Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or real people portrayed in this story. The characters belong to Vince McMahon and WWE, and the real people belong to themselves.

A/N: Okay, so this is a new story, it will have multiple parts. It's not my usual stuff. I've never even written John Cena before, except for as a very tertiary character. I don't know if it's cool or not, whatever, I hope it is. I've also never done a Christian/Trish story, let alone a Trish/John story. So let me know what you think, be brutal if you want, I'm not overly sensitive.

Oh, and to clarify a little bit. This doesn't really have a specific timeframe, and Chris Jericho IS in the story, so obviously he isn't gone. And it doesn't really follow storyline TOO much. And Stephanie is not pregnant in this story. I think that's pretty much all you need to know. :)

Anyways, enjoy, and PLEASE review! (Especially because this isn't my usual shipper couple!)

She watches him in TNA. Faithfully too. She sits down on her couch and she watches, regardless of anything else going on, on that particular day. She carves out the time in her brain, making a mental note and checking it day after day after day. Its something of a comfort, maybe comfort is too strong a word. It gives her something to focus on, and her focus has been elsewhere these past few weeks, months, however long it has been. She can't recall it off the top of her head.

If you asked her what happened on the show, she wouldn't be able to tell you. If you asked her how many matches he's had, she couldn't give you the exact number. The words that come out of his mouth go in one ear and quickly make their exit out the other. But she sees him. That's what she does when she watches, she sees. And it may seem silly to hear or think about, of course she sees him, she isn't blind so she should see him.

But it's more than that, and she knows it. She sees him. She locks her eyes on him like he's a target she's waiting to shoot at. She watches him, intently, not necessarily looking for body language or any secret sign, she just…she watches him. She can't tell you anything that happens, but she can tell you how sometimes, if they get really close-up, his eyes get this sparkle in them. She would like to attribute it to a feeling he has, but more than likely, the lights are bright in the arena he's at, and they're glaring off his eyes.

She's pathetic, she knows it too. She doesn't need anyone to tell her that, and nobody does. She's distracted mostly, and maybe people are talking about her, maybe they aren't, she wouldn't know and couldn't tell you. It's not a sadness, and it doesn't go beyond sadness. It's just a distraction, a minor inflection in her brain. But distracted she is, and she hasn't found anything to remedy that.

She had never been affected in this way before. Did she love him? She didn't know, couldn't say if she was or she wasn't. Nobody had asked her since she left and so she hadn't thought about it for more than a moment, and oftentimes, you need more than a moment to figure out if you're in love or not. These fleeting moments where she thought about it were much too short to process what was in her mind.

It didn't matter anyhow, whatever she and Christian had was long gone, dust in the wind. She and Christian had been over for months now, and he should have no thought in her mind. She had moved on, well, if you could consider dating someone else moving on. She didn't know why she watched him in TNA so vigilantly, she had John now and John was really good to her, he was good for her. So why did she feel so bad that she had to hide the fact that she watched Christian from him?

"You know why," she muttered to herself as she looked over the script for tonight's show. "You know the exact reason why."

"I know," she answered herself. Now she was a pathetic loser who was talking to herself like she was the most intelligent person in the world. She had no answers for any questions. Her brain was mush and she was just going along with the most basic of instincts. At least that's how she felt sometimes; she felt like she was drifting through a fog.

"Hey babe," John said, walking into her locker room.

She looked up and smiled, glad for the companionship. John was nothing like he was on-screen, nothing like him. This John was funny, sweet, kind, and he dropped that whole "thug" persona as soon as he stepped backstage, and for that she was glad. She didn't know if she could deal with him if he acted the exact same way that he acted in the ring. But then maybe he wouldn't like her if she acted the same way that she did in the ring.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?"

"Came to see you for a second then I've got to head on back out, big night for me tonight because of what's going to happen this weekend."

"Why is that?" she asked coyly, knowing the answer, but still asking.

John walked over to the couch and leaned down to grab her hands, pulling her up from the couch. She placed her hands on his t-shirted chest and rubbed up and down his upper chest for a moment. He winked down at her, and it was moments like these that she could forget that someone named Christian ever existed. She was grateful for those moments, however few and far between they came.

"Got a big match this Sunday that I want my girlfriend to watch and cheer for me."

