Here it is. A series of tales, featuring Mr. Man and Sidekick Bob.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

Warnings: OOC, language and some sexual references.

If you throw in a bit of 'once upon a time' and a teaspoon of 'in a far away land', you'd probably come up with a fairly decent fairytale. But, this was no fairytale. It was… something else.

Yuki and Kyo Sohma sat across from each other, staring daggers. But, when no one was looking, each cracked an awkward smile, before returning to the glaring. You see, the hatred is only something to hide the Cat and the Rat's secret alliance. An alliance, which they formed themselves, to rid the cities and streets of crime. Or at least loiterers and old ladies.

It was about 7pm at night, when they received the call from the mayor.

"Help, help, Sidekick Bob and Mr. Man! The main street is being attacked by crazy old woman! They are spanking people illegally! Without permits!"

"Gasp!" Cried Kyo, when he heard the news through the phone, "Without permits! How illegal and rude of them! Me and Mr. Man will be on our way!"

Kyo slipped into the closet and took off his bracelet. Dun dun dun! He jumped out, in a purple jumpsuit with red love hearts and a silver cape, exclaiming,

"Never fear, Sidekick Bob is here!"

With his orange hair stuck up in the original "Sideshow Bob" fashion, he exited the room quietly so no one would see him. He had to find Yuki…

"Yuki…" He whispered in the toilet bowl, "Yuki…"

"Yes, Sidekick Bob? Is there trouble?"

"Sure is, Mr. Man! Some evil old ladies are spanking people! With no permits!"

"Gasp! This sure is serious" Gasped Yuki, "I'll go transform! In the mean time, listen to this waiting music" Yuki said, while inserting a disc into a CD player which magically appeared behind him. Sidekick Bob listened, while Yuki transformed.

In the magical closet, Yuki took off his angsty face and smiled, which caused him to transform into the infamous Mr. Man. His green jumpsuit with orange stars, along with his black cape, really bought out the colour in his hair!

He stepped out of the closet and went to find Sidekick Bob, who was still gawking at the waiting music. Mr. Man tapped his shoulder.

"Come," He said in a manly voice, "We must rescue the people from the old hags. But first, we must make an escape from the house without the fellow inhabitants seeing us!"

"Stop talking so smartly," Replied Sidekick Bob in an even more manly voice, slapping his partner on the back, "There's no need!"

So then they jumped out the window and fell flat on their faces.

"Maybe we should have used the front door," Moaned Mr. Man angstly, rubbing his bottom in the process. Sidekick Bob nodded as they skipped into the town where people were in peril.

As they skipped down the winding roads which led them to their destination, they received odd looks from passers by.

"Are they for real?"

"Is that… PRINCE YUKI?"

"Is that… PRINCE KYO?" (In the manga, there is a Prince Kyo fanclub too. Refer to manga book 17, for more details…)

It seemed that everyone was in shock. Of course, because Mr. Man and Sidekick Bob were painfully oblivious, they thought everyone was waving and telling them how manly and strong they were. They waved back, blowing kisses.

Once the destination which was the destination which they were destined to be destinated upon, they set to work to defeat the old grannies who were spanking with out permits.

"You! Old hag!" Yelled Sidekick Bob at the top of his lungs, waving his hand, "Yoo hoo! Your spanking without a permit! That's very illegal of you!"

"And sexual!" Added Mr. Man, "Very sexual"

Mr. Man ran up to an old lady and attempted to attack her, but failed and tripped over her old granny walking stick. He cried out,

"Help, Sidekick Bob! For I am being held hostage to the old woman!"

"Excuse me, young boys, we were just out for a picnic with the old folks home and were asking some people to help us cross the street. Is there a problem-"

"THEY ARE TRYING TO BRAINWASH US!" Shrieked Sidekick Bob, running to Mr. Man's side and prodding him with his index finger intently.

"It'll be ok, Mr. Man! I'll attempt to rescue you!"

Sidekick Bob looked around in his tight, jumpsuit, pocket for something to use to attack the old granny who was looking inquisitively at Mr. Man, as he lay sprawled on the floor, shaking and mumbling about being held hostage and how he was going to die.

But then, Sidekick Bob needed to sneeze, so he got out his hanky and blew his nose. There was a lot of snot. But then, he had an idea! YES! AN IDEA!

"I will now attack you, old hag!" He cried, throwing the very snotty, and sparkly hanky at her, which promptly attached itself to her blouse and smeared yellow-ish goo all down the front of her.

"Yaaa!" She screamed and hobbled away with the other grannies. Sidekick Bob then poked Mr. Man and told him he was saved.

"Yay!" Mr. Man said happily, "Let's go eat sushi, then go home!"

"No, let's just go home"


So then, Mr. Man and Sidekick Bob skipped home, their job done.

But little did they know, an evil more evil than evil grannies was bestowing it's evil upon the non evil accepting town…


Well, how random was that? For dumbies…

Mr. Man Yuki.

Sidekick Bob Kyo!

Yes. Now, go on and review!