Summary: A dark past of Lina's… Man I never knew I could write this kind of story… but then again I was able to write a lemon with Filia and Xellos O_o … (Don't ask, I've not had the guts to post THAT at THIS site) Oh this story does have a fairly happy ending,
Warning: Dark Fic. Talks about rape and abuse. Caution. It's a nice fic (so I was told) despite being so depressing at first. Also this is a Xellos and Lina coupling. And Lina is just a tad Out of character. but for a rape victim she's pretty in character.
"You're just like your mother! A little slut! So we KNOW that you want it…!"
Disgusting hands moved over her body in the most intimate of ways… she bit back a sob.
"NOOOO!!!" she screamed, "Leave me alone!!! Don't touch me!!! Let me go--- Someone please help me!!!"
No escape… An unyielding grip on her arms… she felt choked sobs wrack her body. She had never before been this scared or violated….
A dark room and a bed… They wouldn't let her go…!
So much pain as they violated her in more ways then one. Pain inside her and down in her lower body… A ripping almost tearing pain…
Lina woke up with a small scream of, "NO!" as she dripped sweat.
A horrible feeling went through her and she ran down the inns stairs and out the door and rounded the house where upon she lost the contents of her dinner.
Horrible images flooded her mind with a harsh cruel realistic reality.
"Go away…" she pleaded silently in her mind as tears dripped down her face, "Not again…No more…"
Lina remained quiet that day, causing the group to worry, what made matters worse, she hadn't eaten so far from what they knew. Filia was the one to audibly bring this up while feeding baby Val.
"Ms. Lina something seems to be troubling you… Do you want to talk about it?" her tone was a sweet and calming sound.
Lina looked at the priestess with a sigh and shook her head slowly, turning her head from the group to look to the middle of the tavern. Xellos could feel the depression radiating from her in waves.
"Lina-san?" Amelia asked quietly and half shyly.
"I have nothing to say." She said simply. A tone that seemed to be saying, 'Just leave me alone I give up with my life.'
Lina was the complete OPPOSITE of how she usually acted. She hadn't even smacked Gourry for asking if it was 'that-time-of-the-month'. They had stayed at the inn during the days that she was depressed and were still waiting for her to return back to normal. On the fourth night she came up to them in the inns separate living room. Filia, Amelia, Sylphiel, Baby Val, Xellos, Zelgadis, and Gourry were sitting near the roaring fire.
At the sight of Lina's presence Gourry's handsome childlike face smiled brightly at her. "Lina! Glad to see you're ok and down here now!"
Lina nodded quietly at him and the group began talking again mirth rising among them… except for Lina. Lina watched silently all the while. By midnight Amelia, Sylphiel, and Baby Val had fallen asleep on the inns couch.
Filia had attacked Xellos for a crude comment he had made, something about if their was a reserve mace somewhere they didn't know about. The end result being a broken table, two broken vases, one broken chair, and an unconscious Ryuzoku Priestess lying on the broken table mace off to the side.
Xellos floated over to Zel, Lina and Gourry, and sat next to Zelgadis. (We can all imagine that Zelgadis was 'thrilled' to have Xellos sit by him. Haha.)
He watched the fiery hot flames dance around in the fireplace, sending light off of Lina's crimson tresses. She was a very beautiful girl for a human, he himself admitted it. He watched the trio as he listened to the cackling of the fire.
"Have you ever lost your will to live? As if life wasn't really worth the effort? The horror… or the hell?" Lina asked in a hushed voice.
Zelgadis turned to her solemnly and Xellos frowned. "Yes I have." Zel answered truthfully. "Why?"
"Have you ever noticed how life works? Deceit, lies, betrayl, cruelty, children being blamed for their parents faults and problems."
"Hai I have." Xellos answered, he had seen to much of the world to think other wise.
"Have you noticed how men beat their wives after taking their vows, or the woman will go cheating on the man, or both will be drunkards? And if they have children it causes their children grief?"
Gourry slowly nodded, "Life's cruel that way."
"Life hardly seems worth the effort anymore… I've gone through so much hell… all these demons, beatings, spells, evil… Even as a child I was put through hell." She looked up to the three, "Haven't you ever wondered just why Luna and I look NOTHING alike?"
They shook their heads.
"Well before I was born my mother was a part of a very wealthy family. My father married her for that reason. He kept to booze and had a good title himself but was as poor as a pauper almost. My mother began to become disgusted with him as the years passed by. After Luna was born he started drinking more and beating mother within an inch of her life… He'd rape her when and wherever he pleased. The thing is, he wasn't my father, she was only my mother. My mother had slept with one of the other men in the village and became pregnant. And that's how I came to be, the great Lina Inverse, a mistake and plain out unwanted accident."
Her gaze darkened as the men watched her in shock. They had never before heard this or known of it. Lina continued with her story acidly. "Now imagine if you will, being the only bastard in Zelfilia… And everyone making it their personal goal to torment you when your big sister or family wasn't around."