"I will be, don't you worry about that," she flirted. "And you know you're going to win anyways. I mean, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when."

"Do you think Hunter wants to kick my ass because they're keeping the title on me?"

"Nah, he's too busy with the engagement," Trish said, punching John in the stomach playfully. "And after the show we're going to…"

"Finish that sentence," he joked.

"John, what are we going to do after the show?"

"Rip each other's clothes off and then have sex?"

She punched him a little harder in the stomach. "No, although I did have that in mind before you so rudely ignored what we were supposed to do after the show. Now I won't even take my clothes off for bed, I'll sleep fully clothed."

"Geez, you say one thing and suddenly your girlfriend turns prude," John said, gathering the blonde up in his arms. "If I take you out to a nice dinner, wine you and dine you to the best of my abilities, will you at least take your socks off in bed?"

"I'll think about it," she said, giving him a smirk and then leaning up to kiss him on the chin.

"What? Now you're stiffing me with the kisses?" John said, jaw dropping. "What's next? We're going to have to sleep in different hotels?"

"John, don't tempt me," she said, turning her back on him, but she had already had a hold of his hand so she brought it over her shoulder and led him out of the locker room.

"Where are you taking me? Am I going to be fitted for some cement boots?" he asked, walking right behind her so she could feel the heat of his body permeating off of him and warming her up.

"Johnny," she said sweetly, calling him by her pet name. "Sometimes the joking gets on my nerves."

"I know something that doesn't get on your nerves," John told her, leaning down to pepper her neck with kisses. She closed her eyes at the contact, welcoming the hot breath against the sensitive parts of her neck. She felt him move up to her jaw line and go right under her ear, one of her most sensitive points and she moaned lowly, just loud enough for him to hear and respond.

"You're killing me Johnny," she breathed quietly.

"Good, I think you need to be killed." She opened her eyes and turned to him, laughing with a slight snort. "Okay, that came out so wrong."

She laughed and pulled away from him, walking backwards so she was facing him. "I don't know what you were trying to go for right there."

"Well, obviously, I was trying to sound sexy, but I don't think you being killed is quite the brand of sexy that I was going for."

"Good for me then," she said, still laughing.

As long as she was laughing, the façade was in place. What nobody knew about Trish Stratus was that she was an excellent architect. Yes, Trish was an architect, and you might be thinking, no, she was pre-med at one time, but Trish's true calling was architecture. She was an expert at building up walls. She built up walls so quickly that people couldn't even see them. Yes, she could build invisible walls and she was great at it. She was like a magician.

They often say laughter is the best medicine (who "they" are is up to interpretation of course), and for Trish, it was the closest thing to normalcy that she could feel. Something was constantly nagging on her brain, except when she was laughing. Maybe that's what attracted her to John in the first place. He made her laugh and she needed to laugh, she needed to feel like she was normal again. Because she hadn't felt normal since Christian's departure.

How could she equate something to Christian's departure? What kind of metaphor or simile would be most appropriate? Christian leaving was like…fleeing in the night. He had darted out so quickly that she had not seen him go. Sure, he had said his goodbyes, his "I'm sorry's," but it was still…he still…it was just like he had fled in the night from some faceless and nameless demon that chased him.

Maybe Trish had been that demon, she didn't know. She had never asked, so she sat there and she watched him in TNA and she tried so hard to just forget him, to purge him from her life, but what they had was intense. It was the most intense kind of experience Trish had ever been a part of. In every person's life, there should be at least one intense experience that just makes everything pale in comparison. She looked around and saw other people in love and she was happy for them, but she had been in love with Christian. That's why it was so hard.

John was not intense, it just wasn't in his nature to be super intense. With him, things were light and fun and just a whirlwind of…everything. It was different, but she couldn't say that it was a bad different. It was just…different. By now John was staring at her because she was staring off into space, not paying attention to a word that she had said.

"Trish, what's up?"

Trish blinked a couple of times, clearly out of it before lifting her eyebrow in question, "Huh?"

"You blanked out on me, you also almost ran into that table," he said, pointing his finger towards a table right behind her and a little to the right. "What's going on in that head of yours? Thinking about jumping me tonight, or right now? Whichever works for me, really."

