A/N. Yeah, that's right, people, I'm NOT dead! xDDD
NSync owns God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You. If I owned this pretty song, I would change the title. -.-
Anywhos, hope you liked this ficcie! ;P Tried to keep them as in-character as possible...: -pokes review button-
"You..." His cold pools of amber stared stonily into her half-lidded chocolate ones. "Why?" he demanded bitterly.
Her head fell slightly to the side, just barely, but enough so her eyes could rest upon the glowing orbs that escaped the bloodless wound in her flesh. It didn't hurt. She had died once before. Would it be so different to die this time?
"Why?" Sesshomaru repeated again, more coldly this time, tainted with a bit of anger and impatience.
"I have my reasons..."Kikyo murmured quietly, her voice barely audible, yet ringing softly in the air with hints of bitterness. She shifted her body so that her back was straight as it rested against the tree behind her. She didn't want to seem weak, even if she were breathing her last breaths of life.
He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I have mild patience for you. I shall repeat myself only once. Why did you do it?" His eyes flickered with a dim fire that seemed to gaze into her bleak orbs accusingly.
Kikyo tilted her head to the left, causing strands of her raven hair to fall over the right half of her milky face. She closed her eyes slowly, whispering softly, "You may interrogate me, but I shall not answer."
His golden eyes burned with the flames of anger itself, and he clenched his hand tightly into a fist, as if he were resisting the urge to grab her throat. But what was the point? She was already going to die. But he needed some answers first.
But she wasn't giving them.
"You are obstinate, woman," Sesshomaru finally spoke, his voice filled with annoyance yet amusement. How could her stubborn attitude be so irritating yet so appealing?
Her eyelids fluttered open slightly, reveal only half of her brown marbles. The corner of her lips twitched slightly, as if she wanted to smile, but couldn't. Instead, she laughed, but it was a feeble one of bitterness and sadness. "You are too," Kikyo remarked softly. "Just like...your brother."
Sesshomaru became dangerously close to the raven-haired maiden as he made a swift grab for her exposed throat, but instead of closing his fingers around her neck, he found himself clutching her arm harshly, so harshly that his claws dug into her flesh. She did not wince, nor did she show any signs of pain. This only angered him more.
"You dare compare me to my pathetic brother?" Sesshomaru whispered coldly, his amber orbs glaring angrily and glinting with a faint fire that dimmed solemnly.
She frowned deeply, but it wasn't one of pain or irritation. It was full of...sadness, as if her belief that he was like his brother saddened her. She seem so fragile and sorrowful that he found his anger fading, yet still remaining ablaze, ever so slightly.
"You...and he...are alike..." she breathed softly, her half-lidded eyes averting his and gazing somewhere else, as if merely looking at him brought her so much pain. It wasn't that they looked alike. True, they did share a few similiarities in appearances. But what seemed alike were their eyes. The amber eyes that were meant to be devoid of emotion, yet holding so much pain and longing, a sad pain that so resembled her own.
His rough hold on her arm loosened a bit. Choosing to ignore her words, he asked again, "Why did you save him...? And...myself...?" Sesshomaru stared stonily and intently at Kikyo, as if attempting to search for the answers she would not give.
Her deep hazel eyes rose to meet his, and he instantly felt a faint jolt within him. Even though it was faint, it was sudden and surprising, and it was enough to make him stiffen with confusion and puzzlement. It was as if...she weren't looking at him, but past and beyond him...
"I saved him..." she began slowly, as if trying to choose the right words. "Because I knew...how sad...those close to him would feel...if he died..." A flash of anguish flashed through her eyes, so clearly that it seemed as if her eyes alone were telling more than her lips were.
"I saved you...because I...chose to..."Kikyo finished gently, her voice lowering with a silent feeling he couldn't comprehend. She had answered both of his questions, but apparantly, he wasn't satisfied. He narrowed his golden eyes, studying her with slight anger and irritation in his eyes.
