Pre

My name is Raven.

One day, I'm going to destroy the world.

It's what the priestesses tell me. They tell me my father was a demon, and that's why I'm going to destroy the world. I tell them I would never do such a thing, but they told me it was fate. They told me I have powers that are controlled by what I feel, so I need to control my emotions. I try to tell them all the things that keep breaking isn't my fault, but they don't believe me. They say I have to accept my powers.

But why bother if I'm just going to destroy anything, anyway?

I don't want to mediate. I don't want any powers. I want to be with the other children, and with my mother, and...

I want to be normal.

"Raven?"

I open my eyes a little and see Teacher looking at me.

"Are you alright?"

I sniffle and wipe my eyes.

"Yes, Teacher."

"Raven...you know we've had this talk before."

"Yes, Teacher."

I squirm uncomfortably on the cold stone floor of the temple.

They tell me once my training's complete, I can be with the others. So I try and I try, but...

My butt hurts. And it's cold. And I'm bored.

And now my nose itches.

And I want this to be done.

I peek out, ever-so-slightly, and look towards the sky.

"The sun won't set any sooner under your vigil, Raven."

...

Every day is the same. Meditation, studying, meditation, studying. It's boring. I want something different.

"Alright, I believe mediation is over for today."

"Yes, Teacher."

I walk back to my room, like I always do. Like I always do, I stare up at the sky. I watch the clouds drift by...

I want to fly. I want to fly off the cold stone floor and into the soft clouds. I could laugh, and cry, and scream as loud as a I wanted, and nothing bad would happen. There would be nothing to break, no one to tell me to control myself...

There wouldn't be anyone, would there?

...

Maybe I don't want to fly that high.

When I reach my room, I look over my bookshelf, like I always do. I don't know what I want to read. I don't do much in my free time but read, so I finished many of these books. I haven't read the books Mother brought me that much, though. Maybe I'll read the one about the girl who goes to visit her grandmother...

...She's eaten by a wolf.

Maybe I'll read the one about the mermaid princess...

...She can never be with the one she loves.

I pick out St. George and the Dragon. As I read, my mind drifts to the dragon. I wonder why the dragon is the way it is. Maybe it wasn't always bad. Maybe the dragon can't help doing what it does. Maybe...it's just fate...

...The dragon dies at the end.

...

I close the book and look at the cover. My mother gave me this book.

My mother came from a much different world. She doesn't talk much about that world. I ask her why, and she says she doesn't have much good to say. But it's where she found all the books she gave me, so it couldn't be that bad a place.

...A place of misunderstood monsters, and heartbroken princesses, and swallowed up little girls...

...

...Maybe it is a bad place...

I don't want to be here, but there's nowhere to go. It seems no matter where you go, you will be sad. Even if I was normal, would I be any happier?

...My stomach feels like it's in a knot. I take a deep breath and push everything down.

I stare up at the night sky. I want to cry, but I can't. I can't let my emotions go uncontrolled, but that makes me want to cry. I can't cry, and that makes me want to scream. I can't scream, so I push it down. I need to control myself so I don't destroy anything, but I'm going to destroy everything in the end.

Even if I learn to control myself...

Even if I ever become normal...

Even if I cry and scream...

What will happen to me then?