"No, I was just…thinking, that's all. I've got that match with Mickie coming up and I have to focus on that so I don't go out and embarrass myself, or Mickie since I want her to come out looking good too, and since she's new and I'm not, I'm really going to have to be the one in charge of the match…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't ask to hear your whole life story because I've heard that, so you explained yourself, it's all good."

"Okay…" Short and sweet, just how she liked it. She turned so she was by his side again and he held her hand in his. She liked his hand, it was strong and dwarfed her own. She wasn't lying when she told John that she had feelings for him. She did have feelings for him, don't get her wrong, but she needed more time with him. She looked up ahead and saw Hunter and Stephanie walking down the hallway, talking animatedly. Hunter had his arm around Stephanie's waist and she was looking up at him.

"I bet you I know what they're talking about," John told her.

She laughed. "Are you kidding me? They're talking about the same thing they've been talking about for weeks, the engagement party. She's like obsessed with it. And he just goes along with it."

"Hey guys!" Stephanie said.

"Where are you going Steph?" Trish asked.

"Dinner with Hunter, we're going to discuss the--"

"Engagement party," John and Trish said in unison and Trish nudged her hip against John's. They had been so right because Stephanie was so predictable.

"Hey, come on, I'm not that bad," Stephanie pouted. "Am I that bad Hunter?"

"You're a big help," is all he said, knowing he would get in trouble if he answered in the affirmative. "That's what you are."

"Well, anyways, we're going to dinner to finalize some plans, the party is next week, and you two are definitely coming right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Trish said. "The way that you're playing it up, it's going to be the party of the century. We can't miss the party of the century, we'd be social outcasts, and we don't want that, right Johnny?"

"Yes, right Johnny," Hunter said in a high-pitched voice.

"You call me Johnny one more time and I'm going to kick your ass for real and you won't even be able to have our title match, which I'm winning anyways."

"Okay boys, testosterone levels down," Stephanie said. "We're getting out of here, and we will see you later, bye lovebirds."

Stephanie and Hunter walked off and Hunter turned to Stephanie, "Do you think we should've told her."

"I'll handle it."


"Hunter, I know you were the one to invite him, but let me handle it okay, I'm better friends with Trish than you are…so just let me handle it. She's just going to have to deal with the fact that Christian is coming."

Trish was completely unaware as she continued walking down the hallway, only to be confronted with Chris Jericho a few moments later. Seeing Chris always reminded her of Christian. Christian had been one of his best friends, and it was just…well, it brought back memories, memories that she had held on to for so long.

"Hey Trish, John," Chris said shortly. "Did I just see Hunter and Stephanie?"

"Yeah, you did, they're going out to dinner for--"

"The engagement party," Chris groaned. "I can't believe how obsessed Stephanie is over that. You'd think that she'd get a grip or something. Totally annoying."

"Don't let her hear you say that, or she's going to kick your ass," John said.

"I know," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "Whatever, I don't really care about whatever engagement party. I'm just going and drinking and maybe making an embarrassing toast to the happy couple and then leaving with my woman."

"Sounds like you've got a solid plan," Trish said sarcastically.

"So…" Chris said, suddenly remembering who was going to the party and now feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Have you taken a look at the guest list?"

"Nope, I just know me and my man are going to be there and we're going to have a ton of fun," Trish said, swinging her and John's hands between their bodies.

"Oh…" Chris was NOT going to be the one to let that cat out of that bag. "Yeah, you are, tons of fun, it figures to be one hell of a party. Just keep it on the hush-hush."

"It's hushed," Trish said.

"Look, it's nice chatting, but I've got work to do, and you're just bugging me now Jericho," John said, giving him a look.

"Likewise," Chris said, slapping him on the back. He wondered if he should say something to John about Christian being there, but he decided against it and just let them walk past him. He wondered how Trish was going to react seeing Christian there. He wondered how Christian was going to react seeing Trish AND John there. There was going to be some major fireworks.

"Okay babe, I've got a promo to do and then I'm all yours."

"Okay Johnny." He leaned down to give her a peck on the lips before walking away and up the stairs to the set. She was always a little bit sad when he left because it left her with her thoughts and they always started to wander towards one man. It was a strange existence that Trish was leading.

She was torn between two men, and neither one even knew it.