With apologies to Dr. Seuss.

Sam:

I am Samwise

I am Samwise

Samwise I am

That Faramir!

That Faramir!

I do not trust

that Faramir

Do you want the Enemy's Ring?

Faramir:

I do not want it,

wary Hafling.

I do not want

The Enemy's Ring.

Sam:

Would you take it

Here or there?

Faramir:

I would not take it

here or there.

I would not take it

anywhere.

I do not want

The Enemy's Ring

I do not want it,

stubborn Halfing.

Sam:

If you found it

by the highway?

If you found it

on a foray?

Faramir:

Not if I found it

by the highway.

Not if I found it

On a foray.

I would not take it

here or there.

I would not take it

anywhere.

I do not want the Enemy's Ring.

I do not want it, annoying Hafling.

Sam:

Would you take it from a box?

Would you take it from a fox?

Faramir:

Not from a box.

Not from a fox.

Not by the highway.

Not on a foray.

I would not take it here or there.

I would not take it anywhere.

I do not want the Enemy's Ring.

I do not want it—

(screaming, Faramir draws his sword and chases Sam around the cave)