Author note: Me and my friend Lashala wrote this together. I hope you like it! I do not own Harvest moon or the cat in the hat! Or Dr Seuss.Or the Oompa loompas But why would I want to? shivers

Jack walked around one cloudy day when he heard a booming voice. "Come take advantage of our exciting farm plan!" Jack then held up his hand and yelled:

"Ah farming that does sound exciting! Sarcasm. Cows chickens and bouncing sheep!" Jack then looked for where the booming voice came from and saw a tiny little man with a hat. "You look like you came from Dr Seuss! Where's your tall cat with a red stripped hat?" Suddenly the cat in the hat walks by. "Nevermind. Ok you're an Oompa loompa then!" The man in the hat looks at Jack with a stare of happiness with a cross on his head. Jack then wonders where that cross came from. The man in the hat says, "That's enough of that. Do you want to take advantage of this plan or not?"

"Oh yeah sure sure." Sarcasm. The man in the hat said he was the mayor. Jack thought he looked like a teddy bear.

"Where do you wanna live?"

"Where do I wanna live? I haven't even seen the village yet!"

"You don't need to! I'll describe it to you!"

"You can't tell anything from description." The mayor ignores Jack and pulls out a box with three choices. Jack looks at the box considering it carefully. "Hmm. I think I'll take the ocean."

"No. Not the ocean. The land is unfertile." Jack considers this for a moment.

"I'll take the village then!"

"No not enough room." Jack looks annoyed and says "Well do you have any problems with the river then?"

"No the land is fertile and you have room for everything!" Jack smacks his head and mumbles.

"Fine I'll take the river then." He then thinks to himself; 'He must have a lot of river property to give away.' Jack then found himself standing in front of the river house that seemed to pop out of nowhere. "What the hell? Where did this come from?" After the mayor ignores Jack again he says, "You can arrange your furniture now." Jack then found himself moving automatically and was freaking out now. He moved all the furniture around and walked outside. The mayor tells him to go to sleep and Jack doesn't want to due to him thinking his house is haunted, but yet again he is teleported to the bed and falls asleep. He is then awakened to the sound of somebody pounding on his door. He then grumbled, "It is 6 am why is someone pounding on my door?" He walks out to find to his surprise no one's there. He slams the door and heads back to bed. To his utter disappointment he heard another pounding at the door. He walks back to the door muttering, "Damn kids..." He looks out to find yet again no one. As he turns to slam the door again he hears a voice coming from the ground. "We're down here you jerk! Yea!" Jack was kind of surprised and said, "I'm the jerk? You're the one pounding on my door at 6 am! Who do you think you are?"

"We're the harvest sprites and we serve the harvest goddess! Yea!"

"Stop screaming yea!" Jack said holding his ears.

"No! Yea! Come with us. Yea!"

"No I'm going back to bed!" Jack said as he was trying to close the door only to find himself run into a statue. "Ow my eye!"

"This is the harvest goddess. Yea!" Jack had a bubble float out of his head as he said,

"It's a statue..."

"No. Yea! It's the harvest goddess only she was turned into a statue. Yea!"

"You know that can be very annoying..." Jack said as the sprites glued something to his hand. He then waved frantically to get it off. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"Hahahahahaha! Yea! This will be our spy camera I mean... Yea! It will monitor your work progress. Yea! It's a pedometer. Yea!" Jack thought that sounded so wrong and tried to run away from them but was knocked down by a glowing note thingy.'Theterrible thoughts note.' "Ahh holy crap! Don't smite me Harvest goddess! Don't smite me!" Harvest sprites looked very confused now.

"Um... Yea! The harvest goddess will smite you if you don't help by working your ass off! Yea!"

"But she is a statue..?"The harvest sprites looked evilly happy.

"She'll find a way. She always finds a way. Muahahahahahah! Yea! As long as we keep saying yea she won't bother you. Yea!" Jack looked scared and fell into a fetal position and sucked his thumb.

"There's no place like home. There's no place like home." Then another note appears above his head and he freaks and runs off screaming. "Ahhhhhhhh!" A box appears below the note saying, 'Sucking your thumb note.' Jack unable to leave the Harvest goddess spring frantically tries to hide behind a bunny only to have the note knock the bunny unconscious. 'Hiding behind the bunny like a wuss note.' Suddenly a person with purple hair and a hat comes up to Jack.

"Jamie! Yea!" The harvest sprites yell.

"I'm not working with you guys!"

"Why did you come up here then? Yea!"

"To save Jack from you guys!" Jack looks at Jamie and has to ask.

"What are you? Are you a man or a woman?" Jamie looks pissed and looks at the sprites.

"Nevermind. You can have him. You will never be better than me!"

"I just wanted to know to what you are! Take off your pants!" Jamie looks horrified and runs away with a note chasing 'it' saying 'Running from perverts note.' Jack then finds himself at his house again and was still trying to get the pedometer off his hand only to have it crawl to his arm.

"That was freaky." Jack said as he is hit with a bunch of seeds and a hoe. He looks to see who threw it and saw two pink haired ladies laughing and running in a shop. "Okay... Jack said as he got to planting the seeds only to be hit with a damn note again. "The being hit by a girl note.'

Jack then turned and tripped on a purple leaf heart thing and fell on his nose thus breaking it. A note hits him unconscious saying 'The breaking your nose note.' Jack then appears at the hospital in front of a man in a lab coat. "Are you conscious?" Jack nods and the man then starts laughing. Jack thinks to himself 'I don't see what is so funny, I broke my nose!' "You tripped and broke your nose." The man said as he laughed. Jack just watches the man in amazement.

"Who are you!"

"I'm Alex. I'm the doctor."He said laughing still. Jack then thinks to himself, 'I'm screwed.' "If you give me stuff my good friend Martha will move into the village, and if you ship thirty herbs her creepy granddaughter and a girl that dresses like a moroccan princess will move in."

"That sounds scary."

"Just give me stuff."

"Ok just fix my nose!" Jack said as a note smacks him and says 'Giving in to weird commands note.' Jack then rubs his head and yells in sarcasm. "Lucky!"

"What did you say?" The doctor asked.

"I don't know sounded like ducky to me."

"Well your nose should be better. Hahahha"

"Stop laughing at me!" Jack says as the doctor laughs.

Jack then pops back outside his house with a 'pop' noise. "Stupid hyena doctor..." Jack mumbles before grabbing the dangerous purple herb and throwing it in a box.

"Hi!" Came a deep voice that scared Jack.

"Ahhh don't do that!" Jack said holding his heart as a note falls on him saying. 'Being scared by a man that is bigger than you note.' Then a duck walked by and Jack yelled "Ducky!"

"I'm Bob!" Jack looks at him with bubbles coming out of his head.

"Bob your scary."

"I'm not scary. I'm the shipper." Bob said as he took the herb. "I'll give you your money tomorrow!"

"Hmm money you say?" Jack rubs his chin. "I like the thought of money. What do I have to do?"

"Just put anything in that box there." Bob said smiling.

"How about rocks?"

"No not rocks."

"How about weeds?"

"No not weeds."

"You can't say anything then can you?" Jack said with a cross on his head. "What about blocks of wood?"

"Yes you can ship blocks of wood!" Bob yells happily. Jack looks a bit scared at a grown man leaping for joy.

"Don't hit me!" Jack cowers in the corner. Bob looks at him weird and just walks away.

"Just remember to ship things." He says as he walks away.

Jack shouts from the corner, "Ok anything! Just don't hurt me!" Fades to black.

Author note: Do you think we should continue this? Just review and tell us!