"Why did you choose to save me?" he questioned coldly. He didn't know whether he was supposed to be grateful, or angered. But the thought of him being grateful to anyone, nonetheless, a human, disgusted him so much that anger took over.
"I apologize..." she murmured softly, turning away. "But my motives...were purely personal."
Apparantly, questioning her would have no result. What a stubborn woman, he mused scornfully. Just like Inuyasha.
Could Kikyo even be compared to his pathetic brother?
They had been lovers, he recalled bitterly. Apparantly, their love had been shattered by Naraku. And now, Kikyo was nothing in Inuyasha's eyes. He hadn't even bothered to see how she was, even when she saved his pathetic life. He just ran off to protect her reincarnation. Pathetic.
Pathetic. To think that Inuyasha would stoop to something as low to disregarding his former love and chasing after her reincarantion. She was a human, of course, and Sesshomaru couldn't care less, but Sesshomaru still believed she didn't deserve all of that pain, and most of all, she didn't deserve the half-breed. Inuyasha was such a disgrace to his bloodline and his race as a demon.
Sesshomaru's golden eyes fell upon the illuminating orbs that continued to flow from her wound before flickering back to her face. She seemed so weak and fragile, yet calm and powerful. But she was only human.
Her weakness was her strength. Her strength was her weakness.
Her weakness was love. Her strength was love. Love was her downfall and power.
Love, he mused thoughtfully and scornfully. Love was such a pathetic feeling.
"You chose to save my brother for the sake of those who cared for him..." he began thoughtfully, narrowing his eyes as he studied her intently. "Is that all?" He stared at her stonily, as if trying to accuse her.
She shook her head slightly, locking eyes with him nonchalantly. "I saved him for the sake of others...as well as my own," she explained mildly, her voice trailing off quietly, leaving a silent whisper that echoed in his mind.
"...You...love him?" He stared at her, dumbfounded and stunned, but he tried not to make it seem obvious that he was disgusted by that fact. Disgusted and...angry. "You still love him?"
After all the pain and agony Inuyasha had put her through...she still loved him?
She closed her eyes, remaining utterly silent for what seemed to be an eternity. It dawned on him that he was still holding her arm, and he immediately jerked his hand free, allowing his slightly clenched fist to dangle limply by his side.
She was so hard to understand. It frusterated and angered him, yet at the same time, appealed and interested him. It was as if she were an ocean of water. The surface of the water, like herself, seemed so exposed and easy to analyze, yet deeper into the depths of the ocean lay a mystery that could never be discovered.
"He may love her now," she whispered softly, her engimatic voice tainted with slight bitterness and sadness."But I shall never hate him...nor her. If he loves her, I can not change his feelings."
"That may be so...but why love him when his heart belongs to another?" he demanded.
A shadow of a smile crept onto the the lips that were so devoid of happiness. Her smile seemed so forced, yet willing, as if she didn't want to smile, but wanted to nonetheless, despite the fact that his brother loved another girl. She looked so calm...yet so crestfallen that his eyes softened slightly, but still managed to stay firm and cold.
"I have always been dead..." she stated bitterly, her voice gradually lowering with every word. "But he has always made me feel like I have a heart. It's strange..." Here, she paused to give a weak laugh, a sad laugh that seemed to contain all of her feelings - anger, envy, gratitude, sadness...
"...But you...like Inuyasha..." she continued softly, ignoring that he flinched when the name escaped her lips. Her voice now had lost all of her bitter anger and frusteration. And now...she sounded...sad and...lonely. "You make me feel like I have a heart too..."
Can this be true?
Tell me, can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?
She closed her eyes, and for a moment, he thought she was dead. Mild relief overcame him as he noticed that the glowing orbs were still pouring rapidly out of her wound, which meant that she was still breathing. However, he became disturbed and troubled, knowing that she wasn't going to last much longer.
"You make me feel like I have a heart too..."
Her words echoed dimly in his mind, like a mantra. A whirlwind of confusion and puzzlement gusted along with her words. A heart...
Inuyasha had always made her feel like she had a heart. She loved him because of that.
