Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto, or The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. Dang, I wish I was smart like those guys!

GothGurl: Been meaning to write this, it's from Kakashi's POV...and not much else to say about it XD. On with the...poem!

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Once upon a morning clear, while I pondered, sick with fear,

Over the cry of a Beast I'd surely heard before.

While I fretted, nearly meeting, the sound of someone harshly beating

Something strange pounding, pounding rudely upon my very door

"Its just Gai," I mumbled, "harshly beating upon my very door,

only him, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I recall, it was in the golden midst of fall,

when I was promoted, a jounin of lore.

Eagerly I met my neighbors, learned of their lives and loves and labors.

Until they said, "There is one more, stay away from him we do implore,

from the green-clothed beast most insane to the core,

he's a freak and nothing more."

And so I listened to each tale, of behaviour unseen in an adult male

and soon I was quite disturbed with images I'd never seen before.

But now I stand at my wits end, how the HELL had he become my friend!

"It's Gai," I muttered, "he's come to harass me like he has before-

once again, he has come to harass me like he has before."

It's only Gai and nothing more.

Straight for the door I went turning, my crankiness inside me burning,

and still the beast pounded loudly, loudly on my door.

"Gai!" I cried, "I'm tired, don't you see? If you wanted a challenge go find Lee!

You'd better not continue to beat rudely upon my very door,

your ass I'll kick if you continue beating rudely upon my door."

Stiil the green beast pounded more.

Then he did break down my door, this brings his count from three to four

and he went skidding over novels of porn most hardcore

"Though you do not live full your youth, and though your language is very uncouth,

we are rivals and I shall race you to the shore,

our match is tied and now I must race you to the shore!"

This the green beast loudly swore.

Already I'd grown quite tired, it seemed Gai was always wired

and it WAS a challenge, such a tedious old chore

"Look Gai," I moaned, "Why challenge me? We've duked it out lots, so just let things be.

Get back, get back, get back away from my front door!

get your green-spandex butt away from my front door!"

Quoth the green beast, "This means war."

"Damn straight!" said I, "you bizarre man, good thing you don't come from a clan,

I'll fight you, but only if you don't intrude anymore."

Eyes blinked behind a giant nose, and in the moment Gai struck a pose

Posing with his hip stuck out, arms raised high among porn scattered on the floor,

there he was standing, grinning, paying no heed to the porn scattered on the floor.

Quoth the green beast, "This means war."

"Go back to bed you youthless fool, later I challenge you to Pool,

Compete with me then and I'll replace your broken door,

I'll leave at once, we're out of time, we're running out of ways to rhyme,

be not late to train your team, or they'll kick your ass fo' sho'er!"

With a nice guy pose, Gai leapt out my window from the third floor.

Said I to air, "This means war."

And the green-beast still comes booking, mentally insane, and weird looking.

when he can he takes to pounding, pounding loudly on my door,

but he's a friend I can't ignore, oh how can I stand the youthful whore?

from time to time he challenges me and breaks down my own front door,

and till the end of time he'll continue to break down my door,

for we are rivals for evermore.

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GothGurl:...Well, that was interesting. In case you haven't guessed, it's a short, pointless parody of The Raven. Am I a poet? Heck no. But whatever.

And Gai IS a youthful whore, don't even deny it. XD

Review...? If you want to :P