Here's my reposted and rewritten version of "Breasts, Oh Wonderful, Breasts!".
So don't say I stole the idea. I used to be known as Cats Go Meow.
Warnings: Pervertedness, language.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. Thanks for rubbing it in my face.
A world without breasts, is a tragic one. What would make a girl special, without them, apart from her part down below, which you don't see? Nothin', that's what.
Boobs. Knockers. Breasts. Tits.
Whatever you call them, if you're a guy, you know you love them. It wouldn't be enjoyable to watch woman young and old jumping on trampolines otherwise, with their boobs flapping around the sexy fashion they do. There would be no enjoyment from peeking in on a young woman in the shower, because you would be nothing to see!
How could you tell the difference between a boy and a girl? Sometimes girl's have short hair and sometimes boys have long. So, unless you peeped inside their panties, you wouldn't be able to tell.
I couldn't imagine not waking up every morning to see Tohru's boobs. If she had no boobs, I wouldn't have allowed for her to stay, let alone her friends come over. Lucky they have boobs too.
God, if they weren't developed yet…
If it wasn't for Yuki and Kyo, I would have fucked Tohru straight already. But no, I have to keep my cool. Watch her breasts from afar. Damn teens.
And think! Porn would not be enjoyable! I know one person who would be mad about that, other than me… (Kyo: "HEY! I told you not to tell anyone about that!")
And the only girl I can actually have sex with, has smaller boobs than a five year old! That's right, Akito! I think everyone is just conspiring to ruin my sex life.
I mean really, it doesn't really make sense that Akito has no knockers. She should.
So come with me, friends, family, followers! Let us damn a boobless world to Hell, with all we've got! So quick, grab the closest girl and feel her up, before everyone becomes like Akito!
"Umm, Shigure?" Tohru questioned her eyes filled with confusion and worry. Shigure shook his head softly before turning to her, a perverted grin on his face.
"Yes, my flower?"
"YOU JUST SAID ALL THAT SHIT OUT LOUD! YOU SCARED TOHRU TO DEATH, YA STINKIN' MUTT!"
Shigure drank in everything Kyo had just yelled, before grinning even stupider than he was. It seemed he didn't care. Then, with a swift movement, Shigure ran his hand across Tohru's breasts and ran off, calling behind him,
"You can't hide Tohru forever, boys!"
With that, the three teens sat in dead silence; Tohru because she'd just been felt up, Yuki because he thought he was going to explode and Kyo, well, if he had gotten up, he would have murdered Shigure a thousand times over.
Happy days, happy days.
What? Boobs are fun!
I own some.