author's notes. No, I'm afraid I really don't have a good excuse for this.

.summary.: One of the things nobody knows about Lenny and Carl. LennyCarl oneshot

.disclaimer. I claim absolutely no ownership of The Simpsons or any of its characters.


Lots of people know Lenny and Carl. They've been best friends for… Forever, possibly. They're always together. They're your typical best friends - they drink together, they work together, they complain to each other when the world is being unfair.

They're really lucky to have each other, people say. Somebody somewhere did something right when they put those two in the same place at the same time.

Somebody did something right.

Everyone knows Lenny and Carl live together. They assume that they're just two bachelor best friends splitting the cost of holding down an apartment. That's nice, they think, because then neither of them are alone, and who wouldn't like to live with their best friend, anyway?

Sometimes the topic of their living arrangement comes up in conversation with a co-worker, and their co-worker will jokingly say, "you two are lucky you go home to each other and not to some maniac of a spouse. Must be peaceful in your house. Must be nice."

And Lenny and Carl will give strained smiles and murmur a non-committal agreement. Sometimes Lenny thinks of the stupid fight they had last night. Sometimes Carl apologises with his eyes, and Lenny mouths "I'm sorry" when their co-worker's back is turned.

It's amazing what people can blind themselves to, if that is what they wish.

It's their coffee break one day at work, and Lenny realises he forgot his lunch. Carl sighs, rolls his eyes and hands him a brown paper bag, with a tolerant and fond, "you left it in the kitchen." (You're an idiot, but I love you anyway)

"Gee, I'm so dumb! Thanks, Carl!" (I don't know what I'd do without you)

They exchange a smile that reveals a little of what they're not saying, but the intimacy of the gesture zooms straight over Homer's head as he says, "yeah, Lenny's such an idiot."

The indulgent smiles are wiped off their faces immediately and they blush for a second - oops, looks like we forgot where we are - before Carl agrees, smacking Lenny gently upside the head as he does so.

Their eyes are smiling.

On their coffee break at work today, Homer won't notice that Lenny and Carl's hands meet 'accidentally' over the donut box a few times too many to be believable.

When they stop at Moe's after work today, everybody else will be too drunk to see Carl's hand alight briefly on Lenny's thigh.

Nobody will see them do their grocery shopping at the Kwik-E-Mart on Sunday night, argue over what brand of washing detergent to buy, and then make up with a kiss during the drive home.

Everybody thinks they know everything there is to know about Lenny and Carl, but really they know nothing at all.

.author's notes. Written about eight months ago, and appropriately in need of a good polish. But I'm stupidly fond of it, for some reason. This one was resurrected from the darkest recesses of my PC, it almost never saw the light of day (whether or not that would have been better, of course…)