Warnings: Angst, maybe spoilers shrugs
"I hate you," he said dully, staring at Edward Elric's tombstone. "I hate you."
Saying that didn't make him feel better. He hadn't thought it would. He bowed his head and stared at the fake grass. Why did they do that? Were they trying to pretend that no one had been just buried there? He gripped the fake grass, warm and unnaturally smooth against his right hand, and tore it out. Fake dirt greeted him. He shuddered.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," he rasped. "Everything was supposed to be okay! We worked so damned hard! Doesn't it count for anything? Anything at all?"
Edward Elric: beloved son and soldier answered him. He stared balefully at the words.
"Lies," he hissed bitterly. "Lies and lies and more lies! That's what everything was built on. Lies!"
His whole body shook, and he waited for the tears to fall. They refused. He hated himself for that.
"You weren't supposed to leave me," he whispered. "That was the biggest lie of all. You said you would never leave me."
Where were the tears? Why wouldn't they fall? He hugged his knees. If nothing else, he deserved his tears. Why couldn't he give him just that.
"I didn't mean it," he said after a long pause. "I don't hate you. I should, though, you selfish bastard. You left me behind to deal with this all alone. Did you think about that? Or," he smiled mirthlessly, "did you never think it would go so far?"
He could almost feel them in his eyes. He thought he remembered what they felt like. He remembered the heat of tears more than the moisture. Fire behind his lids, fire trailing down his cheeks.
Maybe that was why he couldn't cry. His fire was buried, too.
"I love you," he whispered. "Why did you go where I can't follow? Why?"
A jacket tumbled over his shoulders. He started, looking up into Roy Mustang's eyes. "I thought I would find you here," Mustang murmured. "Come on. You can't be seen."
He turned back to the grave. "Why does it matter?" he said dully. "I want to stay here with him."
Mustang kneeled beside him. "Because that would make his death in vain," he replied with a patience he never possessed Before. "You don't want that."
He swallowed. "The idiot should never have died at all," he retorted weakly, allowing Mustang to haul him to his feet. Behind them, Havoc waited at the car, head bowed.
"I know, Ed," Mustang soothed, rubbing his back as he led him to the car. "I know."
Glazed and dull, Edward's violet eyes glanced back to where Alphonse Elric slept forevermore in his brother's grave.