The men looked at her in a horrible shock as she went on, "I was called the whores daughter… and much worse… I was an outcast and unwanted. And all that was because my mother slept around…" her voice waivered as her face went dark, "They believed that meant I did to and that I was that easy."
Gourry and Zel's eyes widened in horror. Xellos and Zelgadis knew what happened if you were a child out of wedlock. Years of torture and hell, and possibly even molestation and rape. Xellos had once seen a child beaten by three other boys and the boy was killed because of that fact.
"When I turned fourteen I was sent to buy eggs from the market for my cake…" her head was lowered so that her eyes were hidden behind her bangs and shadows. "I never made it home that night."
The men looked at her closely and saw alien droplets of water slide down her cheek hitting her lap, darkening the cloth while also dappening it. Xellos looked very, very unpleased.
"What happened Lina-san?" he asked.
"I had bought the eggs and it was getting dark by the time I had started walking home. A bunch of boys grabbed my arms, they were about fifteen to seventeen, there was three of them. They wrenched the basket from my hands and tied my arms behind my back to keep me from using my magic against them in self defense…" she took in a deep breath holding back her tears which threatened to spill.
Xellos gripped his staff tightly, sitting stiffly in his spot as Zelgadis' face went from horror to anger. Gourry, as dumb as he was, knew, or thought he knew what was and had, happened next. "I screamed for help… I swear I did! I kicked them and tried to force my way free for help… I swear I did! I kicked them and tried to force my way free physically…" her voice cracked. "But--- But I--- I couldn't do it… I was trapped and they wouldn't let me go. They dragged me down the alley touching me and saying cruel things to me, touching me in ways I never want to be touched like that again---" she visibly shuddered, "They took me into this house and into this fancily decorated bedroom, tying my wrists together- they pushed me around and said things that scared me more then any other thing I've heard. Even to this day."
She took in a deep breath. "They tore at my dress, saying that they knew I was enjoying it…cause that's what my mother had done…" she turned her head to the fire and had the boys who had done this been there, would have been murdered within a moment. For Zelgadis, Gourry, and Xellos were quite displeased. In fact they were pissed at what had happened to her.
Lina had been their friend, and as bratty or immature as she may of seemed, they had grown to love her. Everything about her. And to find out someone had destroyed part of her in such a way…
Xellos knew instinctively what had happened to Lina-chan at that moment.
"They ripped my clothes even more and pushed me onto the bed—one of them had gotten on top of me… I was screaming for help, for them to stop… but all three of them ignored me… They took turns repeatedly raping me one after another. Doing disgusting things to me as they did so… By dawn they had stopped. I was badly bleeding and hurt. Through out the night they had abused me and raped me to their enjoyment. The wouldn't stop…"
She sobbed openly and began crying, losing her voice to her emotions. "They left me there and untied me knowing I was too weak and injured to move… They then said 'happy birthday Lina' and left me there. Saying that it was my fault… that I had led them on… Because I had worn a dress instead of my usual pants on my birthday…" she drew in a shuddering breath.
"When they found me I was half dead and with a serious fever… I was in and out of hallucinations and unable to hold down food. I was like that for three days and for a week I was bed ridden. But the doctor said the damage had been done…"
Zelgadis moved over to her and hugged her tightly ignoring the blush across his cheeks and Gourry moved a hand over her hair comfortingly.
Lina continued on as the news became worse. "I would and will never have a child because of the internal damage done to me because of the internal damage done to me because of them." She cried against Zelgadis as he, Xellos, and Gourry felt a wave of horror and hate wash over them. Xellos' face had contorted into that of a murderous look. "I probably would get pregnant… but no baby would ever survive… I will never be able to hold a child… I give up." She sniffled as she calmed down.
"What do you mean?" Gourry asked aprehensively.
Lina wiped her tears and avoided his eyes. "It means I'm going to bed."
She stood up as the three men followed suite. They then received the second shock of their lives. She hugged them each and kissed their cheeks. She then left the room, as she reached the stairs she hears a gentle voice behind her.
"Lina-chan---" Xellos whispered as Lina turned to face him. The room was desolate besides the two of them.
"Hai?" she stepped down the step to stand before him curiously. Xellos then leaned down and kissed her, ever so softly on the lips and pulled back. "Broken wings mend in time… especially the birds with the most beautifully bright wings… don't let them win by letting them destroy the wonderful person you have become." He said softly.
Lina felt warmth cross her cheeks as she looked at Xellos' face. She then looked to the floor and walked upstairs to her room where she changed into her PJ's and climbed into bed slowly.
As she started to drift off to sleep she felt a gloved hand caress her cheek gently and heard a soft familiar voice whisper, "Aisheteru Lina-chan…" (1)
As she sat up in a rush she saw a shadow of a figure as it vanished in a mist of black and purple. She blinked in surprise and after a moment she felt a smile gently grow…
"Aisheteru, Xellos-chan…" she whispered back.
(1) – For those of you who don't know, Aisheteru is Japanese for I love you.