his cheeks. "I will. Of course I will Sano!" He threw his arms around my neck, crying into my neck. "I love you Sano! I love you!"

I held him as he cried, stroking his back. As he sobbed in happiness I felt my own eyes begin to burn, and then I cried right along with him, having never been so happy in my life. Kenshin loved me, he wanted to marry me. My life couldn't get any better.

The conclusion of this tale? I loved him. You couldn't get any simpler than that.

Random spur of the moment. Please review, and once again, please don't review and complain to me if you don't like it! I warned you!