Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from 'Naruto' but I do own the plot.
Title: Has Sasuke got the Balls?
Summery: Kakashi prepares to instruct his troupe in special weight lifting training. But when He and Naruto start talking about the 'balls' that they will be using, will Sasuke be able to take the suss?
Rating: T / 13+
A/N: This story has references to sussness (suss). If you aren't into that kind of thing, then don't read it.
Has Sasuke got the Balls?
It was a beautiful day in Konoha Village. The sun was shinning and there was still dew on the ground from the previous night. However, one particular ninja-in-training's attitude, didn't suit the scenery.
'You're late Kakashi,' Sasuke grumbled.
'Ah yes but for a very good reason. I saw a poor fish drowning in a lake and just had to save it by bringing it to shore and warming it up in the fire, which I just so happened to of prepared before this incident occurred.'
Naruto and Sasuke just stared at their sensei for a few moments before replying 'Uh huh.'
'And where exactly is this fish now?' Sasuke inquired.
'Alas,' Kakashi stated 'I was unable to save the poor thing but…' he patted his stomach a few times 'it's not complaining about where it ended up.'
'Well that's ok then.' Naruto said. 'But that story of cooked fish made me hungry. I skipped breakfast this morning.'
i Baka /i Sasuke thought. 'Speaking of skipping,' he directed at Kakashi, 'Where is Sakura this morning? And why are we here this early in the first place?'
'Ah, so full of questions; I remember when I was younger…'
'Just answer the question.'
Kakashi smirked. 'Very well. The answer to the first question is that Sakura is, sadly, unwell and will not be able to join us. The answer to the second question is that we will be doing some basics in weight training today to build up your endurance. Speaking of which, Naruto, there should be a couple of balls hanging around!'
After a few moments of searching Naruto called out 'I can't find them!'
'Look harder!' Kakashi then turned to Sasuke. 'They're big enough. He should easily spot them.'
Sasuke's mind did a double take.
'I found your balls Kakashi!' Naruto yelled from behind a bush.
'That's good. How many are there?'
'Enough for two balls each!'
'Great, that's the right number. Now, keep a good grip on your balls.'
i Is he doing that on purpose? /i Sasuke thought as he accepted two of the balls from Naruto.
'Naruto! Stop playing with your balls!' Kakashi said calmly.
'I'm not playing with them,' Naruto replied. 'I'm just putting them into my mouth cause I was hungry and I wanted to know if they tasted as nice as the ones I have.'
'It's amazing that you can fit two whole ones in your mouth at the same time actually,' Kakashi replied, impressed.
'Yeah, I found that they tasted nice a while ago so I kept practicing and now I can fit two whole balls into my mouth without any problems.'
i Okaaay. I'm sure they didn't mean to imply anything. /i Sasuke thought. 'Why are we doing this exactly?'
Kakashi thought about this for a moment. 'I guess we're doing this because Tsunade asked me to show off these balls.'
'Tsunade wants us to play with balls?' Naruto asked.
'These are very special weighted balls you know,' Kakashi replied.
'Are they yours?'
'As a matter of fact they are. These pairs of balls are very special to me.'
i Well gee THAT worked /i
'Why exactly are these two little balls so special?' Naruto inquired.
'It takes a lot of effort to play with them but afterwards you just seem to feel satisfied.' Kakashi winked.
'GAHH!' Sasuke yelled out, 'My mind!'
Kakashi looked down at him with a frown. 'You startled Naruto, Sasuke, and now he's gone and dropped his balls.'
'Baka!' Naruto yelled. 'Now my balls are all wet.'
'How are they Naruto?' Kakashi inquired. 'Can you still play with them?'
'Nah, they're ruined. They've absorbed the water on the ground and now they're all wrinkly.'
'You'll have to dry your balls in the sun. Put them on that log over there.'
'Gods! Why are we even having this conversation?' Sasuke blurted out.
'Because you caused Naruto to drop his balls, therefore soaking up the water and becoming too wet to use,' Kakashi replied simply.
'I did not startle him into wetting his balls!' i Did I just say that? /i
'How else would these juices be on my balls then huh?' Naruto said smugly. ' i Someone /i had to have done i something /i .'
'Eww... no, I…'
'Sasuke, you'll just have to share your balls with Naruto,' Kakashi interrupted. 'Come on Sasuke, hold out your balls and give them to Naruto to hold.'
'But he's going put them in his mouth!'
'Naruto, Sasuke doesn't want you sucking on his balls ok?'
'What the hell!' Sasuke yelled.
'Alright, alright, I'll be careful.' Naruto took the two balls from Sasuke. 'Look how gentle I'm being with Sasuke's balls.
'What the hell is wrong with the both of you!' Sasuke screamed. 'Haven't you been listening to what you've been saying this whole time! To what you've been implying!'
Naruto thought back on what he'd said... and had no clue 'What did I say?'
'Gahh! You both keep taking about balls!'
Kakashi's eyes went wide. 'Sasuke, I didn't know that you had such a perverted mind.'
'What? Me? No…I…'
'Frankly,' Kakashi continued, 'I am shocked to discover that you cannot handle this serious training. I'm going to postpone this lesson until you calm that jumpy mind of yours. Naruto, you best be off home.' And with that, he left.
With a glare from Naruto and mumbles of 'cancelled our weight lifting training.' echoing in his mind, Sasuke wondered if he truly was at fault. Maybe he had just heard wrong…