Battle of the Eating Utensils
Battle 07: The Trial
A little over a month ago Seto Kaiba had disappeared from Domino City. He was trapped in an island, the Survivor island. Now he has returned home to his beloved technology with the title of Sole Survivor, however things will take an unexpected turn.
Seto was typing at an inhuman speed in his office at Kaiba Corp. After a few days after his return he no longer looked like lobster, now he was just tan. Mikari was sitting beside him staring, soon the tan would fade away and she wanted to stare at tan Seto as much as possible.
The door was suddenly opened and there stood Pegasus and Marik each with their layer. "We're suing you," they said, and thus Seto was taken to trial.
xoxox xox xoxox
"Order in the court!" The judge as he hit his desk with the Millennium Puzzle. For the judge of this trial was non other than Yugi Moto.
Yami came out of the Puzzle looking dizzy. "Will you please stop hitting my Puzzle on the desk?"
"Sorry Yami, Joey took my hammer," Yugi apologized.
"Why did he take it?" Yami asked.
"I don't know," Yugi had decided it was best not to ask.
xoxox xox xoxox
Meanwhile outside the courtroom. "this is such a friendly game!" T? squealed happily.
"Throw the stick! Throw the stick!" Joey jumped up and down.
"Fetch!" T? threw the little wooden hammer and Joey ran after it and gave it back to T?. She threw it, he returned it, she threw it again, he returned it again, Joey never thought that such a simple activity could be so much fun.
xoxox xox xoxox
Back at courtroom, it was divided in two sections. On the left was Seto, his ten expensive lawyers and Mikari who refused to let go of her beloved bishie-kun. On the right were Marik, Pegasus and their cheap lawyers. In the rows of seats behind Seto's group sat all the Seto fan girls cheering for Seto and on the rows of seats behind Marik and Pegasus sat all the Marik fan girls cheering for Marik. What about the Pegasus fan girls? There was one girl who liked him in the courtroom maybe two, three at most.
"Who will speak first?" Yugi asked.
"I will!" Pegasus was already angry and embarrassed because Seto and Marik made fun of him because he didn't have as many fan girls as they did. "This little boy," Pegasus pointed at Seto who protested.
"I'm not a little boy!" The Sole Survivor argued.
"No he's not!" Mikari started and the fan girls joined in. "He's a cute, sweet, adorable, yummy, tanned bishie!" They all replied in unison.
"Fine, fine!" Pegasus said angrily. "That cute, sweet, adorable, yummy tanned bishie..."
Seto interrupted Pegasus. "Ew, don't call me that!"
The fan girls glared at Pegasus and Mikari informed him that, "we have exclusive right to call Seto cute, sweet, adorable, yummy tanned bishie. If you use that name for him again we'll sue you!"
"Yeah!" The fan girls squealed.
"Okay, I get the message!" Pegasus was even more frustrated. "That," he searched for the right word to call Seto, "that meany head."
Suddenly a group of people that looked like Kaiba Corp. executives ran into the courtroom. "We have exclusive right to call Mr. Kaiba meany head! This right is only granted to his employees and if you call him meany head again we'll sue you!"
Yugi banged the puzzle on the desk again. "Order! Order! Enough about suing people!"
Yami came out of the puzzle again. "You must really enjoy giving me a headache!"
"Sorry Yami, I had to do something or this trial will never end let alone start. Pegasus, why don't you just call him Kaiba?" Yugi extended his hand with the Puzzle toward Yami. But Yami shook his head and decided to wait outside until the trial was over.
Pegasus continued his accusation, "Kaiba stole my island!"
Seto interrupted again. "Objection! I didn't steal his island; it was given to me as a price because I won at Survivor!"
"Take that!" Yugi yelled.
Seto blinked, "what?"
"Never mind, I just really wanted to say that. Okay, time for my verdict," Yugi hit the desk with the Millennium Puzzle once more and Yami glared at his hikari. "What? You're not in it now. Anyway, my verdict is," Seto waved at Yugi with a dollar in his hand. "Kaiba is non-guilty so Pegasus is guilty, take him away! Oh, yeah and Kaiba can keep the island." Duke and Tristan came in dressed in police uniforms and dragged Pegasus out of the courtroom.