Love. Even a dead person could feel it. But how was that possible? The dead were...lifeless.
They embraced no life...no emotions...nothing. They embraced nothing but death.
The dead had no blood...no warmth...nothing. All they had was what could not be called a life. So how...?
How was it that this dead woman could feel love? How could she feel like...she had a heart?
Was that what love was? Love...
Was love a feeling so powerful and strong that it could be felt by a dead person?
And...he made her feel like she had a heart as well?
Her eyelids fluttered open to reveal bleak eyes of hazel that seemed so blank, yet so full of emotions. And...love...?
My life was complete
I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
With her remaining strength, she shakily raised her hand to gently take his, half hidden under the sleeve of his haori. He could do nothing but stare, too confused and stunned to jerk his hand away, or even to say anything.
"Ever since we met..." she whispered softly, her eyes glittering with a dim light that seemed to hold everything that her heart could not contain alone. "Even if we have not been in the company of each other for a long time...you have always made me feel like I had a heart. I had lost that feeling long ago...I had...almost forgotten how it felt to have a heart."
Her other hand reached out to take his, just as she had previously done. He couldn't help thinking how cold yet warm her hands were. "Being with you...had made me relive that feeling. It was...so beautiful..."The last word came out slightly strangled and hushed, as if she were trying hard to keep her voice steady.
"I am...so grateful to you...for making me feel that I had a heart. I have always...felt those emotions for you that I have had for Inuyasha alone. Thank you..." An invisible puddle of water misted in her eyes, and a faint smile spread across her face. Sesshomaru, however, frowned slightly, feeling a mixture of pleasure yet confusion and puzzlement.
He made her feel like she had a heart?
A heart that could feel...for him?
How could the woman who loved Inuyasha feel the same love she had once held for him...for Sesshomaru?
"Forgive me, but please...please allow me to have this one moment..." One of her hands reached for the collar of his haori, and she clenched her fingers gently upon the fabric. He did not speak a word, but he merely watched, following her movements with his eyes.
"...For I shall never have it again..." she finished wistfully, her words drifting away, lost, in the winds. She drew him closer to her, and only then was his face just a few inches away from her that he realized her intentions. Before he could pull away or protest, their lips had made a gentle collision.
Her lips were soft, softer than anything he had ever touched in his life. She wasn't forceful or harsh, like she wanted to possess him.The kiss was loving, passionate, deepening with every passing second. However, he couldn't help thinking that her kiss was confusing and mysterious at the same time. Was this what Inuyasha had felt, kissing the maiden he had once loved?
Bewilderment and confusion swept through his mind with a throbbing sensation. Was he supposed to accept it? Allow her to kiss him? Kiss her back?
Through the whirlwind of puzzlement and confusion, he felt mild anger as well. Who did she think she was to kiss him like that? What was she doing? Was she pretending that he, Sesshomaru, was Inuyasha? Was she replacing Sesshomaru with Inuyasha in her mind and kissing the man she could never have?
Aside from his negative emotions about this situation, a pleasant sensation flickered dimly within him. Was this what it felt like to kiss someone? Was this what it felt like...to love someone?
Even dead, she could feel...this?
I never thought that love could feel like this
And you've changed my world with just one kiss
Her lips parted from his, and she drew back slightly, enough for him to have a full view of her face. He felt her hand leave the collar of his haori, only to feel her gently grab his hand again. She smiled sadly, her mahogany eyes growing misty with longing and sorrow.
"Thank you, Sesshomaru...for making me feel like I have a heart..." she whispered softly, her gentle voice full of sadness yet bliss all at once. She looked into his eyes once more, as if she were too weak to tell him anything else, and wanted him to read the message in her sad eyes.
Sesshomaru felt the cold warmth leave his hand as her eyelids slowly crept over her sad orbs, as slowly as a mother would peel the covers from a sleeping child. He stared briefly at her bloodless wound, his heart growing cold as he realized that her life energy was no longer within her.
