A/N: One more chapter to go for A Series of Firsts! In the meantime, I have decided play with hyphens, because...I just felt like it. (Take that, proper punctuation.) Thanks for reading!
1. On the Science of Guilt

Night falls on Seireitei, moonlight illuminates her delicate features, shadows pool around her bedside and out of the haze of her dreams she wonders, 'why do you insist on staring down at me with eyes that burn with an intensity unmatched -'

"Hitsugaya-kun," she murmurs. A thick silence blankets the room and she rolls over onto her side, half-asleep, lazily reaching a hand out to grasp the hem of his robe as she smiles inwardly and thinks, 'always so stubborn -'

The rustle of discarded clothing assures her of his compliance to her unspoken demand, so she relaxes and waits for him to slip under the covers, to kiss her goodnight, to make a caustic comment about how she hogs the blankets or how she could at least be awake when he returns from a long day at work -

A hand, rough and calloused from years of combat, gently tilts her face up towards his, but when she blinks the bleary sleep from her eyes she sees gold-flecked brown in place of piercing green and realizes, 'not these eyes, no, i would know these eyes anywhere -'

She tenses in shock as he presses his lips to hers, soft caresses nothing but cruelty masked with sensuality as his hands trail over her body, leaving invisible scars and unseen bruises in their wake as she closes her eyes and tries to hide from the man who relentlessly marks her as his -

He surrounds her with intoxicating whispers of broken promises and finely woven lies, and she has never experienced hatred as deep as what she feels for herself when her body arches, a traitorous response to a traitor's touch -

"I hate you," she forces out between ragged breaths, but his mouth is fire on her skin, his hands tear her apart with their careful ministrations and his eyes tell her that he knows better, knows that she is lying, knows exactly what and how deep she feels as her soul aches to the tune of, 'stupid, stupid girl, this is not the Aizen you once knew -'

He smiles, slow and deliberate and completely different from what she remembers, but his gaze smoulders with cold determination and so much that she does not, will not, cannot understand -

She cannot resist and he knows it, knows exactly how her guilt scales with her pleasure as she throws her head back and gives in to the man that she still loves, as her heart shatters into a million irreparable shards -

"Please," she finally breathes, her eyes imploring and wild and desperate as her mind recoils, 'this is wrong, wrong -'

Darkness falls on Seireitei, moonlight seeks shelter behind gathering clouds, and shadows engulf them both as she screams her captain's name and thinks, 'Shiro-chan, Shiro-chan oh god I'm so sorry -'


Characters: Aizen, Hinamori, mentions of Hitsugaya