The trial was about to continue when Mai came running in. "Mr. Kaiba how do you feel now that the trial is over." She held a microphone so close to his face he almost ate it.
"The trial isn't over," Seto pointed out.
"What will you do with your island?" Mai asked.
"Build a tower on it," Seto predictably replied.
"Is it true you sleep with a Blue Eyes White Dragon Plushie named Bluesy?" Mai continued her interview.
"No comment," Seto replied.
"But you have to answer me! I'm the press! I'm the media! I'm the celebrity stalker! You have to answer! You have to!" Mai yelled.
"Mai we're running out of time, we need to go interview that guy who claims he can talk to fish," Ryou, who was holding the camera, reminded her.
"Fine, I'm leaving. This is Mai Valentine reporting live at 10:00am for the 5:00pm news!" Mai and Ryou left.
"Um... who's turn is it?" Yugi walked over to Seto to get his dollar then went back to the judge's stand.
"My turn, he stole my tan!" Marik pointed at Seto.
"How do you steal a tan?" Seto wondered.
"If I knew, I would have stopped you from stealing it!" Marik glared.
"I didn't steal anything!" Seto yelled.
"I have a witness!" Marik yelled back.
"Very well, call your witness to the stand and if he's not as cheap with bribes as Kaiba, you win," Yugi agreed to hear the witness.
"Hey!" Seto complained.
"I call Mr. Fuzzy to the stand!" Marik placed a cat plushie on the stand. "What's that Mr. Fuzzy? Kaiba stole my tan? Well you heard him!" The entire courtroom was silent except for the occasional cheering of Marik's fan girls.
"I'm not sure what my verdict is. Kaiba gave me a dollar but Marik brought a witness..." Yugi thought for a moment until a girl sitting in the back of the courtroom raised her hand. "Yes, miss?"
The fan girl stood up and spoke. "I think we should compare the tans to see if they really are the same."
"That's a good idea. But how do we do that?" Yugi asked.
The girl giggled. "Just get the bishies to stand next to each other and," she giggled more. "Take off their shirts!" All the other girls in the room clapped and cheered. The girl with the idea took a bow and waved at everyone.
Yugi knew that he better agree to that idea or he would have an army of Seto and Marik angry fan girls after him. "Okay, lets do that. Kaiba and Marik please come to the front and take off your shirts like the lady said. Seto and Marik both glared at Yugi but did as he said knowing they had no choice. Each of the girls in the room got her camera ready and the two tanned shirtless bishies were beginning to think this was a setup arranged by the fan girls.
"Say your verdict already!" Seto and Marik complained.
"It seems that because of the sun on Survivor island Kaiba ended up having a tan like Marik's after he stopped being lobster boy. However Marik's tan became darker therefore the tans are not the same. Kaiba's tan should disappear in a few weeks and Marik's tan will go back to the old color. My verdict is that you're both guilty because you both got more tanned then me!" Yugi felt the deadly glare of the fan girls ready to attack him. "I mean you're both non-guilty!" The girls cheered, the bishies put their shirts back on, and made a run for it, jumped on Seto's helicopter and flew away.
Mikari, as always, followed Seto, jumped in the helicopter and started hugging him again. Marik was taking to Mr. Fuzzy telling him about the nice view from the helicopter. The Seto and Marik fan girls followed the helicopter from the ground. Meanwhile, the Yugi fan girls managed to find him and were chasing him around the courtroom. Pegasus was in jail and so our story ends.
xoxox xox xoxox
"Lar! Why are you watching that old trial video again?" Seto yelled. He paused and watched as his sister tried to eat ice-cream with a fork, then proceeded to point and laugh.
"Don't laugh at me!" Laria attacked with the fork, which Seto countered with a spoon, and the duel of eating utensils continued.
End of Battle 07
Credits, this fanfic is based on LariaKaiba's fanfic Survivor (link in my favorites) so credits go to her. Disclaimer, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! and I don't own Survivor. Cookies if you caught the reference to Phoenix Wright. I also don't own Laria or Mr. Fuzzy.