His eyes fell upon her pale hands, which had just been gently holding his own, giving him a cold feeling of the dead, yet the silent warmth within. Then his amber orbs rose to gaze upon her face, which just had alive eyes that were full of emotions...and...love...
She was so beautiful, even in death. It was as if she cast an image of something tragic…something sorrowful...something pitiful...something beautiful...
How could the spirit of a human remain so pure, even in and after death?
How could Kikyo remain pure and untainted, even suffering through silent darkness that promised pain?
It was all because of love...
Sesshomaru closed his eyes and smirked, not a smug one, but a satisfied one. His smirk then shifted into a faint smile that marred his once emotionless face.
"I see..." Sesshomaru whispered softly, to no one in particular. "Love...Even the dead can feel it. Is that what love truly is?"
His words were swept away into the wind. No one answered him, but no one needed to. The answer was already within him...and her...
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel?
It's a miracle...
He drew out his sword, the one he loathed greatly for its insignifance. He knew now why his father left Tetsuagia to Inuyasha, yet Tensaiga to him.
Sesshomaru had always questioned to himself why his father had done what he did. It had angered him to know that his father had left him a worthless sword that could not vanquish his foes. But now, he realized...perhaps he was not meant to have a sword that could destroy.
He had always felt that he didn't have a heart. Of course he had a heart that pulsed within his chest, yet he never felt that he had a heart...A heart that could feel.
How could his world change...with just one moment?
With just one look?
One human maiden?
The heart is an amazing thing, he mused thoughtfully.
The blade sliced through her artificial body as he brought it down in one quick, smooth movement. Dropping the sword instantly, he crouched next to her and placed his clawed hand gently on her back, lifting her to rest on his lap, just as he had done to Rin back in the woods years ago.
He instinctively curled his tail around her small form, wrapping her comfortably. He heard her heart pulse steadily, breathing in the life that she had been denied her entire life. Her body didn't feel cold yet warm anymore...It was warm. Truly warm, warmer than anything he had ever felt. She wasn't stiff like she had been, but now, she was soft, and her small body seemed to fit snugly in his embrace. He inhaled deeply, breathing in her scent, deprived of soil and earth. Now she smelled fragrant...clean...fresh, like the renewal of life.
He watched her eyes slowly open, slightly misty from daze and confusion. Her lips were parted slightly, and she weakly tilted her head to stare up at him, puzzled. He gave no explanation, just a simple gaze into her deep hazel eyes.
Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
"Breathe the air of the living, " he responded smoothly, cradling her closer, feeling her heart beat softly against his chest. "You are no longer dead. Kikyo, you now have a life...and a...heart."
Kikyo leaned her face slightly into his haori, feeling the warmth of his soft skin beneath the fabric. Her eyes hazed with a clear mist, and she smiled blissfully as she blinked softly, feeling a wet warmth slide gently down her cheek.
She could feel his fluffy tail wrapped around her slender form, and the slight warmth that radiated from within. His tail was truly warm and soft, like a young rabbit, and it seemed to hold her protectively, like a mother would defend its cub. But what was more pleasant than feeling his tail around her was himself. Even if he was holding her in one arm, she felt protected and safe in his stong yet gentle cradle. His arm curled around her in a different way when Inuyasha would embrace her, yet she couldn't help longing for Inuyasha's hug, even if she loved being in Sesshomaru's embrace.The warmth of his muscular chest soothed her in such a way that she felt as if she were melting in his embrace. The quiet pulse of his heart echoed softly in her ears, and she closed her eyes with a faint smile as another tear trickled down her milky cheek.
This is what she had always been denied...
To have a life, to cry, to smile, to have a heart, to...love.
Love. Even dead, she had been able to feel it. But now, she was no longer dead. She had a life...and a heart.
Love couldn't easily be described, but it wouldn't be forgotten that easily. Love was...when you felt like you had a heart.
I never want to forget how love feels. I never want to lose this feeling. Thank you, Sesshomaru. I hope you can always make me feel like I have a heart...
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent
A little more time