Setting: PKW filler, on their way back to Qujaga.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the words. Only the order in which they were placed.
Author's Notes: I got this idea and started writing it awhile back, but then I kinda hit a wall and put it on hold. But I decided to give this another go the other day, however, and managed to get it finished. It didn't turn out quite like I had originally envisioned, it ends a bit more abruptly than I had intended, but I think if I had tried anything more that it would have lost its meaning and become a little redundant, etc. I'm not completely confident about the characterizations, but I'm still relatively new to FS fanfic, so I guess we'll see.
Oh, and I apologize if I end up making a complete mockery of the English language (not that it's hard, mind you ), but the connection would just not leave me alone!
Any and all mistakes (barring those resulting from the QuickSquish) are mine alone.
Encarta World English Dictionary (1998-2004):
1) conceiving of young: the fertilization of an egg by a sperm at the beginning of pregnancy
2) broad understanding: a general understanding of something
3) formulation of idea: the process of arriving at an abstract idea or belief or the moment at which such an idea starts to take shape or emerge
4) origin or beginnings: the beginnings or origin of something
Aeryn lay on her side on the bed, her belly already starting to fill with her child. It was strange - the fetus had only been back in her body for a couple of arns, and already it was wreaking havoc with her systems. And it comforted her to no end.
Well, that, and the arms of her…well, he wasn't her husband, not yet. It was their frelling luck, interrupting normalcy at every turn. Like they should have expected anything less. Well, whatever he was at the moment, the feel of John's arms around her as he lay behind her, one hand dancing lazily on her partially distended stomach, was comforting. She idly wondered just how big she would get before this was over; already, her mobility was somewhat compromised. It was not an ideal time for any of this. Luck, again. There would probably never be an ideal time, not with their lives.
She sighed, partly from the comfort surrounding them just then, and partly from exhaustion. They were allowing themselves this small respite as they travelled to their destination. He had said something about her body having to catch up to where the baby had been when they put it back in her womb. She didn't care, all she knew was that she had never felt so tired and yet so at peace as she did at that moment, when she could turn her thoughts to her growing family, and for a moment forget what they were heading into. Not long ago she'd told D'Argo she hoped she would come around to the idea of a child; and now, after nearly losing that possibility - again, she thought, somewhat bitterly - and then being reunited, she couldn't think of "coming around." She was already there.
But still…if her body felt like catching up anytime soon, that would be great, too.
"You okay?" she heard from behind her.
"Yes." The simple statement was all that was needed.
His hand continued its lazy dance. "So, this is real," he whispered, more to himself than to her.
"We're gonna be parents."
Something about what he said gave her pause. It wasn't how he said it, no, his voice was full of awe. It was his choice of words…parents. There was no doubt that he wanted this baby, considered it theirs. That was quite obvious by his reaction right before his proposal…she grinned faintly at the memory. But they hadn't had time to really talk about it. He might consider this baby theirs, but did he think of it as his? She knew at this point he would never voice any doubt, but that didn't make the question any less valid - she didn't want to be responsible for any more haunting of his mind.
Despite her thoughts, she couldn't help but add, "It's an amazing concept."
She felt him nuzzle the back of her neck, chuckling softly against her skin. "What?" she asked.
"Concept," he repeated. "Conception." Aeryn felt his lips against her neck and closed her eyes, knowing there was no chance of that right now. There was too much going on right now, and when they'd laid down there had been an unspoken agreement that she was in no condition for any exertion, not without rest.
However, once again, his words made her think. Conception. She knew the English word, and certainly knew full well what he had meant by it, and was struck again at how strange his language was. In Sebacean, those two, well, concepts, for lack of a better term, were given completely different wording, with no possibility of confusion. For reasons she couldn't decipher, though, she was considering them in their English contexts, and an idea was forming in her mind about how to address her previous train of thought.
"Do you remember that night on the false Earth of the Ancients?"
She could swear she felt the grinning of his lips against the back of her shoulder. After a pause…"No."
"No!" she was caught off-guard for a microt.
"As much as I would love to, that is not happening right now."
She sighed. If he didn't have his arms securely wrapped around her body, she'd smack him. And if she weren't too worn out at the moment, she'd get herself into a position where she could smack him. Instead, she decided to ignore it for the time being and continue on to her point.
She turned a little, just enough so that she could look at his face. Seeing her serious expression, he began to pay closer attention. "What is it?" he asked softly.
She took a breath, and decided to forge ahead. "I…I don't know when this baby was conceived."
He breathed deeply and pressed his forehead as close as he could to hers in their current position. They stayed that way for a few microts, Aeryn waiting for what his response might be, before he pulled back. "You know I don't care about that. You say it's mine, then it's mine. I don't care whether it was this John Crichton, or the other one, who put it there. And I know that, depending on the circumstances, either one of us could have, and would have, been blamed for it." He gave her a grin and pressed his lips to her temple. "All that matters is you, me, and this little one here."
She felt his hand splay gently across her abdomen as he said those last words. Her heart warmed to hear him say those words, but she wasn't done. "Have you ever considered the possibility that he, or she, was conceived that night?"
He was about to ask what she was referring to, until he remembered what had initiated this conversation. It was then, also, that he realized that something about her question sounded off…it took him a few moments to realize she had been speaking Sebacean, but had spliced in the English word for "conceived." He shrugged it off and answered, "It has crossed my mind. But I guess we'll never know for sure."
"In a way, we do."
That got his attention, and his eyes widened. "You know that for sure? But you just said --"
"I don't know if the child was conceived there, but I do know that it's conception took place then…at least, for me it did."
There was a lengthy blank look, and then…. "Okay, you've lost me."
She furrowed her brow in thought, trying to figure out how to explain this to him so that he would understand. Finally, she decided to just lay it all out.
"For me, that night was…special, significant."
He responded in a low, near-haughty voice with, "Well, that's always good to know."
"That's not what I mean." Seeing his raised, questioning eyebrows, she decided to…what was the expression? Give his dog her bone? "Not entirely, at any rate."
He grinned, clearly understanding the game, then turned serious once more. He turned and brushed his nose against her hair and softly asked, "What did you mean?"
She gathered her thoughts and ploughed forth. "That night, it changed me. I think it was the first time I truly believed those words you said to me when we first met, that I could be more." She awkwardly pushed herself up and turned a little more towards him, bringing her fingers to glide down the side of his face and linger under his chin. "It may have taken us a long time after that to be in a position where all of this," she brought her thumb up from under his chin to trace along his lips, pausing when he moulded his lips to kiss the digit, his eyes boring into hers, "Would be possible. But it was that night, just the two of us together, where I first thought that any of this might be possible, that one day I just might be able to be in this position.
"To be with you, always, and to have a child, this child. Ours for eternity, belonging to no one else. And that is something I shared with both of you that night."
She watched his face for signs of comprehension, that he truly understood what she was saying. His slow, loving ghost of a smile said all that it needed to, and the burning fire in his eyes told her that it had definitely been the right thing to say, no matter what he claimed.
He sighed softly in contentment. "It really doesn't matter when this fetus was created, does it?"
She gave a deliberately slow, negative shake of her head. "No. The idea for this child began that night."
His eyes held hers for what seemed like arns, never wavering from their loving gaze. Slowly, the smile he held grew larger, and his voice filled with awe as he finally made the connection. "Conception."
She nodded and gave him her consuming smile as she affirmed, "Conception."